Some days in a hospital are just longer than others. And today had been a very long, very exhausting day. A major bus accident had littered Seattle Grace with patients, and on top of that drama, Addison had been forced to admit one of her patients when a partial placental abruption left the high-risk mother in too much danger to let the pregnancy continue. Thankfully, the mother and both her twins had survived, but both babies would need a lot of help to make it home in good health.

She was more than ready to shower, change and head home, hopefully to a night of take out and snuggling with her husband on the couch. So that was exactly what she planned to suggest when she found Derek at the board reviewing the surgical schedule.

"Hey, you."

He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Things were good. Mark had come and gone and though they'd definitely felt the impact, they were still together and, more than that, they seemed to have both realized that they could once again have very bad days as a couple and survive them.

"Hey there, Dr. Shepherd," he said, "I was checking to see if you were in an O.R. Happily, you are not."

"I am not. So what's up?"

"I would like to buy you a drink. A bunch of folks are headed to Joe's. You up for it?"

Addison was not really up for it, but she could tell Derek was. He was in a good mood, playful, and he wanted to go have fun. That the fun at Joe's more than likely included Meredith Grey didn't make her anymore anxious to go and probably was adding to his desire to venture across the street and join in. Which stung, she couldn't deny it. But, she reminded herself, her ghost from the past had come strolling into Seattle Grace and Derek had dealt with it. She owed him no less, even if his phantom was very present... every day.

"You know, I could go for a drink, but, um, I'm not quite ready yet, and I want to hit the shower. Why don't you go on over and I'll meet you there?"

He looked at her a beat, unsure, and Addison knew he was more than likely thinking 'she's going to let me go over there with Meredith around without her?'

"You know, I could just... I'll wait for you."

She wanted so much to say yes, wait... but their marriage was never going to stop feeling tenuous if they didn't just start trusting each other.

"It's silly for you to wait," she said. "I'll probably be a good hour. Go, and I'll see you there in a little while."

He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Okay then. I'll see you over there."

Addison watched him walk off toward the locker room. God, she loved him. Sometimes she knew it would've been so much easier if she didn't, if she could've just let him go. But she couldn't, and she wouldn't... not ever.

*****

"Bulls-eye! Pay up, Grey."

Derek watched as Alex Karev strutted over his dart prowess while the young intern waited for Meredith to go back to the bar and buy him another shot of tequila. He remembered that... being so young, so without the baggage that grown-up life weighs you down with.

Turning back to his drink, Derek sipped at the scotch slowly. It was nice to just sit and enjoy himself and the company around him without worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing. And for the first time in a long time, he didn't think that feeling would necessarily end when Addison joined him.

His feelings for his wife remained complicated, but somehow there were more good days than bad lately. Even the horrendous few days after Mark's unexpected and unwanted visit, though painful and lonely for them both, had, in the end, drawn them closer together. After his anger had ebbed, after his pride had settled back down into his gut, Derek remembered the shame in Addison's eyes when he'd forced her to tell the Chief about Mark and who he was. And then he'd remember the glimpse of her face he had caught when he'd said he hadn't forgiven her.

There had been times in the past year when he had wanted to hurt her... set out to hurt her. But there on the elevator, as he'd lashed out at Mark's presumptuous statement, Derek had hurt his wife unintentionally... and the regret he felt over that had led him to take her hand and sit her down and say, "I'm trying to forgive you. Can you let that be enough?"

She had been willing to take what he could give, and for perhaps the first time, Derek had realized just how sorry Addison was for all that had gone wrong between them. And so was he. They talked for hours... about what had happened to both of them after that horrible night in New York... about why they had needed other people... about why they both wanted to try to make it right now.

"Alex, stop cheating!"

Meredith's laughter filtered over to his ears and Derek turned back toward it. Just as he did, Meredith and Cristina plopped down on opposite sides of him.

"Evil Spawn, you are totally cheating!" Cristina yelled.

"Aw, Yang, take being a loser like... a loser."

Alex broke into a ridiculous little dance and everyone laughed, Derek included. He only stopped laughing when his line of sight fell on Meredith. She looked at him questioningly.

"What? I'm not allowed to come have a drink anymore?"

"Sure," she said, "you're allowed. Just... I was wondering... "

"Where my wife is?"

Meredith nodded.

"She's coming over when she finishes up."

"Oh."

He took another sip of his drink. "Does it bother you... to see us together?"

"Sometimes. Does it bother her... to see us together?"

Derek nodded. "Yes. Not as much as it used to, but, yes."

They were silent a moment, their attention back on the dart game and the obvious plot being hatched against Alex by Izzie, George and Cristina, who had returned to the game. Then he felt Meredith's hand on his arm and he caught her intense gaze.

"I thought maybe... seeing him, Mark... it didn't make you... I mean, you're still staying?"

"I'm still staying," he answered.

"Do you know yet?"

He felt his brow furrow. "Know..."

"If you love her or not."

"Ah, that." He paused and thought about it. "I know I remember loving her. I know I like her again... and I know I can finally admit I missed her. And that's where we are."

Meredith opened her mouth to say something, but the sound of the bell ringing at the front door stopped her. Derek shifted his eyes that way expecting to see Addison standing there, but instead he saw three men dressed head to toe in black, masks over their faces...

and guns... three very large, very scary looking guns.

"Everyone by the bar right now!" the shortest man yelled.

The patrons, who numbered about nine all tolled, did as they were ordered. The second man, who was taller and had a much more frightening voice, pointed his gun at Joe, who still stood behind the bar.

"If either one of your hands goes where I can't see it, you die."

Joe nodded.

The tall man remained near the doorway as the other two began taking wallets and jewelry from the bar customers, and then the shorter man went behind the bar to hawk the bartender as he cleared out the register.

"No. Oh, God, turn around."

Derek's voice was barely a whisper, but it had been enough for Meredith to look up at him and then over to where his gaze was directed.

Addison Shepherd was crossing the street and headed for Joe's.

"No," he whispered again. "No, please..."

His eyes flickered to the taller man by the door. The robber was aggressively pointing his gun at the patrons, taunting them, looking for a reason to become violent.

It happened so quickly that nearly every person would have a different account later as they related it to the police. The shorter gunman and his cohort were just finishing up behind the bar and it appeared it would all end peacefully. But then one of them saw something behind the bar that grabbed his attention, slowing him down. When nearly ten seconds passed and the men still made no move to leave, Derek Shepherd called out to the gunman by the door.

"Hey."

The man glared at Derek.

"Hey!"

"What the hell do you want, stupid?"

The gunman moved toward Derek and the surgeon lunged for him, reaching for the hand that held the gun, hoping.

The boom that tore through the bar sent the rest of the patrons ducking for cover. They didn't see Derek double over as the gun fired into his abdomen nor did they realize that the spray of blood that painted the bar was from the exit wound that ripped through his lower back. All they knew was that a gun had fired and the robbers were yelling at one another, fleeing as quickly as possible.

Slowly the interns and nurses and the bar staff got to their feet. And it was George who first saw the blood-soaked attending surgeon laying on the floor.

"Dr. Shep--someone get help!"

Cristina moved next... then Izzie... then Alex. They were all trying to decide what to do next when the door opened and the bell sounded, sending a jolt of panic through them all. Had the gunmen come back?

"D-Derek!"

Addison Shepherd was at her husband's side in a single heartbeat. When Alex and George went to turn him over, she pushed their hands away decisively.

"No! The exit wound is too close to his spine to move him. Karev, get a backboard from the ER and have Bailey page Burke right away. Go!"

Alex ran for the door, George on his heels. Addison's eyes nervously searched the bar.

"Stevens, get towels, cloth, something we can use on the wounds."

Joe quickly found clean towels from behind the bar and gave them to Izzie. She delivered them to her mentor's side.

"Yang, keep pressure on the exit. Stevens, if he tries to move, hold him still."

The interns watched as Addison guided one of the towels beneath her husband's body as she carefully searched for the entry wound, trying desperately not to move him. When Derek groaned, the redhead bit back a sob and leaned her head down toward his.

"It's okay, baby. You're gonna be okay. Just hang on for me. Hang on."

With her hand pressed hard against her husband's body, fighting to keep his blood from flowing out of him, Addison let her eyes once again search the room. When she found the person she was looking for, she yelled out.

"Grey. Meredith!" She added the intern's first name when the blonde failed to heed her first call. Finally, though, Meredith moved over to them and she knelt down beside the small group.

"Talk to him. Just... talk to him, please."

Meredith's mouth fell open slightly as Addison put her attention back to tending her husband's wounds. Then the intern did as she was asked. She leaned down close to Derek and she spoke to him in a whisper as Alex and George returned with the backboard and a gurney, the police on their heels.

"Put the board against his back," Addison commanded. "O'Malley, you'll have to feed me the straps underneath him, just try not to move him."

Agonizing minutes passed and finally Derek was strapped to the board and Addison had deemed it safe to move him.

"I've got the traffic stopped," said one of the officers. "Let's get him across the street."

Addison nodded and stepped aside so that the men could quickly lift the gurney and race it to the ER. She ran after it, her heels clomping on the asphalt. As they burst through the ER doors, Bailey and Burke were waiting. Addison heard herself yelling out medical statistics and the confusion of the ER began to become deafening. Then suddenly she was shut way from Derek--the treatment room doors closed to her.

"Dr. Shepherd? Dr. Shep--Addison?"

Izzie Stevens stood at her side. Addison looked toward her.

"What?"

"Why don't, um... why don't we go get you cleaned up?"

Addison looked at her, unsure what she meant. What did she need to clean up from?

She glanced down and the dark red-brown liquid that had soaked her clothes, her coat, her skin... it registered to her at first as just blood. She was a surgeon... blood was familiar to her.

And then she realized... Derek's blood. This is Derek's blood. This is my husband's...

Her legs buckled. She heard Izzie yelling for help and a moment later, Addison felt herself being picked up and cradled against someone's chest. The last thing she heard before the world temporarily faded to black was the sound of Karev's voice.

"It's okay, Dr. Shepherd, we've got you."

*****

The scrub nurse wasn't surprised at the lineup of million dollar surgeons in the room so much as she was awed by it. The Chief, Preston Burke, Miranda Bailey and two of the top interns in the hospital were all scrubbed in and ready to get to work on the hospital's top neurosurgeon, but first they were carefully studying Derek Shepherd's x-rays.

"My God..." Bailey said. "What kind of gun did they say it was?"

"A 9mm," Yang answered.

The chief shook his head. "Who was it that put him on the backboard?"

"Um, that was, uh, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, sir." O'Malley still seemed rattled, but Bailey had asked him to stay so he could run in and out to update the rest of the group on Derek's condition.

"Damn good thing." Burke pointed to the x-rays and both O'Malley and Yang looked more closely.

"Is there spinal damage?" Cristina asked.

"No." Burke directed the young doctors' gazes near the abdominal artery. "But look at the edge of that fragment."

The chief sighed. "If that had shifted, he would've bled out."

"But it didn't," Bailey pointed out. "And I suggest we don't let all of Addison's hard work go to waste. Let's get this boy back where he belongs."

*****

The locker room was silent and Addison imagined someone was standing sentry outside to make sure she remained undisturbed. She was grateful to whoever had made that happen. The quiet had given her time to calm down and center herself so she could be there for Derek if he needed her.

[i]When he needs you, Addie... when. [/i]

Addison sighed and stood, crossing to the mirror. She had showered and changed into scrubs, her wet hair beginning to dry in natural, wavy curls. This was the way Derek always said he liked her best... no makeup, no hair straightened by the heat of a blow dryer. He was the only person she ever let see her like this. Until now...

"Dr. Shepherd, I thought you might want some water."

Stevens voice brought Addison around on her heel and as the door swung shut, she saw that her earlier theory had been correct. Karev was standing outside the locker room door to keep everyone else out. She smiled and met Izzie halfway, taking the water, then she sat down on the bench.

"Thank you, Stevens. I, uh... really, thanks."

The blonde nodded. "Dr. Bailey said she'd send George out with an update as soon as they had any news."

Addison nodded and sipped at the water. She hadn't noticed how dry her throat was till the cool liquid began to work its way down.

"Do you...do you know why... I mean, how Derek got shot?"

That she'd even just asked a question like that, used those words, sent the redhead's mind spinning. Her husband had been shot... it didn't matter that she saw it on the news, that it happened to people every day... it had happened to her husband, and it seemed unimaginable, still.

"I'm not sure," Stevens answered. "I... we were all so scared, and the one guy had taken everyone's wallets and stuff and it seemed like it was almost over, you know? We were all just hoping it would end without anyone getting hurt, I think. And then suddenly Derek--Dr. Shepherd--he yelled something and then the gun went off and..."

Izzie trailed off and Addison squeezed her eyes shut a moment as she tried to push away the images of what came after "and"... Derek laying on the ground, bleeding.

"Where, um... where were you?" Stevens asked. "I mean, you were there so fast after the gun went off."

"I was almost to the door when I heard the gunshot. I ducked back around the corner and then after the guys ran out, I came in to see if anyone had been hurt."

She didn't say anymore, and Addison doubted that the young intern would've asked her to narrate what it had been like to come through that doorway, to see the love of her life laying in his own blood on the floor of a bar.

Nausea rolled through Addison and she gripped the bench tightly to steady her body. God, when was someone going to tell her how he was?

A knock sounded softly on the door and then it opened. Karev stuck his head in cautiously.

"I'm sorry to bother you guys, but, um, Izzie, the cops are here. Dr. Webber got them to agree to take all of our statements here, and they're looking for you. And, you, Dr. Shepherd, but I wasn't sure..."

Knowing the two interns would wait for her lead, Addison stood and nodded. "Let's, uh, let's go take care of it now. I just, um... Karev, could you do me one favor?"

"Whatever you need."

*****

She had considered going into the gallery, but sanity had overridden that destructive thought. Instead, after finishing her statement to the police, Addison Shepherd had found an empty gurney outside the O.R. and sat down on it to wait, the flannel shirt she'd asked Alex to get from Derek's locker in her grasp. The faint scents of her husband's cologne and his shampoo lay in the fabric, and after she inhaled the fragrances, she pulled the warm plaid shirt on over her scrubs.

George O'Malley had come out twice to tell her how the surgery was progressing. When he'd told her about the bullet fragment, Addison's heart had pounded in her chest.

Several times, the other nurses and doctors who had been at Joe's came by to check on her. None of them could tell her anymore about how Derek had come to be fighting for his life, only that they were all praying for him.

Then finally Richard Webber exited the operating room, and he walked over to her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders.

"He's gonna be okay, Addie. Burke and Bailey are closing him up, and then... he's gonna okay."

And now hours later, Addison had surrendered her position next to her husband's I.C.U. bed so that the nurses could tend to him without her underfoot, but she was no more than a few feet away on the waiting room sofa, biding her time until she could go back to his bedside.

She hadn't seen Meredith Grey in hours, and Addison nearly jumped when her rival sat down in the chair opposite her.

"Dr. Bailey said he's doing really well."

Addison nodded. "He is."

She wanted to chase her away, to tell her she didn't belong, but she knew this woman had meant... did mean... something to Derek. And because tonight her husband had almost died and Addison was too grateful to be petty, she glanced toward his room and then back at Meredith.

"If you want to see him, um, the nurses will be done in a minute."

The small smile the intern gave her was unexpected.

"No. I... I came to see you."

Silence fell as Addison stared at the younger woman, wondering what this moment was about. Then Meredith sighed.

"Why did you ask me to talk to him? At the bar... why me?"

"I..." Addison took a moment because it hurt to say even if it was true. "I wanted him to have something to hold on to. Someone he knew that he would..."

She stopped. That was as honest as she could be because no matter how much she believed she and Derek could survive and could have a happy marriage again, Meredith would always hurt her the same way she knew Mark would always hurt her husband.

"It's not that he loves you more than me," Meredith said suddenly. "Or that I ever thought he didn't love you. Because I know he loves us both. It's just different."

Addison nodded. No reason to argue the obvious.

"It's just... I mean, I knew he loved you... I just didn't, 'know,' you know? And now I do because... that's why he got shot. You were coming toward the bar and he saw you, and... all he could think about was how to keep you from being hurt. He didn't think about himself. He was thinking about you."

"I don't... about me?"

"You were coming and the man at the door... Derek must have been sure he would shoot you." Meredith paused a moment, the scene replaying in her head, bringing tears forth. "So he... he tried to distract the gunman and... and that's when he got shot."

And now she knew... Addison knew why her husband had suffered and been left to fight for his life... because he'd saved hers.

"And you love him," Meredith continued. "You were so scared. I could see it on your face the second you saw him. But you... all you could think about was him. And I finally just saw it... your marriage... and it's... it's worth fighting for. I see it now... why you both couldn't let go."

Tears burned at Addison's eyes, not because of who was saying the words but because of the words themselves. Her marriage... their marriage... it had been worth fighting for, worth saving. It was.

"So... I'm letting go." Meredith stood. "I'm moving on... and I know it's just... how it's supposed to be."

As she turned to leave, Meredith's hand waved past Addison. Instinctively, the older woman grabbed hold of it and the younger stopped and looked down at her.

"I'll tell him you were here."

Meredith nodded. "I'd like it if you would."

They looked at each other another moment, and then Meredith walked away and Addison stood and wiped her tears and went back into the hospital room to her right... back to Derek.

*****

[i]"It's okay, baby. You're gonna be okay. Just hang on for me. Hang on."[/i]

Addie's voice. He'd heard it and despite the pain burning in his gut, Derek had felt relief. She was all right.

But then her voice had gone away, and he'd felt more pain as hands moved over him, trying to help him, to save him. But all he could think about was, where was she? Had he moved too late? Had the man shot her anyway? Was she hurt? Did she need him?

[i]"Addison's right here, Derek. Okay?"[/i]

Meredith's voice... and she was telling him Addie was there.

[i]"She's taking care of you. You just have to hold on and let her."[/i]

Again he felt relief... Addison was all right. If she was taking care of him, then she was all right, and he knew Meredith wouldn't say it if it weren't true. And so Derek surrendered to his body's demand that he sleep and save his energy... because now he knew that his wife was okay.

But finally, the urge to wake was there, nudging at him, drawing him back to the land of the beeping monitors and uncomfortable tubing laying across his chest.

"Addie."

He could barely say her name, which told him that trying to do more than that now was a bad idea. So Derek lay still and hoped he'd actually said her name out loud and hadn't just dreamed that he had.

"Hey... I'm right here, baby."

Her fingers grazed his cheek and Derek forced his eyes open.

"You're really okay."

She smiled and nodded. "Thanks to you. You're really okay, too. Or you will be."

"I... I thought I was gonna lose you."

Her laugh was soft. "[i]You[/i] thought you were gonna lose [i]me[/i]?"

He grinned, pleased that he could make her laugh even now. Then he let his eyes fall shut, the effort to do otherwise too great for him just then.

"You'll stay?"

One curly lock of her hair tickled his skin as Addison leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly. When her fingers followed, touching lightly against his skin, he felt flannel brush against him as well.

"I'll stay. And, Derek... I love you."

*****

He'd have felt like a cliché if it weren't for the fact that his realization had been months in coming and had really been cemented for him not by his own brush with death, but with hers.

Derek rolled over onto his side and watched the soft rise and fall of Addison's chest as she slept, his thoughts centered on her. There were things in this life he could take. Had he lost Addison because she'd never come to Seattle, never tried to set things right, he could have lived with that. Had they tried and failed, Derek knew a part of his heart would have always belonged to her, but they both would have survived and moved on.

But in that moment when Derek had realized there was a chance of a world with no Addison in it, everything in him had rebelled. And that's when he knew that somehow, even had they divorced and not seen each other for years after the night their marriage had unraveled, someday they would have mended their relationship. Friends, maybe. Maybe just two people who cared about one another and saw each other occasionally. Maybe they'd have gotten divorced, loved other people, and then found each other again later. He wasn't sure what the outcome could have been, he just knew that Addison would have always been part of his life. Because she was his life. And it really all just came down to that simple fact.

He had been restless in his own skin in New York, ready to move on, to face new challenges, and uncertain how to tell his wife, how to make her see it was about him and not her. So he had shut her out. He had to own that, and now he did. A part of him would never understand why she had turned to Mark instead of grabbing him, shaking him and demanding his attention. Pride maybe. Or maybe the hurt had just been too deep for her to see past it. But not understanding didn't mean he couldn't forgive her.

He'd said he was trying to after Mark had come to town. But Derek had forgiven her by the time he'd said it. He realized he had when the hurt on her face at hearing him say he had not was more difficult for him to stomach than his anger at her. He hadn't realized that then, of course. But three weeks of recovering from a gunshot wound gave you time to think about the dots that had connected in your own mind when you weren't looking.

Like the day last week when he had been sitting on the porch watching Addison and Bailey play in the grass with the baby while Tucker and he shared a beer on the porch. It was just a nice day... two couples hanging out, sharing laughs and stories. And he loved seeing Addison just be herself with no worries about what the gossips at the hospital might think. Then Doc had tackled her and Addison had laughed hysterically, then chased the dog back into the trailer, making Derek laugh till he cried. And Derek realized he was happy. Just happy--no qualifiers or "except fors" anywhere in sight.

Smiling, Derek leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Addison's shoulder. When she didn't stir, he repeated the process a half dozen times until she sighed in her sleep.

Encouraged, he eased closer to her and let his fingers touch down lightly on her arm. He drew lazy circles on her wrist and then carried the motion up her forearm, up over her bicep and then he grazed over where his kisses had touched her shoulder earlier. Another sigh... this one more purr-like.

Derek knew he was close to achieving his goal. He chuckled as he leaned even closer to her, puckered his lips and blew a slow, warm stream of breath over her collarbone.

Addison whispered his name as her eyes fluttered open.

"Two years of courtship, eleven years of marriage, and the breath on the collarbone thing still never fails."

She laughed and playfully slapped at his chest. "I was having a lovely dream, you know. So you better have woken me up for a good reason."

She laughed again as his smile widened and he winked at her. Then Addison opened her arms to him and Derek moved, settling his weight against her.

"Are you sure you're up for this, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Don't worry, I'm gonna make you do all the work," came his reply.

They laughed together this time.

"Also... there was something I wanted to tell you."

"Well..." Addison lifted her head and gave him a quick kiss. "You have my full attention."

Derek let his hands caress her face. The tenderness of his touch seemed to shift their mood... the playful edge evaporating as a far deeper and more emotional sensation overcame them both.

"I wanted to tell you... that I love you, Addison."

He was grateful for the faint smile that played over her lips. It told him the tears that started to fall from her eyes were happy ones.

"That's the first time... the first time you've said it since..."

Derek nodded. "I know. But not the last, I promise. This time, I won't forget to say it."

She told him again how much she loved him, and he knew he believed her. Then Derek lost himself in his wife and in the second chance they had finally claimed as their own.

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