I miss Burke... and I've been having trouble getting my writing mojo jumpstarted to finish off "Who I Am Without You" because my job is trying to kill me... so I wrote this little ficlet to try to get back on track.

If you've read the "New Life" stories, then you know the history here. If you haven't, you can find the shorts at my site, www.socalwriter.com if you'd like to read those before jumping into this one.




It had been a perfect plan because, if he was anything, he was fabulous with details. So Preston had been certain to only use his office line to make all the arrangements, and from it he booked the harbor-touring dinner cruise, picked the menu--appetizers of roasted vegetables and Portobello mushrooms wrapped in puff pastry, a fresh baby-green salad with balsamic vinaigrette, two dinner options of either Addison's favorite pasta dish--a penne in creamy garlic sauce with artichokes and chicken--or a decadent porterhouse steak. He had also arranged for a well-stocked bar and ordered a heavenly double devil's food triple layer cake.

The music was easy... He and Addison had varied tastes, but they shared a mutual love of all things Jazz and so he simply began to sneak their favorite CDs out of the house one at a time until he had a good collection stashed in the car to take to the boat.

The invitations had been simple--a high quality paper embossed with silver printing that asked their friends and family to gather in honor of their favorite redhead's 40th birthday. A stickler for RSVPs, those who hadn't replied by the deadline received calls from Preston as he blamed paperwork for a late night in his office, and finally he had a firm headcount to pass on to the caterer.

Everything was going according to plan until a week before the big night when Addie, exhausted after being up 36 hours straight with Lena's first bout of the flu, had responded to a casual mention of her birthday by saying she hoped he hadn't planned anything, because all she really wanted was to stay home with her guy and her little girl.

Preston had deflected the comment by teasing her about referring to him as "her guy," though he was most decidedly that and had been for some time. Even before she'd begun to take his pursuit seriously, the cardiothoracic surgeon had already realized his good friend was also the one. But the moment of realization for him hadn't been the time to confess his feelings. Addison had still been pregnant with Lena then, working out the details of custody and how life would work with Derek and mostly she'd needed Preston to remain her sounding board and a trusted ally.

It hadn't been until she'd begun to settle into motherhood that she finally took one of his requests for dinner in the manner that he intended the offer to convey. Months later, she had nervously escorted him into her bedroom and though she had been hesitant, she had also been ready. Within weeks, Preston had moved in, becoming not only Addison's partner and lover, but also a daily presence in Lena's life. They were his family now, and he couldn't imagine anything else in the world making him as happy as that simple fact did.

The only complication in their ever deepening relationship were the less than subtle looks of disapproval Derek cast their way both at work and at home during their exchanges of Lena. He refused to overtly object, of course, knowing Addison would give him an earful for having the nerve to have any opinion on her personal life. And for his part, Burke could care less what his work rival thought about the relationship. Derek had been fool enough to let Addison go. That was his problem, and no one else's.

The week between Addison's offhand remark and the actual day of her birthday passed with him only momentarily considering canceling his perfectly planned party. But a quick consultation with Miranda Bailey had ended that notion.

[i]"She'll love it once she's there, once she sees how much trouble you went to. Just be prepared for her to stare daggers at you on the drive over."[/i]

So he was fully prepared when Addison emerged from a luxurious late afternoon bath--specially drawn by him--to see her eyebrow rise at the sight of him sitting on the bed in a suit.

"Bit overdressed for a night in, aren't you?"

"I would be, yes. But we have plans that require the suit."

Addison sighed and walked toward him as she pulled her hair free from the barrette that had held it atop her head during her bath. Before she could begin to mount a protest, though, he began to speak.

"Now there are two ways this can go. You could be mad at me for not honoring your wishes, though in my defense, I didn't know your wishes in time to not make the arrangements I've made for the evening. That would mean neither one of us will have much fun tonight. Or..."

Preston stood and stepped toward her, his hands coming to rest lightly on her waist as he pulled her against him.

"You could just indulge me and let me enjoy spoiling you tonight."

"I'm supposed to do the indulging on my own birthday?" she asked, but her tone had already softened and a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"Well, I will do my fair share of indulging, I promise. Just let me win this one, okay?"

"Do we have a sitter?"

"We do not," he replied, "because Lena is part of our plans tonight. So if you will promise me that in my absence you will put on something lovely from that closet of yours, cocktail appropriate, please, I will go and get little miss ready for our night out."

Addison rolled her eyes playfully. "Fine, but whatever this is better involve chocolate at some point."

He laughed and left her to dress as he kept his promise and made his way to Lena's room. She was sitting inside what Addison referred to as her "baby prison"--a series of interlocking gates that allowed the little girl to crawl and roam without any danger of her tipping over the barriers or getting away somewhere she wasn't meant to be. Lena's independent spirit thrived when she was allowed to play inside the confines of the gates. And though she was not connected to him through biology at all, he often marveled at how much her personality reminded him of his own. Sure she loved attention and to have all her favorite adults play with her, but she was perfectly fine left to discover new ways to stack up her plastic blocks or to find new sounds she could make with her musical toys.

Still, she greeted him with a large grin and a giggle when he leaned down beside the edges of her play kingdom.

"Are you ready to get dressed for our night out?"

Lena crawled toward him and pulled herself up while hanging on to the side of one of the gates. He laughed as she bravely reached up toward him, trusting he'd get her before her delicate balance gave out, and he did, scooping her up and lifting her above his head so he could plant a kiss on her belly, which earned him an onslaught of giggles.

Twenty minutes later, just as he was fighting the buckles on Lena's black Mary Janes, Addison entered the room and came up behind him, leaning her chin on his shoulder.

"Funny how she always lays there so still for you when you're trying to get her dressed, and I get nothing but giggling and trying to twist away from me."

"Well, you don't recite 'Winnie the Pooh' in my irresistible baritone."

Addison laughed and moved to the side of the changing table so that as he stood Lena up, she was there to take her daughter into her arms. That gave Preston a chance to see them together, Addison in a black satin and velvet tank-cut, knee-length dress and Lena in a blue tulle dress that had little butterflies stitched on to it. Their mutual beauty wasn't the type of thing to make him feel lucky, not when he knew how amazing a woman Addison was and not when just a smile from Lena could make a miserable day seem somehow healed. But it was certainly something worth noting, and he leaned over, kissing them each on their respective right cheeks.

"And now that both you lovely ladies are ready, we should get going."

"No hints as to where?"

Preston smiled, reaching into the closet to grab their respective coats.

"You'll see soon enough."

It was, thankfully, a beautiful night. The weather for the time of year had stuck to its predicted warmth and the clouds were scattered enough that he was anticipating a star-filled sky once night fell. Now all he had to do was hope that the plans he'd made were all to the birthday girl's liking.

When they arrived at the marina, he glanced over to try and gauge Addison's reaction. She was staring out the window, taking in the boats and the start of sunset. From where they were seated, you could see the various dinner cruises begin to set out, and though she couldn't see their exact boat, she had gotten the general idea of what the night held in store. When she turned to him, he couldn't help but smile at the excitement on her face.

"Okay, you win, I'm glad you made plans."

"Well, if it makes you light up like that, I'm glad I did, too."

A few quick kisses delayed their exit from the car, but Lena's definite yelp of frustration at wanting out of her car seat drew them out. Preston took up the coats once again, then he coaxed Addison into letting him take Lena. Then, hands knit together, he led her to the slip number the tour company had given him. The boat looked empty except for the captain, who was waiting to greet them and help them aboard. It wasn't until they were up on deck, Addison marveling at how beautiful everything was, that the guests headed out of the cabin led by Miranda and Callie.

The loud burst of surprise stunned the birthday girl and left Lena clapping and cheering at the excitement. Preston bounced the baby up and down as her mother was swept away in a sea of hugs and warm wishes. He watched closely as Addison's stunned face took in all their friends from Seattle Grace as well as the loved ones from New York who had made the trip out. And it truly made him smile to see the warm greeting between the woman he loved and his parents. Their first meeting had been a far different experience than when the Burkes had met Cristina, and while he didn't fault his former lover for that--Cristina was who she was and that's why he'd been drawn to her in the first place--it was a welcome change to have all the most important people in his life get along and enjoy each other's company.

When Lena leaned away from him, pulling at his hold, Preston looked to see what was causing her shift of position. Callie came to his side after a few steps, her arms welcoming the happy baby.

"You throw a seriously kick-ass party, my friend."

"The party's barely started."

"Are you kidding me? Everyone's already been to the bar and had some hors d'oeuvres--which are amazing, by the way--and we had a pool going on whether or not you'd have to call one of us to help you get Addison out of the house."

Preston laughed. "And who won?"

"Bailey, who else?"

The greetings were finally starting to wind down, and so the two doctors headed toward the other guests so they could locate the star of the evening. They were just nearing Addison when Callie leaned into him.

"Should we start another pool on how many times Derek glares at you tonight?"

Preston noticed that Derek and Meredith were the two people currently monopolizing Addison's attention, and he didn't miss the sideways glance the neurosurgeon threw his way.

"I'll put ten on at least half a dozen."

Callie's laugh drew Addison's eyes their way, and she excused herself and made a beeline for them, her arms wrapping around Preston's neck.

"Have I mentioned lately that I absolutely adore you?"

He felt the familiar little thing he always did deep in his gut when she so easily voiced her love for him. The fact that she could give him the offerings of affection without hesitation did not mean she gave them without meaning them. They were always heartfelt, the emotion of them evident in her voice. And they never failed to make him feel like the luckiest man alive.

"Not today, but that's okay, I knew it anyway."

The cruise of the harbor began a short time later, and then there was dinner and cake and dancing and a lot of champagne and martinis. And then they docked and Lena, who had long since fallen asleep on her beloved uncle Richard's shoulder, headed home with her father to sleep over. As Derek said his good nights and collected the little girl, Callie brushed by Preston and stuck a ten dollar bill in his pocket. It took everything he could muster not to burst out laughing.

It took another hour for everyone to get a last few minutes with Addison and say their good-byes, and then, despite how much he had enjoyed the night, Preston sighed with relief at having his beloved all to himself once again.

"Thank you for my birthday party," she crooned, her voice low and inviting as she let him take her hand and pull her close. Despite the lack of music on the now quiet boat, he began to sway back and forth, drawing her into an easy, slow dance.

"You're very welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"It was perfect."

Her head dipped down to his shoulder and Preston pressed his hand against the small of her back as their dance became even more intimate.

"It was so little compared to what you've given me."

"And what is that, exactly?"

He chuckled softly, feeling the vibration move through them.

"Love... and a home and the joy of watching you watch your daughter grow... a safe place to be who I am, always."

She lifted her head, her eyes finding his.

"We gave those things to each other."

He had been planning the timing of his next words as carefully as he had the party--a simple moment, them sitting together drinking coffee in the morning, the words coming as he pushed the ring he had spent two months picking out across the table to her waiting hands. But plans, important as they were, could change, and Preston felt certain that this moment had just become the one he'd been waiting for.

"Marry me," he said, stating it more than asking, his voice steady and sure.

Addison smiled and pressed her lips against his before she snuggled her head into his shoulder once again.

"Yes. I'd like that."

He tightened his hold on her and drew in a deep breath that caught the strawberry fragrance of her hair. And he knew that would be the way he remembered this night for the rest of his life.

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