Author's Note: This is a birthay fic in honor of my friend Sue, otherwise known as Sexis4ever.



The Present

Time had always seemed like an enemy, even when he was a child. The time passed since he'd last seen his father, since he'd been living in hell with Deke, since he'd seen his mother smile, since he'd been happy. Things had not improved over the years. Time had proven to be nothing but a reminder of broken dreams and opportunities missed to Sonny, and he had come to hate it.

But now, tonight, he wished for it. He was praying for it. More time. Give us more time.

It seemed arrogant in the extreme to ask for more time given how much they had both wasted on pride and anger and miscommunication. But they couldn't fix the damage without time. He couldn't fix anything, not without her.

Eight months ago, it seemed a lifetime wouldn't be enough to bring them together with so much as a civil word to spare. And then, out of nowhere, she had called. And to his own shock and amazement, he had come.



Yesterday

Alexis leaned back against the arm of the couch, stretching as she tried to get comfortable even though she knew it was useless. She felt like crap. That's how she felt every day and yet she was still strangely grateful for it - at least she felt something. After tomorrow, who knew. After tomorrow...

She closed her eyes as tears threatened again. This day seemed both like one that would never end and one that was speeding past her, and she wanted it both gone and eternal. The waiting was killing her. That thought made her laugh. Waiting wasn't the only thing trying to snuff her out. Her hand rose to her chest as she rubbed the skin above where her heart struggled to continue pumping blood through her chest.

How many days had she felt something, some strange twinge or shortness of breath and ignored it? Fear, of course, had kept her in denial. Nothing could be wrong. Not when she had her baby on the way, and certainly not since her gorgeous daughter had been born - there couldn't be anything wrong with her.

Denial. Absolute, total and costly.

The doctors were certain the tumor they'd found in her heart had probably doubled in size in the months she had wasted, and now today, this day, might be the last she ever had.

Thinking about that, about leaving her daughter, snapped the dam of tears she had so recently fought back, and they unleashed upon her in a torrent.

Julia - her sweet, heavenly little girl. Even through the tears, Alexis smiled just thinking about her. From the day in February when she was born to this day three months later, Alexis' life had been filled with a joy she had never even dreamed. The damning diagnosis, a benign, but dangerous cardiac tumor, had dampened her spirits but not the intense state of bliss that was Julia. Despite it all, the growing weakness, the increasing discomfort, Alexis saw in Julia all there was to live for, and so she kept fighting.

That struggle for survival had meant a lot of things to her. She had resigned from the District Attorney's office after having fought so bitterly for the position. She had closed her law practice, instead spending the time she did feel good with her baby girl. She had also faced her demons - every last one of them - knowing that fighting to live did not alleviate her of the responsibility of preparing to die. She had to know what path she wanted her daughter to be on if she weren't there to guide her through it, and that meant deciding who she could trust with Julia's life.

There were so many people in her life that she loved and who loved her, but a fairly quick examination of them left Alexis facing a sad truth - none of them, not Jax, not Nikolas, and certainly not Ned - would tell Julia Kristian the truth about who she was someday. And from the moment she'd first held the baby in her arms, Alexis had known that Julia must know who she was.

It wasn't just that she looked so much like Sonny - attributes most people credited to Ned, but that were all Sonny - the dark hair, the sly smile - it was that she was Sonny. Julia's soul was his - Alexis could see it in her eyes, and that realization had made it clear that father and daughter were not meant to be separated, not forever.

For the present, it had seemed the best course. Sonny had learned that he was the baby's father in one of Carly's jealous snits and come demanding his rights. One forged paternity test later, he had slunk off with his tail between his legs, and the once close friendship between then was even more damaged than it had been before. They hadn't spoken once since the results had come back. It pained Alexis to think about all they had lost in the last year. It pained her further to know she alone knew what they had gained.

Guilt started to eat away at her from that first moment in the hospital. It was the driving force behind her daughter's name, even if no one else knew it. She had given a list of reasons why she'd chosen Julia - a woman she knew growing up, a character in a book she loved, she even mentioned having heard it on a soap opera somewhere back in college, but the truth was it was the first tiny remembrance of her father that Alexis had given the little girl.

Julia, for Juliet, for the father who had once watched Romeo and Juliet through his mother's eyes and had a moment of joy as profound as what Alexis knew their baby had given her.

Her guilt was also the thing that finally drove she and Ned apart. Letting Ned pretend to be Julia's father on paper was one thing, but when his "daddy" act had become real and he started referring to himself as Daddy while he held the baby, Alexis had snapped. No man could call himself Julia's father but her father; she couldn't allow it. Ned had been furious, they had fought, and he had since kept his distance from mother and child. He wouldn't even have known she was having surgery tomorrow if Jax hadn't told him.

Alexis knew that Ned assumed he would be taking care of Julia in her absence, and she knew that he also thought he would be "inheriting" her daughter were she to die in surgery. Alexis knew better.

Mustering her strength, Alexis stood and walked to the desk. She fingered the thick envelope filled with legal papers that bore Sonny's name across its front. A small, peaceful coo filled the air over the baby monitor, and Alexis smiled. It was time.

Sonny answered the phone on the first ring.

"Yeah."

"Sonny...it's, it's Alexis."

Pause.

"Is, uh, is everything all right?"

Pause.

"No, Sonny it isn't. There's, there are some things we need to talk about, and we need to do it tonight. Can you come over here?"

There were a million reasons he could have said no. That's how far apart they had drifted - two people who had refused each other nothing now felt as if they were imposing on each other if they even thought to ask a question.

"I'm on my way."

Alexis let out a deep sigh as she hung up the phone. Well, little one, she thought. That's that. Time for the truth...and the consequences.

Julia began to whimper, and Alexis knew that meant the baby was about to wake up. She had already sent the nanny home for the night since she needed privacy for what she was about to do. So, turning, Alexis began to head toward the nursery. She picked up the envelope for Sonny, intending to toss it on the couch so it would be there when she needed it.

She took two steps before her heart seized in pain. Her hand flew to her chest as if she could somehow stop the onslaught with its touch. Five, six, seven seconds of pain, and then she dropped to the floor, the envelope falling beside her. She didn't hear Julia scream as she fell.

Sonny arrived at Alexis' door, his ears immediately picking up on the sound of a baby crying. Hell, it was beyond crying. The kid was wailing.

"Alexis," he called, knocking on the door.

No response.

"Alexis, it's Sonny," he called again, knocking harder.

Still no response.

Sonny knew it had been a long time since he had been around Alexis and longer still since he could call her his friend. But he knew her well enough to know that if that was her baby screaming, she wouldn't be ignoring it, not unless something was wrong.

The door practically exploded off its hinges when Sonny made impact, a rush of fear and concern driving his compact but well-muscled body forward. His eyes immediately fell on Alexis where she lay on the floor. Sonny rushed forward, turning her over as gently as he could.

"Alexis? Alexis, what is it, what happened?"

She was conscious again, but the pain had kept her from moving. Alexis opened her eyes looking at Sonny, seeing his worried face.

"The baby," she croaked. "Check the baby."

"Alexis, the baby's just upset. What happened to you?"

She closed her eyes and swallowed. "I'm sick. Please, Sonny...get her."

Sonny didn't want to leave her, but the baby's screams were clearly only upsetting her more. The layout of the apartment wasn't familiar to him, but it wasn't a large place, and Sonny found the baby's room with relative ease. He walked up to her crib and found her kicking her legs and flailing her arms in a rage, tears streaming down her tiny face.

"Hey, hey, little one, it's okay. Everything's gonna be okay."

He picked the infant up and cradled her in his arms. She calmed instantly, her curious eyes looking up at his face, taking in this new person who had entered her world.

"Let's go take care of your mama, okay?"

Sonny walked back out into the living room with the baby in his arms. He was smiling at her, trying to reassure her, but his smile faded when he saw that Alexis was unconscious again. Careful not to jostle the baby, he rushed to the phone and dialed 9-1-1. After barking orders into the phone Sonny hung up and moved back to Alexis' side as he tried to rouse her and soothe the baby simultaneously.

The paramedics arrived 10 minutes later, and as they cared for Alexis, Sonny's eyes scanned the room. He was going to the hospital, there was no doubt about that, and he had to keep the baby with him as there was no one else around. He spied the necessary diaper bag and baby carrier near the fireplace, and as he snapped the baby into the carrier, he picked up the bag and turned to see the paramedics were now ready to go. He nodded, following them toward the door. Only as he was pulling it closed did he see the large envelope on the ground, his eye stopping on his name written in Alexis' handwriting on the front. Instinctively, he picked it up, shoved it in the diaper bag, and made his exit.

In the hour that followed, Sonny learned that when Alexis had said, "I'm sick," she hadn't been exaggerating. Monica Quartermaine filled him in on her illness and on the impending surgery the next day. Monica had wanted Alexis in the hospital, but the stubborn attorney had insisted she had something she had to take care of and had been scheduled to check in first thing in the morning. They were waiting for tests to come back to determine if Alexis could still have surgery as planned or if it would have to wait.

Stunned, Sonny sank down into one of the cardiac intensive care waiting room chairs and looked over at the little girl who was sleeping peacefully in her carrier. Julia - he knew that's what Alexis had named her. She was beautiful. Not that he was surprised, given who her mother was, but truly, she was just - beautiful seemed the only word for it. Little tearstains were still on her cheeks from her earlier crying fit, though, and Sonny couldn't stand to see them. He reached into the diaper bag and found a soft cloth to wipe the moisture from her face.

As he went to replace the cloth, his hand hit the envelope he had seen on the floor of Alexis' apartment. He stared at it for more than five minutes, his brain wondering if this was what she had called him about. God, his first though had been should I go. Imagine if he hadn't - she would still by laying there, Julia's cries going unheeded and...

No, he couldn't even imagine the "and". Alexis was going to be okay. She was the strongest, most stubborn woman he had ever known. Nothing was going to beat her, he knew it.

To distract himself he tore open the envelope. A letter addressed to him in Alexis' handwriting sat on top of the stack. He put that aside a moment as he began to thumb through the rest of the papers. Two pages in, his eyes and his brain began to register what they were seeing.

A birth certificate, trust documents, personal photos and mementos, but it was the last documents that put a lump into his throat...an affidavit signed by Alexis stating that Julia Kristian Davis was the biological child of Alexis Davis and Michael Corinthos Jr.

Sonny nearly dropped the rest of the papers as he read his name on the final document over and over again. Mine...he thought...she's mine.

His eyes moved from the document to the little girl beside him. Julia - his daughter. He started to laugh and cry all at the same time, his emotions far too strong for him to be worried about what anyone else might see.

This was why she had called him. Alexis had called him to give him back his...their child. She had called him to tell him the truth.

Quickly Sonny remembered the letter and he moved back through the papers searching for it. He realized he had put it on the chair beside the baby's seat, and he retrieved it trying not to mangle the contents as he tore it open excitedly.

"Dear Sonny,

So, now you know the truth. I don't know as I'm writing this whether we fought when I told you or whether we just both realized what a miracle our little girl was and let the past go. I would guess, knowing us, that it was the first then maybe our brains kicked in and the later took over. I hope so.

If you're reading this letter, though, then despite my best efforts, I didn't manage to beat this damn tumor. Just writing it, knowing it's possible I might have to leave her, I want to scream so loud, Sonny, and tell whoever is listening how unfair they're being. My whole life I wait to know what it's like to love someone this much, and now to lose it so quickly...

Sonny, I want you to know, in case we fought more than we talked, that I always, always knew you would love our child. I knew that she would be a gift to you. I let my fears and my doubts and even my anger get in the way of that, and I'm sorry. We all deserved better.

It probably seems insane to everyone else that I'm entrusting Julia Kristian to you after the lengths I went to in order to keep her parentage a secret. But you see, I've realized that without you, she'll never know who she is. And I don't just mean what her last name really is or where her genetics come from. Without you, she won't have anyone to tell her why she rambles till she passes out or why she's afraid of small spaces or why she'll either be able to cook like a cordon bleu chef or burn water if she goes near the kitchen. No one will tell her the truth about how wounded her mother and father both were, but how she healed them. They'll all want to hide that from her, make her world perfect. Only you know better, you know there's no such thing as perfect, there's just life. You will give her the truth of who she is so she's strong enough to face the life that's in front of her.

And I know that no matter how you feel about me right now, you'll always tell her how much I loved her, and how much I wished I could be with her always.

Take care of our daughter, Sonny, and know that as I write this letter that despite everything, as I did on the night our baby was created, I love you with all my heart.

Alexis.

p.s. take her to see Romeo and Juliet when she's old enough."

Sonny closed his eyes against the sting of tears that burned in them. Julia - now he knew where the name came from. As he sat there, a whirlwind of the images from the past three years played out in his mind, his life, their life, flashing before him. They had wasted so much time.

"Sonny."

Monica's voice broke him from his thoughts and he stood up, the letter still held in his hand.

"The tests were good. We'll go ahead and operate as scheduled tomorrow. You can go in and see her if you like."

Sonny somehow voiced a thank you and then he turned and looked down at Julia. Despite all the emotions he was feeling, the baby brought a smile to his face. As if she felt his gaze, she opened her eyes and yawned as her little dark brown eyes locked with his.

"Hi, sweetheart. It's nice to meet you."

It would have been easy for Sonny to get lost in his newfound daughter, but he had other responsibilities just now to her mother, and the chief one was making sure her wishes were honored and that she was being well taken care of. A quick phone call to Jason brought his trusted friend to the hospital. Jason seemed less than surprised by the revelation of Julia's paternity, and he agreed to take the baby home and stay with her until Sonny returned. Sonny had no doubts his child was in good hands. He remembered Jason's care of Michael as a baby - Julia would be just fine until he could return to her.

With the baby out of the way of all the hospital commotion, Sonny started toward Alexis' room. His movement was stopped by the sound of Ned's voice coming from behind him.

"Where the hell is my daughter, Corinthos?"

Sonny turned and looked at Ned. The Quartermaine heir was furious.

"Monica says you have her. Where is Julia? Where is my child?"

Strolling forward, Sonny put his hands on his hips and flashed his grin at Ned.

"You mean my child, don't you Ned?"

"Forgotten those paternity tests, Sonny?"

"No, no, I didn't Ned. Funny thing is though, paternity tests or not, we both know Julia is mine, and more importantly, Alexis is the one that told me that."

"Where is my daughter?" Ned said, practically growling with fury.

"My daughter," Sonny barked, "is somewhere safe, just like Alexis knew she would be."

"No woman is safe with you. You destroy everything. You killed Alexis' spirit and you'll do the same thing to that little girl."

Sonny smiled as he saw the pure rage mixed with insecurity that radiated off of Ned. The man wasn't worth his anger, not now when he needed his energies elsewhere.

"You can't stand it, can you? She always chooses me, doesn't she, Ned? She chose being my friend and my lawyer over being your wife, and now, when she's facing losing her life, she chose me for our daughter instead of you. She chose me, Ashton."

Sonny turned and walked toward Alexis' door. He was just about to push it open when another memory assaulted him.

"Would you choose me?"

He had asked her that on that night - on the night when Julia was made. And only now, in retrospect, could he see how many times she had chosen him. What he'd said to Ned was true - Alexis had chosen him, over Ned, over her family, over her friends, and he hadn't even seen it. Tonight, she had chosen him once again.

He walked into the room and saw her laying in the bed, her face pale, her hands resting atop her stomach. She looked toward him and smiled weakly as he walked over and sat down in the chair beside her.

"Sonny," she started, her voice sounding tired, "I need to tell you..."

"I know, Alexis. I read the letter."

She squinted, looking at him as if she didn't quite understand what he meant. Then she remembered that Monica had told her Sonny found her and brought her in. He must have found the packet of papers at the apartment and looked through them. Nodding, she turned her head so her eyes stared up at the ceiling.

"Please don't hate me too much."

Sonny felt his throat tighten. "Alexis, I could never hate you. Be angry as hell at you, yeah, but we'll save that for when you're feeling better."

She smiled despite herself. "Oh, such the gentleman."

And a smile cracked Sonny's face, too. "I try."

They sat there, together after so long, in an easy, companionable silence. Alexis knew he knew her heart - he had read the letter. And Sonny, knowing it, knew that the world awaited them if only tomorrow brought good news.

"Sonny, do you know the one thing I would change if I could?"

He smiled, and leaned forward. She looked over at him, her eyes finding his.

"There's so many things we both did wrong, Alexis, I don't know if I could narrow it down."

"I do. That night at the bluff. They were looking for Carly and you were there and your hand was on the railing. I put my next to it and I just let barely let my hand touch yours."

Sonny nodded. "I remember."

"If I could do it over, I would take your hand and hold on to it, and I would have never let go. That's the one thing I wish I could do over."

Sonny saw her tears start to fall as his own began. He reached out and took hold of her hand, pulling it to his face. He kissed her palm and then clasped her hand tightly between his own.

"Hold on now, Alexis. Hold on now and don't let go."






The Present

She had sent him home. Alexis wanted him home with Julia so that the baby was in her own surroundings. He wanted to fight, but he hadn't. She was, as always, more concerned with everyone else than she was with herself. Some things never changed.

But he wanted other things to change. He wanted to watch Julia grow up with Alexis beside him. He wanted them to laugh together again. He wanted her to know that he understood now that what he'd wanted wasn't the easy, known-quantity life Carly had offered, but the hard and yet precious version Alexis was the key to.

He wanted a chance.

When the phone rang, he felt his heart tighten in his chest. Unable to bear the idea that it was bad news, he let it ring as he walked over and picked Julia up out of her swing and pulled her close. She smiled up at him and snuggled into his chest as he moved toward the desk.

"Hello?"

"Sonny, it's Monica."

Silence.

"She did it, Sonny. She got through the surgery. Alexis is coming home."





The Future

Alexis heard Julia's remarkable giggle and she peered up from her law book to see Sonny holding their three-year old daughter in the air as he flew her around like an airborne stunt plane.

She thought about scolding them, but held her tongue. They were supposed to be getting ready for Julia's third birthday party. Instead, they were making a bigger mess for Alexis to have to clean up before the guests arrived, their acrobatics tossing crepe paper and balloons in all directions. Still, she didn't have the heart to interrupt their fun.

She turned a page in her book and laughed when she saw a rather wrinkled piece of paper smudged with chocolate waiting there for her. She picked it up and looked down at the wacky penmanship of her little girl.

"Wish Liss"

While Julia could talk like a devil, read like a first-grader and understood words well, her spelling was atrocious. Oh, well, Alexis thought, something to work on. We can't have her be too smart.

1. Pupee
2. Unikorn
3. Brudder

Alexis smiled as she deciphered the rather cryptic words on the sheet. Perhaps Julia was already too smart for them, after all. Because while the unicorn might be hard to come by, the rather adorable Sharpei puppy that Uncle Jason had been hiding at his house, and the little plastic test upstairs that had revealed two blue lines in the window this morning were going to give one birthday girl two out of three of her "wish list" items.

Standing, Alexis walked over and looked out at Sonny and Julia. Julia was now riding on Sonny's back as they twisted yet more crepe paper around the yard. As she watched them and she thought about the little boy or girl growing inside her, about the sheer incredible fortune life had brought to her after so much pain, Alexis realized her own wish list had been fulfilled except for one thing, one impossible dream she knew was out of reach.

She never wanted any of it to end.

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