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Alexis had just opened what she was planning to be her last box of unpacking for the evening. It was late and she was tired,
and damn it, she would have been done hours ago if Jason and the specter of Sonny hadn't yet again intruded on her life.
"Sorry, little one, I know I should try not have mean thoughts about him, but I have to tell you, your daddy is on
my last nerve right now. If he asks me to help him or his so-called wife or his friends one more time, I really think I'm
going to scream."
But help she had, and now she was wondering why it was, that despite her best intentions, she just couldn't cut Sonny
out of her life. Was it guilt about not telling him the truth regarding their child, or was she just that hopelessly in love
with him that even knowing how dangerous he could be, after having it shoved in her face by Zander's beating, she still wanted
to save him from himself?
Her thoughts were cut off by the knocking, make that pounding, on her front door. Alexis sighed, looked at the unpacking
knowing she wouldn't get any more done tonight, and then crossed to the door. A quick check of the peephole revealed who
this visitor to her new home was, and she took a deep breath to steady herself before she opened the door. 'Here we go again,'
she thought.
"Sonny, it's a little late, don't you think? And in case Jason didn't give you the message, I'm done. Today was
it."
Alexis took a step back as Sonny, looking none to amused, pushed passed her and entered her house. She shut the door,
wondering what had caused this particular implosion, and turned toward him.
"What's wrong? What's happened now?"
Sonny looked around her living room for a moment, his eyes surveying the place. He kept his back to her as he began to
speak.
"Nice place. You think you'll be happy here?"
Alexis crossed her arms then walked a few steps closer to him. So, he was going to bob and weave. So be it.
"I think so, yes."
He turned and looked at her then, his eyes focusing on her so intently that Alexis felt the need to shield herself from
his scrutiny. She looked away and ran her hands through her hair.
"Do you think our baby will be? And don't try to lie to me and tell me it isn't mine because we both know you can't
lie, though you can, apparently keep secrets."
Alexis' mouth dropped open, but for the moment, there was no other reaction. Oh, my god, her mind screamed, how did he
find out? Carly -- but no, she wouldn't have told. She had too much to lose. Ned would never tell. Had he finally figured
out who Dr. Bonds really was to her? No, she thought, shaking her head, don't think about this now, Alexis. He knows. What
you do and say next could dictate how peaceful or turbulent your child's future is. Focus.
"I wasn't planning to lie to you." There, she thought. That was the truth. Lying hadn't really entered her
thoughts. Just evading.
"Were you going to tell me?" The accusatory tone in Sonny's voice struck too close to home for Alexis, reminding
her of her own duplicity. But it also made her angry, and for the first time since Zander had burst into Sonny's penthouse
that morning, Alexis couldn't hold the anger back.
"I did try to tell you, a few times, in fact, but you've been a little preoccupied and obsessed with Carly and your
mob war to notice anything else going on around you, Sonny."
Again, the words just spoken stung, but this time it was Sonny who felt the burn. She had tried...he could remember her
trying. But he'd always let something else, namely Carly, pull him away. Still, he hadn't expected this, not from her.
Alexis the truthful didn't hide things, not from him, and it was making his stomach clench to think that things between them
had deteriorated so badly that she would do so now. His defenses rose, and his hackles were manned. Without knowing he was
doing so, Sonny declared war on his best friend. He threw the first salvo.
"You could have kept trying."
"I stopped being sure I wanted to."
"What made you think you had the right to decide that?"
Alexis narrowed her eyes and walked past Sonny toward the fireplace. "Oh, I don't know, Sonny, maybe it was you having
Zander beaten senseless for making a mistake, maybe it was you lying to me flat out when I asked you about all the trouble
going on. Maybe it was the utter gall you had in asking me to help that vicious little witch after all the things she's said
to me and done to me. Take your pick."
The tension in Sonny's body escalated. Something inside of him was screaming "step back", but he didn't listen.
"You knew who I was, Alexis, you knew that when you became my lawyer, when you became my friend, and you sure as hell
knew it when you climbed into my bed."
The slap hit his face before Sonny even saw it coming. Alexis' eyes were blazing with fury as he righted his body and
looked at her.
"Don't you dare talk to me like I'm some whore you picked up on the waterfront. I didn't climb into your bed, Sonny,
of course, since that night seems to have meant nothing to you at all, so maybe your memories of it are a little fuzzy."
"I remember that I put you ahead of my business, Alexis. I chose you over everything that was important to me."
"Everything except Carly."
"Oh, so that's it? You were going to punish me for going back to Carly by keeping my child from me?"
"I wasn't trying to punish you for anything, I was trying to protect my baby."
"From me? From it's father?"
"Yes, because the truth is, Sonny, I don't know who you are, not anymore. I know who I thought you were, who I hoped
you were. But I don't know the man who just shuts his eyes to every ridiculous lie that comes out of Carly's mouth, and I
don't know the man who could do to Zander, someone he claimed to love, what you did. And while I certainly knew who you were
when I 'climbed into you bed,'" Alexis said snidely, "I don't know this man who just turned his back on me and walked
away like I never even mattered to him."
"I tried to talk to you, Alexis," Sonny said, screaming louder than he had meant to. "How many times was
I supposed to get pushed away and told not to bring it up before I stopped trying?"
"And what was I supposed to do, look you in the eye, knowing you were in love with another woman and say, 'no, Sonny,
it wasn't just a roll in the hay, the fact is, I'm in love with you, I have been for months, and I would rather die than see
you go back to Carly?' Was that it? I was supposed to rip what was left of my heart out and hand it to you so you could
destroy the shreds you'd missed?"
"This isn't about Carly. You keeping our child from me isn't about Carly!"
"Oh, it sure as hell is," Alexis said, her body shaking from the anger she felt, "but not for the reasons
you think, and the fact that you don't see it just proves my point about your blindness. After your life, after what you've
heard about mine, how could you think for one minute that I want my baby exposed to a woman who hates me as much as Carly
does? I've seen Helena in action through one childhood already, and I will not stand by and watch her successor torment my
baby."
"Carly would never..." but Sonny stopped himself, knowing that argument would have to wait, "I would never
let anyone hurt our child, Alexis."
"How are you going to stop it? Are you going to watch Carly every second of every day? Are you going to put 20
guards around the baby for its whole life to make sure that another Roscoe or Sorel doesn't come along and gun her down just
to prove a point to you? How are you going to protect this baby, Sonny?"
"I don't know!" He yelled, his words honest even as he wanted to deny them.
"Well, there you have it. Mystery solved."
Sonny leveled his eyes and glared hard at Alexis. He wanted so much to stop this and just tell her how happy he was that
she was going to be the mother of his child, but he couldn't seem to stop being angry. He wasn't even sure what he was angry
about, but he just was and he wanted someone to pay for it.
"So, what, you think my kid growing up surrounded by Cassadines is safe? You think that the little prince isn't
above hurting an innocent person to get what he wants, because I'm here to tell you, Alexis, I know better. Ask my sister,
ask Elizabeth Webber. And Helena? Did you forget about her? The kid might be in less danger from my enemies than from yours."
The minute the words left his mouth, Sonny regretted them, but they were out. Alexis stood up straighter, her face an
absolute mask of rage and hurt.
"Get out of my house."
"Alexis..." Sonny said, trying to regain some kind of peace between them.
"Get out!"
Sonny turned and took a few steps toward the door, but he stopped, his pride winning out over the little voice inside
of him that was telling him to heed her words and go.
"I won't let you keep my child from me."
Alexis wanted so much to hold back the words coming forward in her mind, but she was scared. She had been unprepared
for this tonight, and here he was doing exactly what she'd feared, making demands, trying to gain control when she couldn't
let him have any. That's why the angry litany rushed out of her mouth before she could think better of it.
"You get this straight, Sonny, this is my child. Mine. If I decide that I'm going to take it to Manhattan or Greece
of the moon, that's up to me. Don't you even think otherwise."
A few times in their relationship, Alexis had seen Sonny transform from the big, explosive anger he had displayed tonight
to the cold, dark shield he put up right before something very bad happened. That it was happening now, between them, made
her want to weep. How in the hell had they gotten here? And when had she reached the point that she was backing away from
Sonny as he walked toward her, stopping just a few feet away from the end table she had already decorated with a lamp and
several small crystal pieces.
"You will not keep my child from me, Alexis! If you try, I swear to you and I swear to God, I will take that baby
and make sure you never see it again. Do you hear me? Do you hear me!"
As he screamed the last words, Sonny's arm swept the end table clean, the glass and porcelain shattering into a million
pieces across Alexis' floor. And the sound of it, the sound of so much breaking there in front of him, made Sonny finally
snap out of the angry haze he'd let take him over. What he saw left his heart more broken then all of the crystal that so
recently occupied the nearby table.
Alexis had moved against the wall, her hands up around her head in a protective pose as she huddled against the wall.
She was shaking. She was terrified. And Sonny knew that he had just become the man he had never wanted to be.
He had become Deke to the one person on Earth he had been sure he would never frighten or hurt in any way.
"Alexis, I'm... Alexis, I didn't mean..." Sonny reached for her, hoping he could console her and make her see
that the anger was gone. But Alexis recoiled from his attempted touch. She looked at him, her face stained by tears that
seemed to pour down her face, and her deep brown eyes were pools of only one thing -- fear.
Sonny felt like he was going to be sick. Turning quickly, he ran toward the door and rushed out, slamming it behind him.
Alexis stood where she was, momentarily paralyzed, and then only when she was sure that he was really gone did she run over
and lock the door before she dissolved in tears as she sank to the floor.
"Oh, little one, I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."
Outside, Sonny stood motionless on the front step, unable to leave and knowing he could not go back inside. He heard
Alexis turn the locks and he could not mistake the sounds of her sobbing or her attempt to console their unborn child. Dear
God, what had they just done to each other?
Johnny walked up from the car, his concern for his boss evident on his face. Sonny knew he was undeserving, and he shook
off the worry with a wave of his hand.
"Johnny, you stay here. If she tries to leave town, call me, but otherwise, just, just make sure she's all right."
As he always did, Johnny simply nodded and took up the position that was now his until further notice. Only as Sonny
walked back toward the car did the bodyguard hear the crying coming from inside the house. The sound of it broke his heart,
but he knew Ms. Davis well enough to know that she would be mortified if he made her aware that he had heard it. Stepping
a bit further away from the front door, Johnny settled in for the night.
Alexis wasn't sure at what point she had finally cried herself to sleep, but when she'd awoken to find herself on her
own floor, huddled against the front door, she knew that she hadn't had a terrible nightmare. If she'd needed any further
proof that the ugliness that had happened with Sonny was real, the ocean of broken glass and porcelain scattered across her
living room was also there as evidence.
She had left the mess and headed upstairs to a hot shower and fresh clothes. Despite the pit of despair that now made
up a significant portion of her insides, Alexis dressed and put on her best "I'm okay" face, and headed for the
Grille and her breakfast meeting with Jax. She could do this, she told herself, as she sat down at the table. She had taken
the best Helena could dish out and survived it. She could do this.
She had almost convinced herself when Sonny walked in the door of the restaurant. Alexis had to sit down her water glass,
her hand started to shake so badly. Suddenly the anger and bitterness of the night just passed came back to her in all its
gory vividness, and Alexis felt the room spin as her head swam.
Sonny saw the physical reaction Alexis was having to him, and he knew that he had to make himself watch it. What he'd
done to her was unforgivable. He might as well have hit her for the way he had treated her. He didn't know how she would
ever forgive him. He didn't know how he would ever forgive himself. That knowledge had almost kept him from coming here
when Johnny had called this morning, but Sonny knew he had to talk to her, and soon. A public place would at least give her
the protection of knowing she had a room full of witnesses if he lost his mind again. He could at least give her that comfort,
he had thought, and so he made his way here.
Moving cautiously, Sonny walked toward her table. Alexis looked at him and away from him at least a dozen times before
she settled her eyes on him, her bottom lip about to bleed from how hard she was biting it.
"Alexis, five minutes, please. I swear, that's all I want and then I'll leave you alone."
She nodded and he sat down.
"Jax will be here soon. When he gets here, you leave, no arguments and no scenes."
It was Sonny's turn to nod in agreement, and so he did. He watched Alexis' hands nervously fiddle with her utensils as
she tried to hide what she was feeling.
"What I did last night was unforgivable, and I'm sorry. I had no right to treat you like that."
"No, you didn't." Alexis said, mustering the strength to start pushing down some of the uneasiness his presence
was causing her.
"I would never do anything, purposely, to hurt you or to hurt our child. You know...you used to know that."
When she said nothing, Sonny leaned back in his chair and fixed his gaze on her.
"Alexis, I'm not...I'm not trying to make excuses here, but I'm fighting for the most important thing in life. I
know who I am scares you, I know it always has. But you were wrong not to tell me."
And she knew he was right, despite what had happened last night. Alexis wanted her baby safe, but denying Sonny his child...it
wasn't the answer. Only last night had reinforced every concern she had had about her future and the future of her baby.
She knew that she needed to make something perfectly clear to him before they could even start to try and find a solution
to what had now changed both of their lives forever.
"Sonny, you have a right to be angry with me, I'm not denying that. And I know what family, what children mean to
you, so I'm willing to try and make some kind of sense out of what happened...but I want you to hear me now, and understand
that what I'm telling you is the God's honest truth. If you ever, ever threaten to take my child away from me again, I will
use every ounce of legal brilliance I have and couple it with every cruel, dirty tactic I have learned being a Cassadine,
and I will destroy you. Do you understand that?"
"Yes," Sonny said, his shame at even making the threat so great that he had to choke out the word. "Just
for the record, I would never do that, not to you."
Alexis glanced up and saw Jax standing in the doorway. She gave him a look that conveyed her need for a few more minutes,
and so he lingered there rather than head toward their table.
"Sonny, I want to believe that there is some way we can find some common ground here. The baby deserves that. She
didn't ask for this, and we're the ones that have to make it work. But not right now, not today. I need some time to think,
and I think you do, too. I think, if you're honest with yourself, you know why I didn't tell you, why I was afraid to tell
you. We're both going to have to come to terms with those things if our baby is going to have any kind of peace."
Another nod. Sonny stood up silently and began to leave, his eyes falling on Jax in the doorway. Before he could move,
though, he turned back, his heart telling him there was one more thing that needed to be said.
"I'm sorry that I scared you. I never in my life wanted to see fear in your eyes when you looked at me."
With that Sonny turned and headed out. He and Jax exchanged their usually hostile greeting of a passing glance and Jax
headed for the table. He arrived just in time to see the tears that had formed in Alexis' eyes, and to hear the barely audible
whisper of her words.
"That makes two of us."
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