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This chapter here is Miss Ro's birthday fic -- and dude, you don't even KNOW what I went through to get you this -- so here's
hoping you enjoy it. Happy Birthday!
"Please don't go," she called out, but Alexis was talking to air. Lorenzo had already rushed out of the front
door, the large piece of ornate wood standing open in his wake. Still she moved through the entry and stared after where
he had gone--down the walkway and out toward the garage.
"Ms. Davis?"
The warm but worried tone of Nano's voice sparked an immediate and intense realization in Alexis. She had someone to
go to for help, someone who had known him longer, who might understand what had driven him out of the house.
"I had to tell him something terrible, Nano. Something about Luis. He's... He shouldn't be alone right now and
he said... he said he couldn't have 'this' in our home."
Almost every interaction Alexis had shared with this man since coming to live in the Alcazar compound had been utterly
professional and dictated solely by his duty as the head of security. Almost. Except for the few times he slipped into the
comfortable mantle of Lorenzo's best friend and had given her some small insight into the man she had come to love so dearly.
Now she saw that slight change in Nano, the relaxation in his shoulders despite the obvious tension in the situation,
the softening of his eyes. He came closer and reached out so that his hand fell gently on her right shoulder.
"Lorenzo's anger can take him to a very dark place. He wouldn't want you to see that."
Alexis nodded. That didn't surprise her, but it also didn't begin to push down the sense of worry and panic she was feeling.
"Will you... "
He didn't even need her to finish asking. Nano shook his head, squeezed her shoulder slightly and then stepped back.
"I know where he'll go. I promise, I won't let anything happen to him."
She watched a second man rush through the door and this time, Alexis closed it after him, her body idly resting against
the cool frame as her eyes closed.
"You were right to tell me," he had said. "But I don't... I can't have this here, not in our home."
Alexis knew Lorenzo meant it and that it was true; she had been right to tell him. But seeing something inside him die
right in front of her eyes had been devastating, and if the pain of watching it was that great, she couldn't even imagine
what feeling it was doing to him.
Exhaustion drew her toward the living room, their empty room holding no appeal for her until Lorenzo was back home to
give it warmth again. Alexis sank down on the couch and wrapped her arms around her body in an effort to shake off the chill
that she had felt inside ever since Renata had shattered her peaceful morning in Venezuela with his dark words and terrifying
plans.
There had been no mistaking that Lorenzo knew something was wrong from the moment she and Renata had returned to the house.
His eyes had reassured her that he was there to protect her, but a deep sadness had taken hold of Alexis as she climbed the
stairs knowing she might not be able to protect him in return. But she could be honest with him. Perhaps not all at once...
but she would hold nothing back in the end.
Proving how well he knew her, Lorenzo hadn't peppered her with questions after Renata and Mancuso's departure. Instead
he had allowed her to be alone with her thoughts, trusting she would come to him when she was ready. They had packed in relative
silence, their only real conversation coming when Alexis had phoned home to check on Kristina and she had called Lorenzo to
the phone after the little girl had demanded to speak with "my Zo."
Finally, they had been on the plane, airborne, the dreaded trip over. After speaking with the pilots for a few minutes,
Lorenzo had come to sit beside her on the sofa before he took her hand, his fingers lacing through hers. Alexis had leaned
into him, hopeful that the warmth of his body would chase away the cold, frightened feeling inside her. Instead, a sudden
burst of turbulence had sent Alexis' stomach rolling, and though she didn't get sick, the reminder of the fragile life inside
of her, the little boy who needed his father, cemented Alexis' resolve to give Lorenzo the parts of the story she was now
free to give.
[I]"I need to tell you something... something that happened this morning."
Alexis eased away from his body as she spoke, though she left their hands joined. Lorenzo looked at her solemnly and
nodded.
"I had a feeling. Renata?"
"His decision to join me on my walk this morning was clearly quite calculated--and obviously about one thing and
only one thing--convincing me to do whatever it takes to get you on his team."
Lorenzo looked at her quizzically. "On his team? I thought I already was."
She shook her head. "He's not talking about one deal, Enzo. He's talking about your life... your soul. And he's
deadly serious."
Alexis let her voice fall silent as Lorenzo took in the little bit she had told him. He shifted beside her, his body
turning to study her as she spoke.
"What exactly did he say to you?"
"He wants you to be his face in the world. Basically, were this project you two are working on to be as successful
as he expects, Renata knows he can't freely go around the world to take the jobs and broker the deals that will come his way.
He needs you for that."
True shock rocked through Lorenzo; Alexis could see it on his face. His hand idly brushed against his bearded chin as
he mulled over this new information.
"He's convinced I'd be a part of this?"
Alexis shook her head. "Not entirely. Which is why he spoke to me. It seems he and..." She cut herself off
before speaking Luis' name, suddenly fearful she might say too much before having all the facts gathered on that very difficult
topic. "Renata has it in his head that this life... this whole depraved world... is your destiny. But he thinks you're
afraid to embrace it fully. And if I don't convince you to do it--"
His body tensed immediately and Lorenzo now took hold of both her hands, his eyes burning blue with intensity.
"Did he threaten you?" he asked, his voice strained by a mixture of fear and anger.
"He threatened you through me," Alexis admitted. "He made it clear he would come after you, though he
didn't specify what that meant, if I didn't get you to see the wisdom of his plan for you future."
For a long beat, Lorenzo sat stunned by her revelation. Then he stood, pacing across the cabin of the plane, his hand
rubbing at the back of his neck.
"I know that we've made it nearly impossible for Renata to navigate the world at will, but this doesn't make sense
to me. His power base is large enough for him to make allowances for that if he's expanding."
Alexis stood now and she crossed to stand beside him. "I think you've done more damage than you realize. He said
something about not wanting to take from you what he could share with you. That's the kind of thing Stefan would call a show
of weakness."
Lorenzo nodded. "He gave me a firm timeline for our project while you were upstairs getting ready, and it's sooner
than I expected. Much sooner. That makes more sense to me if he needs the fireworks from that to generate more contracts
and more capital."
She was relieved. The information seemed to be helpful to him, and though she still regretted the chance she had taken,
Alexis was grateful at least that it had been worthwhile.
"The man is insane, Lorenzo. If I hadn't known that just on what you told me... I mean, he's very cool, very smart.
But listening to him rant about who he thinks you are... it made me sick to my stomach."
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," he said, his voice gentle now as his arms wrapped around her. Alexis
leaned into him, taking what comfort she could. The unspoken bit of her morning still weighed upon her, but she bit down
the unease and soaked in the reassurance Lorenzo's embrace gave her.
"Nicolo was determined to keep me from coming to find you this morning, so you're right, the conversation was planned.
But I'm surprised Renata would say all of that in front of Colin. He's not normally so careless."
Alexis closed her eyes and snuggled more firmly against Lorenzo's chest. She had nearly forgotten there were actually
two things she hadn't told him yet.
"Actually... he didn't."
She pulled back from him and saw the unasked question on his face. Stalling no more, Alexis confessed her broken promise.
"It was obvious he wanted to tell me something that might be important, and, Lorenzo, I did refuse at first to speak
to him alone, but--"
"At first?"
The decided change in his tone was hard to miss. Though he didn't raise his voice, Lorenzo's displeasure was very apparent.
"I made it clear I wouldn't dismiss Colin, but Renata kept prodding, and I was worried I was going to miss a chance
to help you."
"Alexis..."
She cut him off before his exasperated statement of her name turned into a lecture.
"I know. I know that I promised you I would not talk to him alone, but, Sweetheart, I honestly thought at the time
it was the right thing to do. Colin was only a few feet away and I told him to come and get me if Renata didn't let me walk
back to him in a few minutes, and--"
His movement was so fast that Alexis barely noticed any change in his position before she was flush against Lorenzo's
body, her arms held gently but firmly behind her back at the wrists, her ability to move against him nearly completely nonexistent.
"A few feet, a few minutes..." his eyes blazed now, the blue orbs nearly clear as he fought against his sudden
flash of anger. "This man could've killed you before Colin could take a step, as quickly as I made you helpless just
now. He could've hurt you for no other reason than to see how I would react. Do you understand that, Alexis?"
The first flicker of his emotions, the feeling of being restrained by him had set Alexis' fight or flight reflex into
action, but she quickly stamped down the overpowering desire to war with him. Lorenzo wasn't trying to intimidate her or
hurt her. She could hear that in his voice. What she had told him had sent her lover into a panic. It was painfully evident
how intense his fear for her was, how absolutely paralyzed he was by the thought that he might somehow be the reason tragedy
befell her.
"Renata is not Sonny Corinthos or Jason Morgan. He will kill without warning and he does not make idle threats.
I..." Lorenzo's voice broke and Alexis felt tears burn at her eyes. "I don't want to scare you, but I need you
to... God, Alexis, you have to understand this. You have to know what this man is capable of."
Years of grief resurfaced inside of him then, and Lorenzo's arms fell weakly away from her body, freeing Alexis' hands.
She immediately drew him against her in a hold doubly as fierce as the one she had just been held within.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I took the risk, and I swear to you, I will never do it again."
She could feel his breath against her neck as he turned his face into her, his hands rising to grip against her back.
"Please... if I lost you, I couldn't... please, Alexis."
"You won't lose me," she promised. "I saw who he was. And I know that I can't make the same mistake again.
I promise you, Lorenzo, it will never happen again."[/I]
They had held each other nearly the entire trip home after that, even in sleep as the emotional and intellectual strain
of the past few days finally took its toll on them. Alexis had woken first, an hour still between them and Port Charles.
She had lain there, staring at his face, the turmoil he was feeling so obvious even as he tried to rest. It seemed so desperately
unfair to her that a man capable of such love and such concern for others might have been hurt so deeply by someone he loved
so much. And Alexis knew that his understanding of her actions with Luis on that fateful night at the Port Charles Hotel
did not mean he hadn't loved his brother. As she watched him sleep, she had said one final silent prayer that Renata was
trying to play some sort of game with them and that Luis was only the weapon he was using.
Their return home had distracted them both from the events in Venezuela momentarily, the bounty of toddler affection Kristina
lavished upon them a welcome and much needed balm to their hearts. The curly-haired moppet had tried very hard to act horribly
put out by their absence, though Alexis had already heard from Alice how much Kristina had enjoyed her time with both her
uncle Stefan and her daddy.
Alexis was further grateful that her brother had mercifully picked up on her silent plea to ask no questions when he obviously
picked up on the tension in both she and Lorenzo. His nod of acquiescence, she knew, was only temporary. Stefan was coming
to accept her commitment to Lorenzo, but she knew any hint of trouble would set him on edge. She knew the day was fast approaching
when she would probably have to lie to her brother to protect her love, and though that thought pained her, Alexis took comfort
in knowing that when Lorenzo's double life was over, she would be able to take Stefan fully into her confidence and make him
see how amazing a man he really was.
While Kristina was basking in Lorenzo's undivided attention as she showed him the numerous pictures she had drawn while
they were away, Alexis had seized the opportunity and gone in search of Hector. The driver had been in the main security
building joking with some of the other guards. It had struck no one as unusual for her to call him away to discuss a potential
change in Kristina's car seat and whether or not it would work in the car they normally used, and Hector had followed her
quietly out to the garage where Alexis was certain they could be alone.
[I]"I need to see him," she said, knowing a name wasn't required. "It's urgent."
"I'll contact him right away. Is there an errand you can use for cover?"[/I]
Alexis had formulated one on the spot, and when Hector had sought her out two hours later, she had told Lorenzo that she
needed to run to the pharmacy to pick up a new bottle of prenatal vitamins because she had left her original bottle in South
America. When she had claimed she was too tired to drive herself, Lorenzo had almost insisted on going for her, but finally,
Hector had "volunteered" to drive her as he passed through the living room, and Lorenzo had agreed to have dinner
with Kristina while Alexis ran her errand.
Robert Scorpio had opened the door to his warehouse hideout the moment the garage door had rolled down after the limo's
entry.
[I]"Hector said it was urgent." His Aussie twang was touched by his obvious concern about what had happened
to warrant her requesting a meeting with him. Alexis nodded and Robert gave her his hand to steady her as she stepped into
the warehouse. Hector remained in the garage as Scorpio shut the door behind them.
"Why don't you sit down?"
She followed his hand with her eyes and moved to the chair he was indicating. Truly exhausted and feeling a little shaky
from her nerves, Alexis took the offered seat and gripped her purse with her hands as she tried to prepare herself for whatever
answer Robert gave to her question.
"Alexis, did something happen in Venezuela? Is Lorenzo all right?"
"He's all right... for the moment," she answered. "But something did happen. Renata said something to
me and I need you to tell me... I need you to tell me what the truth is."
Robert's eyes narrowed. "If I have the answer, it's yours."
There was a plainspoken, brutally honest sense to the way he made the declaration, and Alexis believed him. And so she
took a deep breath, and asked.
"Did Luis hire Renata to kill Sophie?"
The man across from her stared blankly for a moment before his lids fell to shield his eyes. Then he let out a long sigh.
"Yes, Alexis. He did."
She was powerless to stop the tears his answer brought to her, and Alexis dropped her face into her hands and simply let
the sobs overtake her as Robert told her all that he knew about Luis' actions. Dear God... what kind of man would do such
a thing to his own brother?
But now she knew that her beliefs about Luis Alcazar had been true. Lorenzo's affection for his brother had made her
think perhaps there was something human in him. But Luis had been a monster... a creature not fit to share breath or blood
with someone with as much humanity as his brother.
"Why didn't you tell him, Robert? How could you keep that from him?"
Her tear-blurred vision didn't mask the regret that came over the legendary WSB agent as her questions reached inside
of him and scored a direct hit upon his heart. His shoulders slumped and like the man Lorenzo and Mac and Luke had always
spoken of him to be, Robert Scorpio looked her dead in the eye and told her the truth.
"When this all started, Lorenzo was a means to an end to me. Telling him the about Luis might have taken his focus
off of Renata, and I needed his full attention on taking that bastard down.
"Later... later I just didn't know how to look my friend in the eye and tell him that his brother had done something
so terrible, and I honestly didn't want to face him knowing that I had known all along."
It was brutal and direct and Alexis knew, wholly honest. It didn't change how horrified she was, but it did give some
insight into why Lorenzo had put so much faith in this man. He owned his mistakes. That was a damn rare quality, and she
admired him for it even if, this time, his mistake was going to have painful consequences for her family.
"You know that I have to tell him," she said, her body and her emotions calmer now that the truth had made her
course clear. "I won't be another person who keeps secrets from him. Just holding onto this in order to find out the
truth from you... I'm sorry, Robert, but I have to tell him."
Scorpio nodded. "I know you do. I'm sorry that it has to be you. If you want me to--"
She shook her head. "No. Now that I know, I think it should come from me."
"Then I won't interfere."
Alexis composed herself and prepared to go home and sit by Lorenzo's side and read stories with Kristina before they put
the little girl to bed. And then she knew it would be time for the truth. She was at the door about to step out into the
garage when Robert spoke one more time.
"Please tell him I'm sorry."[/I]
But Lorenzo hadn't given her the chance to tell him anything but the sad facts. The moment he had heard her tale, he
had gone white and he had cut off his emotions completely. His voice had been flat and even as he had spoken to her.
[I]"You were right to tell me, but I don't… I can't have this here, not in our home."[/I]
Alexis turned her face into the couch as the memory of how broken he had looked tore at her heart. She understood why
he'd had to leave her, but she wanted so much to find him and hold him and somehow see him through this. But she also knew
that this was a time for her to have faith in him, in his ability to find his way home to her and Kristina and their precious
little baby.
Even if he was shaken to his core right now, Alexis would have that faith. And she would be here waiting, no matter how
long it took.
*****
The door slammed behind him, the dark of the room receding slowly as his eyes adjusted. Lorenzo took in the scattered
objects in the space, memorizing their placement because the lack of light suited his mood and he had no immediate plans to
brighten his surroundings.
Before he had ever looked at a photo of the Port Charles compound, weeks before he had set a date for his planned arrival
in town, Lorenzo had sent Nano ahead to find this room. One similar to it was a few miles from his home in Venezuela, off
the property, held in a name that could not be traced back to him. Another lay hidden in Barcelona near his European apartment.
Two large mats covered the floor. A heavy bag hung in one corner. Large pads with handles lay tossed around the perimeter.
Practice weapons made of varying woods hung in racks along the walls.
Lorenzo absorbed the layout and then he pulled at his jacket and shirt, tossing the expensive fabric aside without care
where it fell. He kicked his shoes in the same general direction as the clothing, again unconcerned with what happened to
them. Free of the garments that would've restrained his movement, Lorenzo then moved across the makeshift dojo, sidestepping
any obstacles on the floor. When he reached the heavy bag, he stopped.
There were gloves and tape less than two yards away in the equipment locker, but Lorenzo did not move to get them. Instead
he stared at the bag, fixating on it like it was the man who tormented him.
A crack sounded through the dojo as Lorenzo slammed his right fist into the bag. His left followed. Right again, then
left, a rhythm building as his hands alternated contact with the vinyl. His skin began to sting from the biting impact, but
Lorenzo ignored that, increasing his pace, trying to beat the demon that was rearing its head inside of him.
[I]"I know that you love him, Lorenzo, and I know he's your brother, but you cannot trust Luis. You've told me as
much, you just won't say the words out loud."[/I]
Sophie's voice echoed in his head and Lorenzo hit the bag harder, the sudden slick wetness against his skin something
he could easily ignore. The memories of that last day in London with Sophie were harder to push away.
He remembered his reaction when she had said those words to him. "You've told me as much..." He'd been in absolute
denial of that fact. They had fought bitterly when she began to list for him the times he had verbalized his doubts about
his brother and about whether he was someone he could trust the way he wanted to.
[I]"You know he uses your mother to manipulate you, you know that he lies to get you alone so he can try to shake
your surety about your future. Lorenzo, these are things you've said to me. I'm not making them up."
"I never denied saying them, but you're twisting it all around."
"What about the fight at the dojo? Am I twisting that around or did you forget that he attacked you because you
had the gall to be your own man?"[/I]
For years now, he had forgotten the details of that fight and instead focused on the fact that they had managed to make
peace and had parted at the airport full of love for each other and hope for their future. The terrible and brutal incident
to come had been a random event that destroyed that future and changed the course of Lorenzo's life. That's how he had always
looked at it. That's what he had always believed.
The years invested in the destruction of the man he held responsible for Sophie's murder had taken over his existence
and dominated his actions. They had led him into hell, they had forced him to bear witness to acts of cruelty and inhumanity
so vile that he grew sick just thinking of them. And it had all come together in the living room of the Alcazar family compound
as Renata and Mancuso had handed him the key Lorenzo had long been waiting for.
In all the years that he'd been pursuing Renata, that he'd been living this double life, no single 48-hour period had
been as excruciating as the one he had spent in his family home with a man he hated and the woman he loved. The realization
that he could not keep Alexis away from the situation, the flashes of his nightmarish visions of what might happen to her
if he made a mistake and the reality of seeing the woman he loved in the same room with two soulless murderers had left Lorenzo
feeling like he was suffocating.
He had watched their interactions carefully, trying to figure out once and for all what Renata's real interest in Alexis
was. He simply did not buy that it was solely about her business abilities, brilliant as she was. But he'd also been aware
that could be his own fear and history speaking. He couldn't see Antonio Renata as anything more than a cold-blooded murderer.
Giving him the human ability to be intrigued by Alexis'mind or even entranced by her beauty wasn't something Lorenzo felt
capable of.
After dinner that first day, Alexis had excused herself to go upstairs and rest. The men had then all moved to the private
airfield Lorenzo used to move his merchandise. Renata inspected the shipment, turned over payment for the guns, and Mancuso
alerted a team of men he had stationed in town to come and travel with the weapons to their new disbursement location. The
deal was done, Renata was happy, and Lorenzo had hoped he'd announce he was leaving first thing in the morning.
[I]"I'd like to discuss some of the details of the AG project with you. We have a timetable."[/I]
There was no way to say no to that, and Lorenzo had agreed to a morning meeting on the subject. Before, he'd almost hoped
for more time to get the setup in place, but now all he wanted was for Renata to give him a date so the WSB could put a team
in place and arrest him on terrorism charges with enough proof to destroy the bastard once and for all.
Alexis had been asleep when he got home, for which he was grateful. It had been obvious to him after dinner that she
was exhausted, but she had stuck it out until Lorenzo had suggested the men move on with their business. He had been disappointed,
though, to wake up without her the next morning, finding instead a note that said she was feeling a little sick and thought
some fresh air would help so she was going for a walk on the grounds.
He had risen and dressed and headed downstairs to find Nicolo Mancuso alone in the living room sipping coffee.
[I] "Nicolo, good morning."
"Good morning."
Moving to where Estella had setup the coffee service, Lorenzo poured himself a cup, then joined his guest.
"Is Antonio still upstairs?" he asked.
"Actually, he was anxious to see more of the grounds and Ms. Davis was going out for a walk, so he tagged along."
He couldn't react. Lorenzo knew that. But an icy feeling raced through his body.
"Well, then I guess the meeting waits until his return."
Mancuso's piercing blue eyes locked on him, and Lorenzo called upon every trick he knew to hide his apprehension as the
man spoke.
"It really never gets to you? You never find yourself staring at her thinking, 'that's the woman who murdered my
brother'?"
"Of course it does," Lorenzo lied, knowing that he had to give the answer his persona would give, not the one
he, as a man, truly believed. "Alexis is a charming, intelligent woman, and there is much benefit to our arrangement.
But she's also fully aware that I had the power to take her life in retribution and chose not to. It keeps things... balanced
in my favor."[/I]
Mancuso had gotten a hearty laugh out of Lorenzo's statement, but it put a knot in his stomach to joke about such a thing,
even if it was to keep her safe. And then Alexis and Renata had returned and he had caught the flash of upset in her eyes
even as she tried to keep her cool Cassadine exterior in place. Everything in Lorenzo had wanted to follow her upstairs and
make sure she was all right, but again, the man had to give way to the operative doing his job. He had resigned himself to
being glad that Alexis was safe and instead turned his attention to the details of the AG Project.
[I]"I've spoken with Daoud," Renata said, referencing their Taliban client. "They want to move soon.
He's decided against going with the revised scheme your men suggested."
Lorenzo only nodded, but silently, he celebrated. Though the complicated ideas that Hirsch and Zachary had proposed did
in fact constitute a plan with a higher chance of success, Daoud was rushing, which meant he, too, was feeling pressure, and
Renata seemed to be willing to move along too quickly as well. It wouldn't be nearly so surprising then when the operation
failed, and faulty planning and a rushed time table would both be easy to point to as reasons why.
"The date will be June 17th. A U.N. delegation is scheduled to participate in a ceremony with the new Afghan government.
And so it seems our schedule is set."[/I]
The insanity of the idea still amazed Lorenzo. These men were certain they could destroy the Afghan capital, the new
government and kill a host of U.N. officials and get away with it. And he knew that his reaction to it all was all about
that boundary within him that his brother had never shared. Luis would've been giddy over Renata's plans, eager to prove
he could pull it off no matter the cost to the world. For Lorenzo, it was a nightmare he just wanted to get out of... and
soon.
Thinking over how he and Robert would put their final plans for Renata into place had kept Lorenzo from questioning Alexis
too deeply as they prepared to head home to Port Charles, though it had been obvious that she was troubled by something.
Only once they had taken off that had she finally told him about the morning just passed and the strange encounter with his
nemesis.
The delusions of grandeur the man suffered from were fascinating to Lorenzo. The confirmation that his efforts had made
Renata vulnerable to the point that he was actively seeking a partnership was a bit of a boost. It had taken years and the
patient pecking of a small bird against a large tree, but finally--finally--significant progress had been made and the bastard
was showing his hand. It had also given him an answer as to why Antonio had wanted Alexis here in the first place. The move
made sense on the most basic of levels--if Alexis was merely his partner and lover and there was no emotional tie, she would
have no problem working him over to get him on board with Renata's plan. If Alexis was more important to Lorenzo than that,
the implied threat of using Alexis to get to him had been made.
But the realization that Alexis had been alone with a man capable of the kind of bloodthirstiness Lorenzo knew Renata
to have... it had torn open the carefully capped fears that his past and his nightmares never stopped fueling.
[I]"Colin was only a few feet away and I told him to come and get me if Renata didn't let me walk back to him in
a few minutes, and--"[/I]
The words had nearly stopped Lorenzo's heart from taking another beat. Only a few feet away? A few minutes? He had
sat at a table with this man as Renata casually nodded to Nicolo to kill a human being during lunch and she was talking about
distance and time as if it would keep her safe?
He was still slightly ashamed by his response. For a moment, Lorenzo had seen fear in Alexis' eyes as he'd grabbed her
and pulled her against him--and it had been fear of him. But as his words had come tumbling out, she seemed to understand
and had even comforted him as he tried to make her see what just a second of unguarded time around pure evil could cost her.
What he had not said, though it had been there, was what it would cost him. The words had begun to come out, but Lorenzo
had choked them back down, not wanting to burden her with the responsibility of his wholeness. But he knew without question
that were anything to happen to Alexis or to their children, it would be the end of him. Nothing, not even revenge, would
be enough to save him. That thought had still been there in his mind when they returned home to Kristina's elated and joyful
welcome. It had been there as the little beauty showed off her artwork to him and as he held her in his lap to read her a
story before bath time and dinner. He had so very much to lose if it all went wrong... but he had to keep the faith that
it would all be all right. His enemy had fallen for his disguise and given Lorenzo his trust. His vendetta would finally
be settled, justice would be done and the past could finally be left in the past where it belonged.
[I]"There was one more thing Renata said to me, and I had to know what the truth was before I told you. And now
I know."[/I]
Alexis had come home from her errand and asked him to come upstairs with her. They had been sitting at the bottom of
their bed, facing each other, and Lorenzo had noted the shaking in her hands and the tear stains on her cheeks.
[I]"The truth about what, Alexis? Sweetheart, I can see that this is upsetting you, so please just tell me."
"He... he said something to me about Sophie... about what happened."
Tension flooded Lorenzo's body. That bastard had discussed Sophie with Alexis? He had placed even more of that horror
on her shoulders?
"I asked Robert if it was true... and, God, Lorenzo, I'm sorry, but he said it is. And I wish so much that I didn't
have to tell you this..."
Lorenzo's tension morphed into alarm. Alexis was trying not to cry and her shoulders were slumped as if she were hoping
to sink into herself... whatever she had to tell him was tearing her heart out, and he realized she was afraid it would do
the same to him.
"Just tell me."
She lifted her right hand and set it against his cheek for a moment, her touch sending a burst of warmth into him. And
then chilling cold descended over his heart.
"Renata didn't randomly happen upon Sophie and the other aid workers. He... he was sent there, Lorenzo. Luis sent
him there... to kill her."
Alexis kept talking, filling in what details she had, but his mind was filing those facts away for another time. Instead,
his being was focusing on shutting down, on closing off the channels his betrayal and anger and outrage wanted to travel...
at least until he was away from her, until he was sure that he couldn't hurt Alexis with the burning hatred he felt tearing
across his gut. His safeguards in place, but strained to their limits, Lorenzo stood and started toward the door even as
Alexis' voice continued to fill his ears. She stopped speaking as he reached the door.
"You were right to tell me," he said. "But I don't... I can't have this here, not in our home."[/I]
He had moved down the stairs and felt her following, but Lorenzo knew he could not stop or give into her pleas. He had
to get away from what he loved before his control slipped away from him and he did or said something he would regret. It
was all too possible. He had done it before and it was why he had set up the dojos near all his homes. When he reached this
place, he had to be alone -- he had to fight his demons by himself.
"You son of a bitch!"
Lorenzo screamed and pulled his now reddened hands away from the heavy bag as he whirled around and landed what would
have been a lethal kick were his opponent a real man. He kicked again as Luis' smirking, self-satisfied face flashed through
his memory.
'I won,' he imagined the face saying. 'I used your love against you and I made you the man I wanted you to be.'
"No!"
More kicks, more punches. His hands were bleeding, but Lorenzo couldn't feel anything but the disgusting hatred he needed
to purge. Only his memories made the hate stronger... his memories of Luis' false brotherly concern, of the comforting hugs
as Lorenzo had collapsed in grief over Sophie. Even then, he had known somewhere inside of him that Luis wasn't really sorry
she was dead, but he had never imagined... he had never thought that his own brother...
[I]"I know that you love him, Lorenzo, and I know he's your brother, but you cannot trust Luis. You've told me as
much, you just won't say the words out loud."[/I]
Lorenzo screamed out in pure rage as he spun on the bag over and over again, his feet pounding against it as he landed
kick after kick and his hands tearing open more as his fists landed on the vinyl repeatedly. He kept striking and kicking
and screaming, but instead of dissipating, the anger seemed to just grow more intense.
The better part of a decade of his life had been spent seeking vengeance against a man he held solely responsible for
the destruction of that life, of his dreams. Renata had taken Sophie from him, Renata had stolen the future they had planned.
But Renata had only been the instrument of destruction. Sophie's killer had been Luis. Sophie had died by his own brother's
words.
"Enzo, enough!"
Lorenzo's fists slammed rapid fire against the bag another three times before the voice registered and he stepped back.
Half the lights in the dojo came on, and he saw Nano standing near the doorway.
"Enough."
His legs and arms were shaking from both exhaustion and the rush of adrenaline still pumping through his body. Lorenzo
nodded at his friend and let himself drop down to the mat below him, his legs folding as he sat staring down at his bloody
hands. A minute later, Nano sat beside him and opened a medical kit. He took an antiseptic cloth and began to wipe away
the blood on Lorenzo's knuckles.
"When you came home, when you decided to join the family business, I was disappointed."
Nano's voice was calm and even; the voice of the friend he had done silly boyhood things with, not the loyal employee
who protected house and home with his life. Lorenzo heard the honesty and the warmth of that voice despite the darkness that
still clung to his mind, soul and heart.
"You were always a better man than Luis, Enzo. You were a better man than your father. You are a better man than
me. I never understood why you would take on a life I knew you didn't believe in. But I trusted you enough to know that
you had your reasons... and so I stayed with the family and stayed at your side."
Nano interrupted himself to stop and take gauze and tape from the medical kit. He then began to cover the deeper wounds
on Lorenzo's hands.
"I don't know what Alexis told you. I don't need to know unless you want to tell me," he continued. "But
I do know this... you are still a better man than all of them, then all of us. Because still, even when you are in this much
pain, you love more than you hate. You loved your family too much to let them see you hate. That, my friend, is why I will
never leave you to fight alone. That man will always be my friend, even if I don't understand the choices he makes."
Nano placed a final strip of tape over Lorenzo's left hand and then he began to put the supplies back into the medical
kit. Lorenzo let his eyes drop down to his hands, to the damage he had caused and the care his friend had given his wounds.
In a way, that was the story of their life together. Whatever hurts he endured, self-inflicted or from outside, personal
or in business, Nano was there to help him mend and move on.
It was the kind of behavior a man should be able to expect from his brother. Only for Lorenzo, no matter how he tried
to reframe it, that had never been the case. The Luis he had grieved over had been an illusion. Sophie had been right...
he had been unwilling to admit then what he had always known in some corner of his heart. His brother had not been his friend
or someone he could trust. His brother had...
"Luis arranged for Sophie's murder."
Lorenzo let the words leave his mouth and watched as Nano's eyes widened with shock for a moment before he nodded, his
face now showing little but acceptance.
"I'm sorry, Enzo, truly."
He did not respond to his friend's condolences. He was still fighting the demon, only more quietly now, on the inside
where it tried to slash at him with taunts about how he had wasted his life chasing the wrong monster.
"You have no idea... no clue what this has cost me."
Nano scoffed, and Lorenzo eyed him coldly.
"Don't I? Lorenzo, I know better than anyone what Sophie's death cost you. That it was at Luis' hands only makes
it more tragic, it doesn't change the rest. I watched you surrender your life to a cause unworthy of you, knowing I was powerless
to say anything that might save you from your hatred."
"All of my choices were made because of that day!"
"And all of your choices now can be made because of this day," Nano declared. "Because now you have the
truth. Luis' actions no longer dictate yours."
The two men stared at each other as what Nano was saying took root inside of Lorenzo. Luis had set him on this path,
but Lorenzo had not done as his brother expected. The façade of Lorenzo Alcazar--that was what everyone had believed was
his true reaction. But it was not--and even all those years ago, in the death grip of his mourning, Lorenzo has chosen a
different path, a better one. The cost had been unimaginable, but he had not become the man Luis wanted. That had to matter
for something.
"It must have hurt Alexis a great deal to have to tell you that."
Nano's voice drew Lorenzo's attention back to him.
"It broke her heart. But Alexis will always tell me the truth. It's a gift I'm not sure I appreciated enough until
now."
"She must have been tempted to keep it from you and try to protect you," Nano mused. "But that's not who
you are together. There's too much respect between you for that."
Lorenzo knew his friend was right. And he knew that it was about respect and about knowing the other person and trust…
deep, absolute trust. Even now, after finding out about Luis' treachery, that trust remained unshaken and unbroken. And
Lorenzo was reminded that even before Alexis, he had shared that trust with another. He knew as he acknowledged that fact
that the demon he'd come here to drive away had been defeated. Lorenzo would not run from what he loved in fear…
he would stand and fight and he would be the man he had chosen to be.
"Nano, there's something I need to tell you. About me... about what I've been doing."
Three hours later, the two men stood and embraced, friends united in purpose and freed by the truth to be even more supportive
to one another than they had been. Lorenzo then pulled himself back together and let his friend drive him home... back to
the family he now felt fit to return to.
Alexis was curled up on the couch, no doubt asleep against her will. He knew she'd probably fought to stay awake, but
her pregnancy and the stress of the past few days had made it a losing battle. He smiled as he knelt down beside the sofa
and dropped a soft kiss on her forehead. Alexis sprang awake at his touch, and after she blinked twice to make sure he was
real and kneeling before her, she threw her arms around his neck.
"Enzo... oh, God, I was so worried."
"I know," he whispered, his arms wrapping around her. "I'm sorry if I scared you. I just needed to...
I didn't want you to see me like that."
"I know," she whispered back. "And it's okay. I'm just so glad you're home."
Lorenzo pulled back from her and offered her his hand. She looked down and saw the bandages and her eyes flashed to him
with a look of panic, but he shook his head.
"I'm fine. Nothing permanent, I promise."
Alexis looked at him doubtfully, but she gingerly took the offered hand, and they made their way to the stairs they had
run down separately hours earlier and walked hand in hand up to their room. They were barely seated before Alexis leaned
into him, their foreheads touching as she let her hand fall to the back of his neck.
"I couldn't hide that from you."
"I know. I know you couldn't."
"Nano said he knew where you'd go, and I didn't want you to be alone. Was I right to send him?"
He smiled and broke their contact with one another so she could see his face completely.
"You were absolutely right. I remembered tonight that I've always had another brother... a true brother... who's
only ever tried to help me and protect me. The way a brother should."
Alexis' hands came to his face. "He loves you so much. I'm so grateful that you have him in your life."
Lorenzo pressed her left palm against his cheek as his fingers caressed the skin at her wrist. "He said the same
thing about you."
She laughed, and the small sound broke the tension that was hanging in the room. She could see that he was going to survive
this latest blow as he had survived all the others. He doubted, though, that she knew how much she was the reason he would
make it through.
"Nano also told me to remember that every single thing that's happened to me, even the unthinkable, is what led me
to you. It's very hard to feel regret for any of it when I think that I might never have found you otherwise."
Tears glistened in her eyes and now she smiled at him. "I know what you mean. I can't imagine changing anything,
even the worst, if it meant I wouldn't be here with you, if it meant our son wasn't going to be born."
"Luis tried to destroy everything in me that was good and decent when he killed Sophie." The pain of that truth
brought moisture to his own blue orbs, but Lorenzo forged on. "But something sent Robert into my life, somehow instead
of becoming the man Luis and Renata thought I should be, I became this man. And flawed as I might be, I thank God for that."
Alexis leaned in and kissed him gently once on his lips. "Believe me, so do I."
Lorenzo drew her hands into his own and held them in a light grip, his thumbs moving back and forth over her soft skin.
"I told Nano the truth tonight, Alexis. The whole truth."
She looked at him with concern. "What did he say?"
"He was relieved. He said he'd been disappointed in me when I chose this life, but he'd believed I had my reasons.
Now he understands them. And he's ready to help me do the most important thing I have to do in this world -- and that's keep
you and Kristina and Gabriel safe, no matter what. I know I can trust him to do that, always."
Alexis nodded. "And you can trust Robert, too, Enzo. I know you might doubt that, but he could've lied to me tonight,
he could've tried to talk me out of telling you, and he didn't do any of that. He was straight with me and he admitted he
was wrong to hide it from you."
Lorenzo sighed. "I think I understand why Robert did what he did. We'll work that out, don't worry. We've come
too far together not to see this through to the end."
She leaned against him, her arms now wrapping around him, her cheek nuzzling against his. "I love you so much."
His arms moved to return her embrace. "Knowing that saved my soul tonight. Never, never doubt that."
Their mouths found one another and Lorenzo let himself drink in the taste of her. Alexis returned his kisses with the
same emotion; passion the wrong word for it. This was beyond a flaming of desire between lovers. They were true mates who
had just walked through yet another treacherous bit of fire together and had come out stronger, more committed than when they
had begun.
It was, they both knew, love in its truest sense. They kept seeing each other through the hardest of times--her with
Sonny, him as he tried to settle his past--and instead of becoming afraid or running for cover, they found a deeper need to
comfort and support and fight for each other at every turn. They had found something magical -- and no one, not a ghost from
their past nor the enemies of their present could touch it unless they let them.
Alexis drew away from him and slowly leaned back on the bed. Then she reached up and opened her arms to him. Lorenzo
dipped his head and placed a kiss against her right wrist, just at the pulse, and then he eased himself down beside her.
They turned so they were laying on their sides facing one another, their legs entwined, their arms again pulling them together.
They kissed and they held each other and over a long, lazy time fingers worked buttons and zippers and eased fabric from bodies
and still they lay facing each other, the closeness between them emotionally as real as their physical connection.
When their bodies truly joined, despite the very real want of each other they felt, they remained unhurried, their movements
slow and expressive in a way frenzied passion couldn't be. When their eyes weren't closed against a surge of pleasure or
an overwhelming emotion, they were locked together, each seeing all they needed in another person staring back at them.
Their release startled them both, the intensity ripping through them. Alexis' nails dug into his shoulders and Lorenzo
balled his hands into her hair. And still, even now with their physical needs sated, they stayed close together, his body
wrapped around hers as they lay in the quiet, content that for now, the only truth that really mattered was that the love
between them remained unbroken.
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