|
This was written as a "Happy Birthday" story in honor of my friend Professor
Sonny pulled his coat tighter around him as he covered the last two blocks to Kelly's on foot. It seemed unusually chilly
for late April, and Sonny knew it was probably crazy to be walking in the cold, but it felt good to be independent and out
on his own. He no longer used a driver. He no longer walked the earth in a circle of bodyguards. After the last five months,
Sonny liked the concept of less in his life - less deceit, less anger, less material crap that needed to be fought over and
killed for.
Less also included a change of residence. He now lived in a scaled down converted brownstone just down the street from
Bobbie Spencer's building. Currently, there were only two tenants in the building, him and Brenda. Brenda had moved in shortly
after Alcazar's arrest. It had pissed Candy Boy off righteously, and Sonny couldn't help but smile at the thought. It was
just the satisfaction of Jax' plans being ruined, though, not any kind of jealousy. Though Sonny had been tempted to try
to rekindle the past when Brenda first returned, she was living in her own apartment and they had agreed they were better
off as friends than as recycled lovers
Carly was still in the penthouse. She and Michael continued to live there and Carly seemed convinced that Sonny would
come back to her eventually. She was wrong. He loved her, he always would, but Brenda returning had made Sonny question
a lot of things in his life. More to the point, Brenda had forced him to look at said things by asking a lot of questions,
and when he could never answer "Are you happy?" to her satisfaction, Sonny realized there must be a reason he couldn't.
The reason - he wasn't. So simple and yet it had taken him forever to realize it. While he'd been looking for the answers,
he had pushed away his sister and his father and Jason and he were barely speaking. And then there was the other loss he
didn't allow himself to think about, the one that made his breath catch when he thought he heard her laugh or when he caught
of whiff of gardenia scent as he walked past the store that sold imported English bath salts.
Finally Kelly's loomed in front of him, and Sonny wondered what it was Brenda wanted to talk about and why she had insisted
on meeting him here. He hoped against hope that it had nothing to do with it being this particular day in April. He didn't
know if Brenda had forgotten what today was or if she was just refraining from mentioning it because she knew how much he
hated his birthday. Whatever had kept her from bringing it up thus far, he hoped it continued through dinner.
Opening the door, Sonny headed for a table on the far side of the room and started to remove his coat. He had unfastened
the buttons and was just starting to shrug the fine piece of cashmere craftsmanship off of his shoulders when he heard it.
Her laugh.
Sonny turned and there she was. She was seated alone at a table near the window. No business suit today, no polished
lawyer perfection. She was wearing jeans and a deep red sweater than Sonny could tell from here was made of cashmere, too.
And she was smiling. Smiling at a small bundle that lay curled in her arms and wrapped in a white fleece blanket.
Her daughter. Alexis and her daughter.
The picture in front of him was so idyllic, and Sonny knew making his presence known would shatter it, so he finished
removing his coat and took the seat that would allow him to keep his eyes on the beautiful woman who sat across the room from
him.
That ache, the one his memories brought roaring to life deep in his gut, it was there, pulsing and demanding his attention,
ordering him to look away. But he couldn't. He couldn't take his eyes off of them.
She looked so happy. Every time he'd seen her since Kristina's death, there had been a veil of sadness hanging over Alexis,
but it was gone now. Eight weeks with her new daughter seemed to have been the cure because now she was absolutely radiant.
"Can I get you something?"
The waitress wasn't one of the girls Sonny knew well, and he was grateful. Had it been Elizabeth or Tammy, they would
surely have called him by name, and he was certain that once Alexis saw him, she would pack up and leave as quickly as she
could. But that hadn't happened.
"Just coffee for now, thank you."
The waitress smiled and walked off to get his coffee. The moment she was gone, Sonny's attention returned to the living
portrait across the room. A tiny hand rose up from inside the blanket and Alexis reached down to let the little fingers wrap
around the index finger of her right hand. He couldn't hear what she said, but she bent her head low and said something to
the baby that he imagined made the little girl smile because it made Alexis giggle.
Alexis, giggling. It was something he had once been privy to...something he knew happened rarely and was just as seldom
shared. He was glad she still had someone who could make her giggle now that he had pushed her so far away it seemed there
was no going back.
He could have sat there all day, just watching them and taking in the simple but exquisite beauty of it had Alexis not
shifted the baby in her arms. When she did, the fleece blanket slipped down and Sonny got his first look at the little girl
he knew had been christened Kristian Jane Davis.
And he saw the deep, dark girls and he saw the hue of her skin...
April 24, 2002...it had been a birthday morning like none he could ever remember. He had woken up in bed, black satin
all around him, and Alexis in his arms.
It hadn't been another dream. That was his first thought when he looked down and saw her face so relaxed and peaceful
in her rest. She was really there. They had really made love.
Because he knew Alexis, and he knew it would make her uncomfortable to catch him staring at her, he pretended to be asleep
when he felt her coming awake. And then she had tried to sneak away from their intimacy and he had refused to let her. A
joke, a tease, a kiss. Breakfast and strawberries and a black satin shirt he had never looked at the same way again.
And then Courtney, and the revelation that it was his birthday. He remembered so clearly the way she had caught his eyes
as Courtney set out his favorite cannoli for him. Alexis had mouthed "Happy Birthday" to him with this look that
said, why didn't you tell me?
All he had thought was, yes, it was a happy birthday, the best one he had ever had. In fact, as he remembered what he
had been doing as midnight brought his birthday into being, Sonny had smiled to himself and thought, "Happy Birthday
to me."
A whole year, Sonny thought, sitting there at that table in Kelly's. A year...12 months...and Kristian was eight weeks
old...
Just as his mind stumbled upon the realization of his life, Brenda walked in. She happened to catch Alexis' eye, and
then Alexis watched her walk over to Sonny. That's when what Sonny had expected to happen started to happen. Though she
moved calmly, Alexis began to pack up the baby's things. She was being careful to keep her eyes turned away from him. And
that's when he knew he was right.
Kristian Jane Davis was his daughter.
Brenda saw Sonny's eyes fixed on something across the room, and she turned in time to see Alexis pick up the baby carrier
and head for the door. She turned back before Alexis stopped and cast a glance over her shoulder at Sonny. So she missed
the brief, nervous smile Alexis threw in Sonny's direction. She didn't miss the spark of joy it brought to his eyes as he
returned the smile and let his hand move in a small wave goodbye.
"Sonny."
His eyes were still on the door. Alexis was gone, and Brenda could sense it, but still Sonny's attention remained focused
on where his ex-attorney had stood.
"Sonny?" she said, a little louder. When it still didn't work, Brenda reached her hand out and waved it in
Sonny's face. That finally got him to look in her direction.
"Sorry," he said, his voice slightly choked. His daughter...he had just figured out that Alexis' child was
his child and now he was supposed to sit here and have a regular conversation with Brenda? Why had he just let them walk
out? What the hell was the matter with him, and why wasn't he going after them right this second?"
"Sonny, I wanted to talk to you."
"Brenda, now isn't really..."
"Now, Sonny," she said, cutting him off. "I won't keep you long, but I wanted to tell you two things,
and you need to hear them now."
He sighed and settled back in his chair. His family had just walked out of the door, and it was killing him, that ache
in his gut growing more painful by the second. But for some reason, Sonny still sat there, unable to get up and go after
what he wanted.
"Son, are you listening to me?" Brenda asked. It was so important that he really hear her. She had thought
long and hard about this conversation, and she knew it was long overdue. Any doubts she had about that had been erased by
his fascination with the woman who had just left.
"Yeah, Bren, I'm listening."
"Good. I wanted to tell you that I'm moving out tonight."
"You're moving in with Ca...with Jax," Sonny asked?
"No, I'm moving into my old cottage. Nikolas Cassadine offered it back to me, and I'm taking it. I've been 'taken
care of' too long, Sonny. I need to get my life back, now that I know I have one."
Sonny nodded, understanding. For years, Brenda had believed she was dying. Now that she knew the truth, that Alcazar
had lied to her and helped foster her fear, she was free.
"The other thing I wanted to tell you, Sonny," Brenda continued, reaching into her pocket, "is Happy Birthday."
Sonny tried not to grimace as Brenda placed a small white box with a gold ribbon in front of him. She had known him too
long not to notice.
"Don't give me that look, Corinthos. Just open it."
Smiling despite himself, Sonny took the lid off the small box. There was nothing inside.
"Um, okay, is it invisible?" he asked, laughing.
"No," Brenda said. She reached out and took hold of both his hands. "My gift to you is your freedom to
be the man you want to be. You gave me my life back, and I want to return the favor."
Sonny shook his head, slightly confused. "Brenda, you lost me."
"We've talked a lot these last few months, and I've realized that you've changed, a lot. Mostly for the better.
But you're still afraid to reach out and take hold of what you want. Sure, you're taking baby steps. You left Carly, you
don't surround yourself with guards to insulate you from the world, but you're still afraid to really grab hold of the things
that will make you happy."
"That's not true, Brenda." Sonny said, pulling his hands free.
"No?" Brenda questioned, her eyebrow rising, "then why are you still sitting here with me when all you
wanted to do was run out that door and go after Alexis?"
She was doing it again. Brenda and her questions were forcing Sonny to see the truth...and the truth was she was that
once again, she was right. He was afraid. His doubts were making him afraid. What if Alexis pushed him away? Would he
do something he would regret? Would he hurt her, hurt Kristian? Or could he find the strength to surprise Alexis, surprise
himself, and actually earn back the place in their lives that he had forfeited through his own callousness?
Fifteen minutes later, Sonny was standing in front of Alexis' door. He had practically run, his heart pounding as he
considered all the ways that this might play out, 90 percent of them bad. But he had to try. Less was fine when it came
to things and bodyguards and power and even money, but it wasn't fine when it came to his heart.
He knocked. There was a 29 second pause that felt like eternity to Sonny. Then he heard a lock turn and a chain clink
lightly against the door, and then it opened.
Alexis stood there staring out at him, Kristian in her arms. She made no attempt to shield the baby from his eyes, and
Sonny knew that she knew why he had come.
"Alexis, I swear, I'm not here to make any demands or to try and throw my weight around. I just want...I just needed..."
His voice trailed off as his emotions choked off his air. He just wanted, he just needed...them. Why couldn't he say
it?
But as she had always done when they were each other's other halves in the not so distant past, Alexis saved him.
She had been debating every day since Kristian's birth about keeping this secret, and with each passing day she knew it
was not meant to be. She could not keep Kristian from her father. She couldn't keep Sonny away from his child. And she
could no longer keep up the angry front that had allowed her to push Sonny away. Time did heal all wounds...even the ones
that seemed permanent. A gentle smile came to her face, and she resigned herself to this new course their lives were about
to take.
"Happy Birthday, Sonny. Would you like to come in and hold our daughter?"
Sonny stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind him. Quickly, he removed his coat, draping it over a nearby
chair. Then he stepped closer to Alexis. She looked down at the baby and cooed to her softly.
"Little one, remember how we talked about your daddy while you were growing inside me? Well, he's here, and he wants
to meet you. I always knew he would want you, and I always knew he would love you. Mommy just got scared for a while."
She didn't know if she was saying it for herself, for Kristian or for Sonny, but it was the truth, and Alexis felt it
needed to be said. Looking up, she saw nothing but happiness and anticipation in Sonny's eyes. There were rocky days ahead
for them, but today would not be one. Moving slowly, she took Kristian and transferred her to Sonny's waiting arms.
"Sonny, I'd like you to meet your daughter. Kristian Jane, this...this is your daddy."
She felt like air. She felt like a wish that was impossible but true.
She felt like...more. So much more than Sonny had ever hoped.
Looking down at his tiny baby girl, Sonny felt the same surge of happiness he had only felt once before in his life.
On another birthday, in a bed he no longer owned, holding the woman who had once again made his birthday a day to cherish.
Sonny's eyes moved from Kristian's serene face over to Alexis' nervous one.
An hour ago it seemed impossible. An hour ago, this was all a dream he didn't know he should dream. But now it was real.
It was his life. And only one coherent thought seemed to be able to make its way to the surface of Sonny's mind.
"Happy Birthday to me."
|
