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Nick stared at the doorway he knew the doctor would come through and he waited, his eyes fixed on that entryway, his hand
maintaining a strong, comforting hold on Daniel's arm.
"She's gotta be all right," the boy said, his voice breaking. "They both gotta be all right, Nick. My
mom... she doesn't deserve this."
Lily Winters leaned her head against Daniel's right shoulder in a gesture of comfort. Nick lifted his arm and let his
hand grip the left shoulder of the young man who a year ago had been the object of his obsessive hate and need for revenge.
But that was before... before Daniel's mother had helped him find his soul again.
"You know how strong she is," Nick said, hoping he sounded stronger and more reassuring than he felt. "No
one will fight harder, you know that."
Daniel nodded. "It's just... this is our second chance, you know? We missed out on so much... but this is our chance
to, I don't know, start over."
A chance to start over... Nick closed his eyes as the words penetrated his heart, breaking through the thin shell he'd
kept there for months now, trying to keep himself from seeing what was so obvious.
He, too, had a chance to start over... with Phyllis... with Daniel... with his baby girl.
He didn't officially know that, of course... that the child Phyllis was now in the E.R. fighting not to lose was his,
but Nick knew. Just like he knew that she had only kept the truth from him to try to save him from finally being forced to
make a choice between his wife whom he still loved and his lover who, more and more, he knew he could not live without.
They had ended things months ago... four months ago... before, he guessed, she had gotten the news that their child was
growing inside her. Nick remembered the day she had told him she was pregnant. She had never let him ask if the baby was
his, and she had not lied. She had just said, "I'm doing this on my own. I'm getting a chance to be a mother again,
and Daniel and me and the baby... we'll be fine."
She had lied to Jack and to everyone else, claiming she'd gotten pregnant after a booze induced one night stand. Everyone
else had believed her, but Nick had known better. Her eyes had told him even though her words never would.
'She's ours.'
It was there every time Phyllis looked at him, and each and every time, Nick had fought the desire to take her hand and
to say, "I know," and to promise her his forever even when he wasn't free to give it away.
There had never been a question that he would know his daughter. He knew Phyllis would never deny him that even if the
relationship had been under the guise of "Mom and Daniel's friend Nick." He'd tried to imagine that... seeing the
woman who filled his fantasies sitting at a table at the Athletic Club, Daniel on one side, a red-haired little beauty on
the other, all big eyes and a killer smile and wavy curls.
In his dreams, he always went to them... no matter what else was happening around him, he could never resist the pull
of all that waited for him at that table across the room... the one that wasn't part of his past with Sharon, but rather his
future with Phyllis.
And finally, sitting here, he knew that the greatest gift Phyllis had given him was not that she'd helped him find his
humanity or that she had loved him or even the child she was going to someday put in his arms... it was the time to come to
this place all on his own, on his own terms so that he could live with the decision he was making for all time.
"Daniel, there's something I have to do."
Nick stood as Lily and Daniel's eyes followed him.
"I'll be back as soon as I can."
*****
She was waiting for him by the fire, his phone call asking her to meet him at home having brought Sharon there before
Nick could arrive. He sighed as he walked in and saw the same sad resignation on her face that had been there for weeks...
months. He'd wondered often if she saw the same thing in him and had chosen to ignore it as he had every time he pushed away
his wife's unhappiness and convinced himself it could be made better with time.
"Nick... you sounded strange on the phone. Is--is everything all right?"
He shook his head. "No. I was at the hospital with Daniel. Phyllis... she's having some complications."
Sharon's genuine distress at the news drew him closer to her and they hugged.
"Do they think she's going to be all right? The baby?"
"They're not sure," he answered. "But I was sitting there and... babe, we need to talk. We've needed
to for a long time, I think, but we both keeping hoping..."
"Yeah," she said, her eyes locking with his. "We've been hoping, but things aren't changing, are they?"
"No," Nick said. "Not the way I had hoped. Not the way I expected. And I realize now that there are
things I need to say to you, if you're ready to hear them."
Sharon nodded and sat down on the hearth.
"I'm ready."
And so Nick told his wife that as much as he loved her, he had felt himself pulling away from her and didn't know how
to stop it. He explained how somehow, through the anger at Daniel and the blame over Cassie and the hunt for justice, he
had found friendship and respect with Phyllis. He confessed that when he had needed to feel connected to someone emotionally
and physically, it had been his friend and not her, his wife, who he had turned to.
"I never meant to cheat, and I never meant to feel for someone else what I do. And I'm not trying to, you know,
take away from what I've done... but I think you... you might understand what I'm saying, don't you, Sharon? Because of
Brad."
At any point in their marriage before the past year, before losing Cassie had changed them, Nick knew this conversation
would have ended in screaming and tears and accusations and anger. But now they were different people--a man and a woman
made more realistic about life by experiencing the best and the worst of it together. And somehow that made this... their
ending... easier.
"You've known, haven't you?" she asked. "That I'm in love with Brad?"
Nick nodded. "And he loves you. I hate him for it, but I can't blame him. You're an incredible person."
She smiled, and Nick remembered the first time he had seen her smile, all those years ago. He smiled, too.
"I will never regret us, Nick."
"Oh, babe, neither will I, ever."
They held each other for a long time as the reality of what was happening, however right, sank in for both of them. Then
Sharon gasped and drew back from him, her eyes filled with concern.
"Oh, God. The baby... she's yours, isn't she?"
"Yeah," he confirmed, a sigh escaping him as he finally was free to speak the truth. "The baby is mine.
Phyllis has been trying to handle it all on her own. But she... they need me."
For a moment, Nick wondered if the whole truth was too much. Sharon teared up as she accepted he was having a child with
another woman... a daughter... that he was making a new family. Then she smiled again and swiped at the tears on her cheeks.
"So... I guess, in a way, Cassie was right, wasn't she? We are both going to have a little girl in our lives to
love. I'll have Abby, and you'll have your new baby."
Nick pulled his wife against him and held onto her one last time. That she could say that... that she could let him go
this way reminded him of all the reasons he had ever loved her. That it hadn't been the forever loved he had hoped didn't
make it any less beautiful.
"Let's talk to Noah together, okay?" He said, his voice slightly muffled by her hair. "After things settle
down with Phyllis... after we've both had a few days to catch our breath."
"Yes," she said as she released their embrace and stepped away. "We'll do it together.... but now... you
need to be somewhere."
Nick nodded. "And so do you."
*****
He pushed the door of the hospital room open and walked in, careful not to disturb the sleeping beauty inside. Daniel
had told him the doctor was optimistic but still concerned. Phyllis' blood pressure had been dangerously high, but she had
responded to treatment and she and the baby were all right... for now.
"The doctor says she needs bed rest, lots of TLC... basically, blanket permission for her to be spoiled rotten."
Nick sat down on the edge of Phyllis' bed. Her breathing was deep and even, relaxed. A sharp contrast to the way he
had seen her hours earlier when she'd been panicked and scared for their child.
Their child... their little girl. His eyes shifted to the fetal heart monitor on the side of the bed and Nick listened
to the speedy, rhythmic "bom bom bom." Music... the opening strains of the soundtrack to the future.
"Nick..."
His gaze shifted back to the woman in the bed. Phyllis' eyes were open, looking at him, and he could tell she was trying
to figure out if she was dreaming or if he was really there with her. Eliminating all doubt, Nick shifted and stretched out
beside her, then pulled her against his chest.
"I'm here, sweetheart. I'm here for you... and for our 'little Red'."
"You don't have to..."
His index finger settled over her lips as Nick whispered for her to hush.
"I know. I want to. I want us. I choose us."
"You're sure?" she asked, her eyes searching his for reassurance. When she found it, he leaned down and kissed
her and then they settled into each other's arms.
He was sure.
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