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So I started this 50 sentences for Addison/Alex project awhile back because I really enjoyed doing the same thing for Addison
and Derek, wrote like four sentences, and then got all kinds of upset when Alex didn't even mention Addison this season...
but I found myself thinking about them a lot lately and I got inspired to try to finish it in my endless quest to get myself
back in a good writing groove. The title is from Avril Lavigne's "I'm With You" because it's the song used in my
favorite Alex/Addison music vid (And if the creator reads this, I love that thing, but I have it saved to my computer and
have no recollection of where I got it from or who did it... but it rocks!)
So yeah, I don't own 'em obviously 'cause if I did, either Addison and Alex would be the hottest romance in Seattle or
Alex would be trying to figure out how to beat Pete out for Addie's heart in L.A.
I'm With You by socalwriter
1. Motion -- His whole life has been running from something or to something, so Alex is hard pressed to explain why suddenly
he prefers to lay still so long as his eyes are focused on her.
2. Cool -- The heat from the bare skin of her back nearly burns him, and he can't help but laugh as he thinks of the
difference between the icy Addison at work and this one, so warm in his bed.
3. Young -- People whisper that he's too young for her, but they don't see the scars that have aged him or know that
she's the only one who soothes the wounds his youth left behind.
4. Last -- She confesses that Derek wasn't the first, which makes him smile for some reason, but not nearly so much as
the realization that he'll be the last.
5. Wrong -- He worries about the day when she'll wake up and realize how absolutely wrong for each other they are because
even though it's true, he's forgotten what life was like before they met.
6. Gentle -- The nightmare has been the same for twenty years, but when it finds him in her bed, he wakes not to his
own screams but to her quiet promise that he is finally safe.
7. One -- He sits in Seattle pretending not to miss her until one day he swears he sees her walking down the hospital
hallway, and he follows the phantom all the way to California and her front door.
8. Thousand -- The wait makes her want to scream, and so she starts to count her own heartbeats, the rhythm drawing her
to a count of a thousand before he returns, the smile on his face telling her all she needs to know about the lab results
in his hand.
9. King -- Alex hopes no one ever asks him why checkers has become his favorite game, because he's pretty sure Addison
would kill him if he told people how cute she looks yelling "king me!" while wearing nothing but his Iowa sweatshirt.
10. Learn -- It's a careless joke, the kind of thing he expects little response to, but then he sees her eyes when he
calls her a spoiled daddy's girl, and he knows that not all bad fathers are drunks who play music in dive bars.
11. Blur -- The lecture from the chief is all about attendings and interns blurring lines and making things more complicated,
but Alex knows that loving Addison has clarified his life in a way he never imagined anything could.
12. Wait -- He tries to explain it later, the panic he felt when he realized loving her meant asking her to wait until
he was ready to be the man he wanted to be for her, but Addison only shakes her head and reassures him that he was already
the man she needed, then and now.
13. Change -- The nicknames she's earned range from She-Shepherd to Satan, and most days he can't stand her, so Alex
has no idea why, when he sees her about to meltdown over a malfunctioning vending machine, he rushes to drop seventy five
cents into another so she can have the candy bar she seems to desperately need.
14. Command -- She has total command over every O.R. she steps into, but Addison finds herself all awkward limbs and
stumbled steps as she enters Alex's apartment for their first date at his place.
15. Hold -- It's unintentional on both their parts, but in the aftermath of her compliment and his surprise at hearing
it, the gaze is held too long, revealing a world of possibilities neither had dared to consider until that moment when they
couldn't look away.
16. Need -- It nearly kills him to say it out loud, to tell another person she's become necessary for his survival, but
Alex admits his need anyway, and when he finishes speaking, he's still standing, still breathing, and Addison is holding his
hand.
17. Vision -- She thinks she imagined it, the flash of something she can't quite label that makes her see him with new
eyes, until she finds him staring in awe at the tiny premature boy whose life he saved.
18. Attention -- He couldn't possibly tell you the details of the story she relates to him over drinks, but he can list
the six hand gestures and three smiles she uses in the telling, and he can perfectly describe the lock of hair that curls
against her cheek and tempts him over and over again to reach out and brush it away from her skin.
19. Soul -- Even as his hands peel the silk away from her body, he knows he'll end up hurting her, but he thinks he's
damned already, so he pulls her against him, into him, until she's burned into the soul that the devil will come to collect
one day.
20. Picture -- The nearly identical portraits that hang in their offices of a man, a woman and a little girl drawn in
crayon and signed, "Love, Emma" give away their connection even if she didn't take his name.
21. Fool -- It took months for him to realize that what he imagined with Ava was a fool's paradise, an illusion he shared
with a make-believe woman who could never be his, and by then, his world was already full of interns who had never known Addison
Montgomery or understood why hearing her name sent a piercing pain through his gut.
22. Mad -- He wishes she was mad, that she'd lash out or call him a name because he tried to hurt her and he knows he
did, but she only affirms his declaration and walks away without looking back at him.
23. Child -- When he mentions the little boy named Danny three times in one week, she decides to visit the pediatric
wing, and she doesn't need to see the bruises or witness any tears to know Alex is staring at himself every time he tries
to reassure this child that there is good out there, somewhere, past the hurt.
24. Now -- There's a temptation to turn away, to protect herself now because then--with Derek, with Mark, with him--Addison
paid dearly for her willingness to give, but his whispered "please" compels her to open the door and let Alex in
one more time.
25. Shadow -- The debate over what to name their eight-week old French Bulldog ends when Alex realizes the little black
puppy follows Addison everywhere she goes, like a tiny four-legged shadow.
26. Goodbye -- Stuart Weston, a 4-month-old with an obstructed bowel, is the first patient he loses in his own O.R.,
but even as the guilt makes it hard for him to breathe, he puts the hardest lesson she ever taught him into practice, and
he does the only thing left that he can for Stuart--he brings the baby's parents in to say goodbye.
27. Hide -- She knows he thinks he's tough and thick-skinned, so she delights in her revenge, giving him proof that she's
tougher, that her own protective layer is scarred by many battles, most of which she wins, no matter the size of the beast
she's fighting.
28. Fortune -- It's a silly game, a hold-over from his college days, but when he cracks open the cookie and reads "adventure
and passion await you," Alex can't help but glance at the redhead with his sexiest grin while adding a silent "in
bed" to the fortune.
29. Safe -- They go traditional because they have to pick something, but they both know that it isn't flowery declarations
and promises not to hurt one another that will hold their marriage together, it's the knowledge of how terrifying the world
is when one is without the other.
30. Ghost -- The costume looks a lot like Charlie Brown's tragic many-eyed ghost from "The Great Pumpkin,"
but as she watches Alex carrying their daughter from one door to the next, her wearing his homemade effort, Addison falls
in love with him a little more.
31. Book -- She's thirteen, her hair is in a ponytail and he can barely see her face because it's pressed between the
pages of "Jane Eyre"... but it's his favorite picture of her, and despite her pleas to him to hide it, he keeps
it on his nightstand next to their bed.
32. Eye -- His interns are quick to dub it "the Karev evil eye," and he knows she'll laugh till she cries when
he shows her his version of "the She-Shepherd stare."
33. Never -- The cliché is that never is a long time, but for Alex, it's not nearly long enough to prevent him from being
frozen with fear at the sight of his father standing in the hospital lobby with his hand on Addison's arm.
34. Sing -- He wouldn't exactly call it singing, it's more like babbling with a melody, but the effort the baby makes
to parrot her mother's rendition of "You Are My Sunshine" is his favorite sound on Earth.
35. Sudden -- The last thing she expects is to round a corner and see him there in the lobby of her practice, but nine
weeks after she sent him home to think about what he really wanted, there he is, and in that instant, she feels her life click
into place.
36. Stop -- The fight is brutal, and everything coming out of her mouth is hurting him and everything she hears is breaking
her heart, and then they both just stop, the painful words abruptly ending as they realize where they're headed and choose
to go a different direction.
37. Time -- His palms start to sweat when the chief declares that everyone must join in the night's final dance, and
he's trying to think of how to apologize to her for the missteps and his clammy hands when he feels a life raft in the form
of her fingers tapping lightly against his shoulder, keeping perfect time.
38. Wash -- Before sand had to be shaken out of tiny shoes and juice stained every t-shirt that came in the house, her
idea of a proper Valentine's gift was a blue box filled with sparkles, but when Addison comes home to see three baskets of
clean, folded laundry ready to be put away, she decides Alex has just won the award for best Valentine's gift ever.
39. Torn -- He understands it completely now, that rule about doctors treating their own family, because seeing her so
hurt--seeing where her skin is torn from the glass and the metallic fragments of the car--leaves him shaking, and even her
quiet whispers that she'll be okay can't make the horror go away.
40. History -- They end up spending their first night in bed together in his Los Angeles hotel room, and somewhere around
3 a.m. while they wait for room service because they're both starving, he agrees to her request that he never use the phrase
"love of my life," and she promises to never give up on him, even when he dares her to.
41. Power -- He'd never really gotten the whole "reverse psychology" thing because he always thought it was
crap until she gave him his freedom from her service and, not a moment later, he realized that was the last thing he wanted.
42. Bother -- It's no surprise to him that his friends don't bother to really pay attention to what he's saying past
the word "California," instead immediately launching into rants about the gynie squad and Addison, so he simply
packs up his things as they talk over one another and sneaks out without them noticing he's gone.
43. God -- When a blizzard traps them in their Connecticut hotel, thus ending a planned introductory meeting with Addison's
family, he shrugs, pulls her back into bed and teases that "someone must be on my side."
44. Wall -- His looks like anger, hers like she's pulling away, and they both know that the war to keep those walls down
is something they must fight together.
45. Naked -- He wakes to the feel of sun on his face, the warmth of her skin pressed against his, and when he realizes
that all they're wearing are the platinum bands they exchanged the day before, he pulls her closer, grateful that it wasn't
a dream.
46. Drive -- The drive to County Hospital takes 35 minutes for him, 55 for Addison, so he's already in the nursery holding
the little boy that's about to become their son when she comes in to meet the newest Karev.
47. Harm -- "There's no harm in a little flirting," she remembers Callie saying, but Addison can honestly say
that the sting of Alex's rejection feels very harmful and a lot like the last straw in her seemingly never-ending struggle
to find some happy in Seattle.
48. Precious -- It's a yearly event--she takes the homemade birthday card from their kids--this one decorated with Winnie
the Pooh stickers--and places it in her jewelry box as if it's every bit as precious as the diamonds and emeralds it will
rest with, and he wonders if their children will ever understand that they are her greatest dream realized.
49. Hunger -- The trust fund and the fancy name make it hard for anyone to believe she's ever gone without, but as her
marriage collapses, he recognizes that they both know what it's like to be hungry for someone's love and be left wanting.
50. Believe -- At age seven, Alex Karev decided that people would always disappoint him and that there were no happy
endings, a conviction he held to firmly until he found her, or she found him, and despite his best efforts, Addison Montgomery
made him believe in her and in the chance that even he might get a happy ending.
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