Derek fought off a yawn as he strode down the hallway toward his patient's room. He had not slept well. Meredith was angry at him, though he wasn't entirely certain why, and trying to figure it out had kept him up half the night.

It seemed the root of the problem boiled down to a) him having glanced for a moment at his wife and b) the notion that somehow their not spending time at the trailer was significant. What baffled Derek still was exactly why these things had caused them to go to bed without speaking and without making love for the first time since he had shown up on her doorstep weeks earlier and told her he had finally left Addison.

He had never felt that he'd have to explain the simple reality of the situation the way he saw it--Addison was his past. But that meant more than just his past romantically--she was a huge part of his life, of who he was, of the kind of doctor he'd become. Their months reconciled in Seattle had reminded him of all that. Divorce didn't erase it. And even if it could, Derek wasn't sure he wanted or was ready for that possibility. Addison was still a part of who he was, end of story.

"Well, everything I'm seeing tells me that things are right on track with his development."

Derek stopped when he heard Addison's voice coming from Mrs. Salton's room. He hadn't expected her to be here this early given how tired she'd been the night before. But Addison hated to keep worried mother's waiting... she always had. More than once he'd watched her crawl out of bed on little more than two hours sleep to go back to the hospital and pick up test results so she could either alleviate a patient's concern or give them a solid plan on what the next step was to solve a problem.

"So you're sure, then, that it's safe to try the steroids?"

The fear in Harley's voice made Derek sigh. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to be in that position--to be scared for yourself and your baby and know that every choice you made could determine whether or not you had a future together.

"I'm sure," Addison said, reassuring her. Derek peeked around the doorjamb and saw Addie put down the ultrasound wand and take Harley's hand.

"I know this is horrible, to have to make decisions like this. But honestly, Harley, you're doing the very best thing you can for your son and for you."

He saw the relief in the expectant mother's face and knew Addison was solely responsible for it. She was an amazing doctor, and he never ceased to wonder at her ability to balance two lives at once, giving equal care and concern to both.

Though he was tempted to walk in and join them, Derek instead stepped back and headed off to get a cup of coffee to give Addison time to finish up. She had asked him--pleaded with him--yesterday to maintain some distance. And he knew that if had gone in, he'd have fallen right into the habits the two had long ago established as partners in medicine. He'd tease, she'd tease back, they'd mutually counsel their patient and then they'd walk out together. But now, instead of taking hands and walking off to talk about lunch plans or dinner reservations, there would be the awkward realization that [i]that[/i] part of their partnership was over. And he didn't want to see that look on her face again.

As it was, he was already haunted by the way Addison had stared at him when he'd marched into the trailer and ineptly ended their marriage. Derek had rehearsed what he wanted to say a hundred times on the drive home--a drive triggered by seeing Meredith kissing another man in the parking lot at Seattle Grace, by the emotional argument that had followed when he had blurted out that he still loved her.

[i]"You're married, Derek. And as long as you're married, you can't love me."[/i]

And so he'd decided right then, right there. He still loved his wife, but he couldn't stop loving Meredith. Derek knew that wasn't fair to either of them, and he couldn't ask Addison to keep waiting for something to pass when it seemed it never would.

So he'd decided. He'd gone home to tell her. He'd known just what to say. Then he'd blurted out exactly the wrong thing, and Addison had looked at him like he had struck her, and Derek knew he would never forget the betrayal he'd seen in her eyes.

Shaking off the painful memory, Derek stared out at the city skyline, sipped at his coffee and decided to wait another five minutes before going back to Harley Salton's room. Addison had asked for distance, for time to "get used to life" the way it was now. It was the least he owed her.

"Hey."

Meredith walked up beside him.

"Hey," he replied. "Want some coffee?"

She shook her head. "I thought maybe we should talk."

Derek nodded. "I agree. I'm just not sure what to say. I... I'm not trying to be a jerk here, Meredith, I just... this isn't like when I left New York. I'm not angry at Addison. I'm not hurt. She's not the bad guy here, and I can't just pretend like she doesn't matter."

"And I get that." Her hair tumbled over her shoulder as she sighed. "I do. And, Derek, I don't need you to be mean to her, I just... Like I said, I just get now what it must have been like for her. Because seeing you miss your soon-to-be ex-wife is only slightly less painful than missing you when you went back to her."

He opened his mouth to protest, but Meredith cut him off.

"You do miss her. Refusing to admit it isn't helping. Pretending that you aren't uncomfortable having me in the trailer now because it's where you lived with Addison is not helping, Derek."

He drew in a long breath and let it out slowly, considering carefully what he might say next. He went with the truth.

"I thought this would be easier."

Meredith moved closer. "I did, too."

Derek chuckled slightly. "I guess the honeymoon phase of 'oh, isn't it great we're back together' is officially over."

"Yeah," she said, sighing again. "I guess so."

His pager went off, and he knew instinctively it was Addison paging about Harley Salton.

"I..." Derek paused, then decided there was no reason not to confirm Meredith's suspicions because, in this moment right now, he knew they were true. "She just left. It feels... disrespectful somehow to just... I'm sorry."

Meredith's eyes locked with his, and he wondered what she was thinking as she gave him her one-word response.

"Okay."

"I, uh, I gotta get that page. I'll see you later."

Meredith's expression didn't change as he moved off and headed down the hallway. Derek couldn't help but feel like somehow their conversation had just made things worse.

*****

Richard Webber was in a bad mood. He'd been in one since he'd checked his messages this morning and he had a sneaky suspicion he'd be in one for a good long while. But that didn't stop him from packing up his briefcase to head out for the lunch appointment he had made, albeit grudgingly. The arrangements had been set for the Metropolitan Grill--a place where the chief of surgery could safely enjoy a good steak without his wife finding out. If nothing else, he was getting a satisfying meal today.

His companion was easy to spot amongst the business suits and ties that made up the afternoon financial district crowd. Though his light beard was well-groomed, facial hair was a rare sight here, and the casual long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans was very noticeable. Richard approached the table and warily took the offered hand that met him.

"Dr. Webber."

"Dr. Sloan."

After taking his seat and ordering an iced tea from their very prompt waitress, Richard laced his fingers together and placed his hands on the table.

"You can imagine I was very surprised and not entirely happy to hear from you."

Mark Sloan chuckled. "I would imagine that's true on both counts, yes."

"Just so we're clear," Richard began, "whatever happened between you and the Shepherds in New York is your business and theirs. But here, anything that affects my hospital is my business. And you should know that above and beyond that, you have to be aware that my personal feelings for Derek and Addison are likely to always make you someone I don't like very much."

"You wouldn't be much of a friend if you didn't feel that way." Mark leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of him. "I admire that. But you should also know that I'm staying in Seattle. That's not going to change no matter how big an ass Derek is to me or how much you dislike me."

"What if Addison asks you to leave?"

It was a pointed question, and Richard saw how Sloan tensed at the very idea of having the redhead send him away... again.

"I'm not here to do anything that will hurt Addison. And I'm not leaving until I'm ready to go."

Richard mirrored the younger man's pose as he leaned back from the table. "So what is it you want from me?"

Mark Sloan smiled.

"Like I said, I'm staying. So either I can spend the next few days considering offers from every other hospital in Seattle or you can just agree that the Craniofacial Center at Seattle Grace is good, but not great... and I can make it great. It's your call."

His bad mood justified, Richard sat silently as the waitress brought back his iced tea. He had anticipated this as soon as he'd gotten Sloan's message. He didn't like to be backed into corners, and professionally, he was. Letting this man go to another hospital in the city went against every reasonable business part of the chief's mind. Preemptively, he had done a budget check to see what kind of offer he was in a position to make... if he decided to make one. Ironically, the fact that SGH could afford to add Mark to their roster was due in large part to Addison... her unit's revenue having quadrupled since she had taken over neonatal.

But did he do it? There was no doubt his hospital would benefit from having a plastic surgeon of Sloan's caliber on staff. Positive press, good buzz and an influx of patients were sure to follow. But this man had just flown across the country to try and win the heart of a woman Richard knew to be mourning her marriage. And that woman was Addison. And part of him was loathe to put her in a position of fending off... or dealing with... Mark's pursuit of her while she was still dealing with the loss of Derek.

He also knew if he made that decision for her, she would probably never forgive him.

"Does she know you're here?"

Sloan shook his head.

"Go see her," Richard commanded. "In the meantime, I'll draw up some contract numbers. We'll talk after I talk to her."

*****

Addison stared at the ultrasound screen in absolute awe. It didn't seem to matter that she looked at these images every single day, that she had done so daily for over a decade now. This little grainy black and white peanut was her baby... and she was as amazed at the miracle in front of her as every mother she had ever treated.

"Everything looks good, Addison."

She nodded at Dr. Robert Winslow, unable to take her eyes away from what she was seeing.

"How's the nausea and dizziness?"

Robert switched off the ultrasound and Addison regretfully turned her attention back to her colleague as he wiped the remaining gel from her abdomen.

"Awful, but the tea helps."

"You lost some weight this week," he noted as he looked at her file.

"I know." Addison sat up and began to tuck her shirt back in. "I'm doing better with protein in the evenings, but it's nearly impossible for me to keep anything down before noon."

"Keep up the effort," Robert admonished. "But you know as well as I do, it'll take awhile for you to find your rhythm of what foods work and what to avoid."

She nodded. "I'll keep trying."

"Anything else going on?"

Addison shook her head. "Tired, emotional, the usual."

Robert made a few notations on the page in front of him, then he looked over at her. Addison saw the concern there.

"You have someone you can talk to?"

"Miranda Bailey knows," she confessed. "She's the only other person besides you who does, but she's a good friend, so..."

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure I didn't have to give you the 'don't try to handle this all on your own' speech."

Laughing, Addison stood up and finished straightening her clothes. "Trust me, Miranda orders me around like I'm a new intern. She's got it covered."

Robert chuckled. "Good. All right, I'll make a note on my personal calendar for your next appointment. We'll still be calling these 'consults' then, right?"

"We will, if you don't mind." Addison sighed as she thought about how much more went into keeping this secret than she'd initially imagined. "I've got a few months to go yet before I'll be ready to talk to Derek about this. And the way gossip races through this hospital, the second I schedule an appointment with you..."

"It's not a problem," Robert said, reassuring her. "I am at your service, as you need me."

Her "consult" finished, Addison thanked Robert again for his help and then headed off to meet Izzie Stevens at Melissa Hardin's room. Mrs. Hardin was in good shape, boosted by her husband's return to town and by a lack of any kind of crisis since her fall. The baby was doing well, there had been no more bleeding, and Addison stood by and let her intern deliver the news that Melissa would be able to go home the next day so long as she agreed to a regimen of partial bed rest until she went into labor. Scott Hardin assured both doctors that he would see to it his wife had all the rest she needed.

Next, Addison checked in on Harley Salton. She had tolerated the steroid therapy well, and tomorrow Addison would check the baby's lungs and see if they were ready to do the c-section or if another round of medication was needed. Joseph Salton was at his wife's side today as he had been yesterday, his face full of love and concern.

It made her feel sad to envy her own patients, but Addison couldn't deny that she did. But it was a waste of emotion and energy, and she knew it. Her baby's father wasn't going to be there at her bedside or fussing over her at home. And wishing it were different would change nothing.

Forcing her mind to something more productive, Addison headed to the NICU to check on her youngest patient--the little girl she had delivered that morning via c-section. Rose Alicia McAllister had been born with a heart malformation, but she was a fighter, and Addison had a good feeling about her outcome. That feeling intensified when she walked in and found little Rose staring out of her incubator, her eyes wide and determined.

"Hey there, little one." Addison reached for the baby's hand. The tiny fingers wrapped around her index finger and squeezed tightly.

"I heard a rumor you're trying to take over this place."

The nurse on the opposite side of the room laughed.

"That one's stubborn. She does not like to sleep. But she's quiet. Just wants to try and figure things out I guess."

Addison smiled and then looked back at the baby.

"A deep thinker, huh? You're my kind of girl, Rose. Just take my advice... stay away from those kinds of boys. Nothing but trouble, those deep-thinking boys."

She stayed with the baby until the McAllisters arrived to give the baby her afternoon bottle. Reminded of the importance of nutrition, Addison left the small family in the nurse's capable hands and headed off in search of something to eat.

Turkey sandwich, milk and two chocolate chip cookies acquired, Addison returned to her office and sat down to make a decent attempt at eating a full meal. She was barely two bites in when a knock sounded at her door.

"Yeah?"

It was a damn good thing she was sitting down, because had Addison been standing when Mark Sloan strolled through the doorway, she was certain she would have dropped where she stood. As it was, her right hand gripped the chair arm to steady her body.

"Hey, Addison."

"What... Mark, what are you doing here?"

He sat down unbidden into one of the chairs opposite her, his eyes staring at her so intently, Addison felt uncomfortable. She cleared her throat and used the excuse of tidying up her plate to look away from him.

"I wanted to see how you were."

Her right eyebrow rose as she glanced back at him. "You mean you wanted to see if you could cause anymore drama in my life with another visit?"

Mark sighed and shook his head.

"I really didn't mean to cause trouble for you. I... I just missed you, Addison. I thought if I showed up and told you how I felt, it would... I just missed you."

She'd been furious with him in the days following his visit, not only because of the hurt he had reawakened between she and Derek but because he'd reminded her of how confused her emotions had been in the months between Derek's leaving and her decision to come to Seattle.

"You didn't really answer my question." Addison made an effort to keep her voice calm. "What are you doing here?"

He was quiet for several long seconds before he answered.

"I came to find out how this story ends. And I'm not leaving until I do."

She was pondering his words and trying to figure out what her response was supposed to be when the last voice she wanted to hear at that moment sounded from the open door.

"Well, it sure as hell didn't take you long, did it?"

Derek was in the office, his body positioned in the space halfway between the front and back halves of the desk, theoretically right between her and Mark.

"The papers are barely filed, and here you are, just waiting to pounce. God, Mark, she left you in New York, she sent you away here. Doesn't that tell you something?"

Mark's eyes shot toward Addison, then he stood and looked at Derek, his face a clear display of confusion.

"What papers?"

Addison felt dizzy and didn't know if it was the baby or the incredibly awkward situation she now found herself in. She closed her eyes a moment, trying to steady her mind and her body. But when Derek did not answer his query, Mark turned his attention back to her.

"What is he talking about, Addison? What papers?"

The room still spinning, Addison parted her eyelids and looked from Derek's angry face to Mark's questioning one.

"Our divorce papers. Derek and I are getting a divorce."

Of all the things she might have expected, Mark laughing was not the reaction she'd have predicted. But he did laugh as his gaze returned to her clearly less than amused soon-to-be ex-husband.

"You never learn, do you, Derek? God, you're an idiot."

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