This is a little happy birthday ficlet for my girl, Cat. Happy Birthday.



"Hey," Sonny said as he strolled into the living room and found her wide-awake in front of the TV instead of asleep as he'd hoped. "Aren't you supposed to be getting' some shut-eye?"

Alexis glanced over at him from her seat on the sofa and smiled as he came and plopped down at the opposite end of the plush piece of furniture.

"I tried. I think I'm overtired now, though. Is she asleep?"

Sonny nodded. "Out like a light. I held her a little bit extra before I put her down. But you--you gotta get some rest," he said. "I thought that's why I came over."

She giggled. She couldn't remember the last time she'd let the sound come out of her mouth around anyone but Kristina. Alexis told herself it was a sure sign of how tired she really was, nothing more.

"I think you came over because when I called you and said, 'Kristina's had a fever for 36 hours,' you hung up and were in the car before I could add 'the doctor says she'll be fine, the antibiotics just need to kick in.'"

"Yeah, well..." Sonny lowered his head bashfully. "I'm a daddy. I can't help it."

Alexis leaned down so that her eyes could catch his. "No one's asking you to, don't worry."

The reassurance pushed aside his faint brush with embarrassment, and Sonny raised his head and threw her a full wattage smile.

"You should try to sleep."

"I will in a bit. Right now, I think I'm hungry."

She started to stand, but Sonny reached out, his hand gently falling on her arm to stop her.

"Why don't you let me do that? I'll whip something up. You rest."

Alexis chuckled and leaned back on the couch. "You don't have to take care of me, you know. I'm not the one with the monster-sized ear infection."

"Well, Kristina's asleep, so you'll just have to let me fuss over you for a bit."

"Oh, well," she began, her voice taking on an exaggerated air, "If you insist... can you add a cappuccino to that food?"

"Cappuccino?" he asked. "That's hardly going to help you sleep."

"No," she agreed, her cheeks dimpling as she smiled, "but it will make me feel very, very happy and well taken care of."

"Okay then." He winked at her. "Done."

Another small laugh bubbled up in her as he stood, clapped his hands together and headed off to the kitchen. This thing with them, this newly reformed friendship still sometimes felt too good to be true. In fact, most every time they were together, Alexis found herself thinking 'this can't really be. We can't be getting along this way again.' But they were, despite everything.

She doubted she could ever wrap her mind around the logic that had led Sonny to turn all his anger on Carly when the truth finally came out. It was one thing, he had reasoned, for Alexis to keep a secret from him in an effort to protect their baby girl, even if he hated that she had done it. It was another thing entirely for Carly to have known and used the secret to her own advantage when she better than anyone knew what children meant to him.

Alexis thought he was nuts, but she wasn't about to argue with anything that meant he'd been willing to speak to her reasonably about all that had transpired since the night Kristina had been conceived. Not that there hadn't been raised voices, slammed doors and days on end without speaking, but from the outset, Sonny's goal had been to share in Kristina's life not bulldoze Alexis out of it. It had saved them both as human beings, she was sure of that, and it had protected their daughter from a bitter war that could have torn apart her finally stable world.

Time had proven to be a wonderful balm for them, and as they worked together planning Kristina's second birthday party and her first Christmas with her daddy, they had begun to reclaim the precious friendship they had both handled too carelessly before. They were once again able to share coffee and secrets without feeling ill at ease, and his visits to spend time with Kristina were casual, fun adventures for the three of them together instead of the tension-filled hours they had been in the very beginning.

She had not been surprised at all when Sonny had insisted on rushing over just hours after getting back to town from a business trip at the first mention of Kristina not feeling well. He doted on their little girl as Alexis had always known he would. And she couldn't deny that having Kristina eager to go to his arms had been a blessing after hours of holding her and trying to soothe her.

With a sigh, Alexis picked up the remote and tagged up the volume on the television one notch as the next episode of her show began. She was about eight minutes in when Sonny returned, the heavenly smells of coffee and garlic reaching her.

"Since when do you keep such a well-stocked kitchen?" He asked as he set down a tray on the coffee table.

"Since I discovered the gourmet market on 14th delivers any order e-mailed to them."

He rolled his eyes at her as he picked up one plate and set it down in front of her. He repeated the motion with one of the cappuccino cups, but he handed that directly to her.

Alexis told herself it was just the heat of the cup she felt when his hand briefly set down upon hers as they swapped possession of the porcelain vessel.

"Mmm... heaven," she sighed, inhaling the aroma of the coffee. She took a sip, then she looked down at the beautiful plate before her.

"I see you haven't lost your touch."

"Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen," he shot back, giving her a look akin to the one Kristina flashed when Alexis took her toys at bedtime.

"Excuse me," Alexis quipped. "I didn't mean to imply that your skills may have slipped, just pointing out that this looks as wonderful as the last..."

She stopped when she realized what, exactly, had been the last meal Sonny cooked for her. They were friends again, but almost by silent agreement they had shied away from discussing their hours as lovers.

"So what are we watching?" Sonny asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, it's the 'West Wing' marathon on Bravo," she told him right before scooping up a bite of the scrumptious omelet he'd prepared.

"'West Wing,' isn't that the show where everyone talks really fast and walks around a lot?"

She nearly choked on a sip of cappuccino, she laughed so hard at his description. "It's the best show on television, Sonny... or it was. That's why I watch it on Bravo in repeats. The new ones... not so much."

"Why, what happened?"

"The guy who created the series left," she said, "and now it's just lost all its heart and soul. Everything that made it better than everything else just sort of faded away."

Sonny did nothing more than nod at her explanation, and then the two drifted into silence as they ate and drank coffee and watched the show. It was several minutes later when Sonny leaned back, his cup in his hand, and posed another question.

"Who's that lady supposed to be?"

"That's Nancy McNally. She's the National Security Advisor."

"She's tough," Sonny noted.

"That she is. You should see her go at it with Fitzwallace. He's the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs. They act like an old married couple, but their fights are about sending troops into hostile territory."

"So you really like this show?"

"Yes, I do." Alexis looked at him sideways. "Let me guess, you hate it."

"I don't hate it, I just think it's kind of boring."

Now she looked at him like he'd said the Earth was flat.

"Boring?"

"Well..." Sonny shifted and turned so he was facing her more. "I just... I don't get it. Why would you want to watching something about politics when we get nonstop politics on the news every day?"

Alexis stopped herself from answering too quickly, mulling that over instead. "Okay, valid point, but you don't watch 'West Wing' for the politics. It's the people."

"You mean you watch 'cause you think that Rob Lowe guy is hot, right?"

She couldn't stop herself. Carefully protecting her coffee cup, she slid the throw pillow from behind her back and threw it at his face.

"Hey!"

"I do not watch TV for the babe factor."

"Oh," Sonny said, barely understandable over his chuckle of amusement. "I see, you're above that."

"Yes, I am."

"Okay, so you don't think Rob Lowe is hot?"

"How the hell do you even know who Rob Lowe is?" Alexis asked, trying to steer the conversation to a different area.

"'The Outsiders.' Me and the Cerullo brothers probably saw it three or four times."

The obvious reasons Sonny might have identified with that particular movie made Alexis feel a little sad. She always hated to think about him as a young man, wanting so much to belong somewhere after he'd been driven from his own home. Suddenly she didn't want the conversation to be where it was again, and so her escape was to go back to his original query. She had no idea how that decision was about to change her life.

"Well, he's not really my type, but I'll admit, I'm sure some women watch the show just because they like Rob Lowe, yes."

"But not you." Sonny gave her that sly smile of his, hoping to unsettle her. Alexis determined he would not succeed.

"Not me. He's the least attractive guy on the show as far as I'm concerned."

"I like that tall girl. What's her name?"

Alexis raised her eyebrow and looked over at him. "I thought you didn't watch this show."

"I've seen it a couple of times. I remember I saw one where the tall girl was singing some song in her office."

"Lip synching," Alexis corrected. "She lip synced to a song called 'The Jackal'."

"Yeah, that was cool." Sonny said. "She's kinda hot."

She laughed. "You know, because I think C.J., which is her name, by the way, is wonderful, I'll ignore your juvenile tendencies and simply be glad you have good taste."

"Aww, thanks."

He flashed his dimples again. Alexis bit her lower lip and looked away.

Damn being so tired. That was the only reason, she told herself, the ONLY reason those dimples were getting to her tonight.

"Anyway, yeah," she said, her voice unsteady as she tried to get the conversation going again. "C.J. is the press secretary. She's a wonderful character--very strong and smart, but she still gets to be a sexy woman."

"Sounds like someone I know."

Her eyes darted toward him. Dear God, was he looking at her with "that" look?

"If you say Carly, I'll kill you."

His laugh shook the couch. "No, not Carly."

They went back to watching the show. The episode was one of Alexis' favorites. "Mr. Willis of Ohio." She loved the respect the genuine, humble Mr. Willis earned from the sometimes difficult Toby. She also enjoyed the interaction between Sam, Josh and Charlie after the President asked them to take the young man out to have some fun.

"So does C.J. go out with that guy?"

Alexis looked at the screen. "No, she and Josh don't go out, though sometimes it's seemed like they could. But Josh has this thing with his secretary Donna... one of those situations where you know they'll end up together eventually because it's so obvious she's in love with him even though they shouldn't get together because she works for him."

She grimaced as she realized she'd just drawn another parallel between something in their conversation and their past relationship. 'Steer clear,' Alexis reminded herself silently. 'You're friends. Leave it at that.'

"Well, she must go out with someone on the show. There's no way a woman like that could work around all those men and not be hooked up with anyone."

"Why do you say that?" Alexis asked, looked back at him despite the little voice saying 'no, don't look, he might use the dimples again.'

"Come on, Alexis. She's gorgeous, smart, funny as hell... and none of those men are interested?" He rolled his eyes, and Alexis laughed.

"It all depends on who you like on the show, I guess, if any of them are interested or not. C.J.'s had some love interests, though nothing with the main guys. But really, the one man I want to see her with I know they'll probably never let her fall for."

"Who's that?"

"Toby."

"The bald guy?"

"The bald guy?" Alexis parroted back. "He's incredible, and you call him the bald guy?"

"Well, he is bald, Alexis."

"Partially bald," she corrected, "and he's also charming and brilliant and, I might add, sexy as hell."

"The bald guy is sexy?"

"Yes!"

"Okay," Sonny said, sitting up and inching closer to her, his hand reaching over her legs as he grabbed for the remote and hit the "mute" button. "This you gotta explain to me. I mean, really... you think that guy is hot?"

Alexis shivered involuntarily. He was too damn close now, his leg touching hers. Why hadn't she just gone to bed? At least she'd be in the privacy of her own room, with him several rooms away from her.

'Alexis, just calm down,' she scolded mentally. 'Just turn so you're facing him, that'll separate him physically, and just answer his question and then go to bed.'

She followed her own advice and turned, sitting Indian style, her back tight against the end of the couch, her arms wrapped around a pillow. It put a few inches between them. Of course, when she looked up at him, Alexis found Sonny staring at her intently, his dark eyes fixed on her face, and she felt words begin to tumble out of her mouth in reaction to the feeling of connection buzzing between them.

"Toby knows C.J. He gets her. That's very attractive. And he's just... he's incredibly caring, but you don't always get to see that because he's cynical and fearful of being hurt, and he protects himself a lot, but at the same time, when he's around C.J., you can just see how much he cares about her and the respect he feels for her... and then you see him with his kids, and..."

"He has kids?" Sonny asked.

"Twins... Molly and Huck. He had them with his ex-wife, and he was worried he couldn't love them enough because she went off on this rant about how sad he is all the time, which was ridiculous. But anyway, Toby has this great moment with the babies where he realizes just how full of love he is for them. Trust me, no woman could resist a man that much in love with his children."

She could have sworn his eyes actually sparkled... like tiny beams of light danced in them... when she finished her description of her favorite male character from the show. Looking away, she toyed with the fringed edge of the pillow. Damn him, damn being tired, and damn, why was everything making her think of Sonny tonight?

"How does C.J. feel about his kids?"

His voice drew her attention back to him fully. "I'm not sure. I hate the show now, so I quit watching."

"But you won't find out how it ends if you quit watching."

Alexis shrugged. "I know how I'd want it to end. I'd rather hold onto that then be disappointed in what really happens."

Sonny nodded, and when he seemed poised to push himself up off the sofa, Alexis breathed a sigh of relief. He was probably going to clear the dishes. By the time he came back, she'd be up and ready to head off to bed, leaving him to sleep on the sofa, since she knew there wasn't a chance in hell he was heading home until Kristina's fever had broken completely.

But he didn't stand up.

He pushed himself closer, his hands touching down on her knees.

She couldn't breathe.

"I bet C.J. will love his kids."

"I-I don't know," Alexis said, stumbling. "She... I mean, they haven't talked much about that, but I don't... C.J. seems like maybe not a kid person. I mean, she does hang out with her niece, I guess, but... I don't know."

"I know," Sonny said, his right hand moving against the soft cashmere leggings she wore. "Because it sounds like if he knows her so well, and he respects her so much, that he shares a lot of his feelings about his kids with her. And she knows how important they are to him, and so she'll love them because they're part of him."

"M-maybe." Alexis could feel her heart pounding in her chest. "But, you know, he... he wanted to get back with his ex-wife. He wanted to make a home for his kids with their mother."

"And that's a good thing, if it works." Sonny's hand left her leg and reached up, his fingers gently prying those of her right hand from around the pillow.

God, she'd forgotten how good his skin felt against hers. How the heat that seemed to always emanate from him sank into her.

"But sometimes, you gotta realize that being with someone just because she's the mother of your children isn't doing anyone any favors. You need to be with a woman who makes you better, makes you whole... that way you can be a better father, a better man. If, you know, she happens to end up being the mother of one of your children, well, that's not so bad... just so long as she's the right woman."

Alexis felt fear flood through her. She felt like she was going to pass out. She had to get away from him.

'I can't do this again,' she thought. 'I can't risk this hurt again.'

Fatigue was affecting Alexis more than she'd known until she hit her feet and her legs instantly buckled. Sonny was beside her in a flash, his arms around her, steadying her. That meant her body was pressed against his, her heart beating thunderously right against his chest.

Where the hell was a good "West Wing" writer to give her something witty to say right now?

Sonny eased her back down to the sofa, his arms still around her, his hold eliminating any distance between them.

"Tell me how it ends."

Alexis looked at him quizzically. At her puzzled expression, he continued.

"How does the show end, in your version?"

"Well, not the whole show... just C.J. and Toby."

His left arm slowly dropped from around her, but only so his hand could take hold of hers.

"Tell me."

She thought about lying, but lying to protect herself from the unimaginable depth of emotions Sonny brought out in her had never worked out well.

So she took a deep breath, and she told him.

"He tries to make things work with Andi, but they don't. And he leans on C.J. to get through it... and he thinks maybe he's never going to find someone to share his life with him. He keeps saying things like it's okay, because he has his kids, and that's enough, but C.J.... she knows that's not true. She knows that he wants to be loved, and that he should be loved. And on their last day in the White House, she just tells him."

"What does she tell him?" he asked, his breath teasing against her cheek.

"She tells him that he is loved. And he realizes he's loved her all along. And they just hold each other."

"He doesn't need to say anything, I bet," Sonny added, "because that's how strong the connection is. He just knows she means it."

"Yes," she said, nodding.

"And she knows he's picking her because she's the best thing for him."

Alexis opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't find any words. Sonny brought his other hand up to cup her cheek.

"Okay, maybe she doesn't know... but she'll let him prove it."

It would have been so easy to let it end there, she knew. To leave it at him needing to prove something to her, at him having to win her heart.

But it would have been a lie. He already had it.

"No," Alexis whispered. "She knows."

He drew her face toward his as she wondered how on earth a simple conversation about a television show had ended up here, with her life changed forever.

"That sounds like the perfect ending to me," he said softly before his lips touched down on hers.

She melted into the kiss, her mind momentarily releasing all the Alexis-like doubts and questions that would surely come in the hours and days and weeks to come. And sometime during all of that, she'd correct Sonny's one true error of the evening.

It wasn't the perfect ending... it was the perfect beginning.

Commentary?

Contact the author