Sonny leaned back against the cushions of the couch, his head pounding from another night spent drinking too much and not getting enough sleep. Thankfully the heavy drapes of the penthouse windows kept the afternoon sunlight out. He needed a few minutes of peace and quiet, a few minutes not filled with pretending or regret.

Glancing at the clock, he saw that Morgan would be home from school in a few hours. Morgan, his son...or rather, the son he had claimed as his own, just as he had with Michael, in order to keep his "family" together. The devastating revelation of Carly's drug-induced encounter with Ric Lansing hadn't occurred until after Morgan's birth, after Sonny had already fallen in love with the little boy. What was he supposed to do, turn his back on them?

No, in classic Sonny mode, he had decided it was all his fault. He had kissed Brenda, sending Carly on a reckless drinking binge, and that had landed her in Ric's nefarious arms. Morgan wasn't to blame for that, and neither was Michael. Sonny felt he owed the boys the life he had promised them, and so he had forgiven Carly, dealt swift and deadly vengeance out upon Ric, and devoted himself to making a happy family.

The only hitch in Sonny's plans had been reality. It was much easier to wish a happy family than it was to make one where trust didn't exist. He and Carly pretended well, but always there was that layer of, "does he want someone else," and "will she do something to ruin us." The doubts were always there.

But still, there were Morgan and Michael. Michael had decided to go away to college. Sonny had been disappointed but he sensed that after years of the Quartermaines plotting to get him back into their lives, Michael had simply wanted an escape. Stanford provided it. He was studying to be a doctor. Somehow the irony of that, that he'd chosen the profession of his two blood grandparents, was never far from Sonny's mind.

Morgan was a senior in high school. He was a handsome boy, popular and very bright. He wanted to go to business school. Harvard was at the top of his list. Again, an irony Sonny never missed.

Carly was...Carly. Their marriage had endured despite all the issues that stood between them, but Sonny couldn't honestly pinpoint the last day he'd been happy in it. He just was...and they were...and that was how it went.

The knock on the door disturbed his thoughts, and Sonny sighed heavily as he called out to one of the nameless guards outside.

"Yeah?"

The door opened, and the man who was working that day walked in. Sonny briefly saw a mirage and thought it was Johnny, but that was impossible. Johnny had left him and gone to work for the Cassadines years earlier.

"Mr. Corinthos, there's a young woman here to see you. Kristina Cassadine."

The name threw him. A visual of the woman he'd known as Kristina Cassadine flashed through his mind. He saw her laughing, embracing her sister, back when the younger woman hadn't hated him and the older woman had been his best friend. Shaking off the memory, Sonny stood.

"What does she want?"

"I don't know, sir," the guard replied. "She says she needs to speak to you directly."

Sonny stood in silence a moment, his mind spinning. He remembered hearing at some point during his recovery from his manic phase nearly two decades ago that after regaining custody of her daughter, Alexis had returned to the full embrace of the Cassadine family, so much so that she had even finally taken her father's name. She and the child had moved into Wyndemere, Stefan had returned home, and together with Nikolas, the Cassadines had re-established themselves as the most powerful family in Port Charles.

Over the years, Sonny had seen Alexis and her daughter around town. The family attended the Nurses' Ball every year, they were always at the GH Christmas Party, and of course, there were the times that Sonny and his kids had seen them at the park or at school, since Kristina and Morgan were only a year apart. There was always a polite exchange of hellos or goodbyes, but that was it. He hadn't had a conversation with Alexis since the day she'd come to him asking for his help in getting Kristina back from the Quartermaines.

Kristina had grown from a beautiful baby into a stunning young woman. Sonny often marveled that Ned could have contributed any part of the gorgeous girl's DNA, but he gave all the credit to Alexis anyway. Whenever he ran into them, Sonny couldn't help but stare for a second at how breathtaking she was, and like her mother, so much of that was about who she was and not just how she looked. Kristina Jane Cassadine had grown up strong, confident, and brilliant. She had graduated from high school two years early and was already working her way through double degrees in Russian and business at Harvard.

It seemed odd to Sonny for her to be in Port Charles this time of year till he remembered how early she'd been born. It was November. She was probably home for her birthday. Morgan had been stubborn and had made them wait till December 2nd for his arrival. His birthday plans were already in the works.

The guard cleared his throat, trying to get his boss' attention. Sonny looked up, his wandering mind focused again, and nodded.

"Send her in."

The guard exited but he held the door open, and in moments, Kristina entered the room. She was dressed in a simple black dress that Sonny knew probably cost about $2,000 because it was of the highest quality, as only befit a Cassadine princess. She wore little jewelry, just a set of rings that Sonny could see were a copy of the ones Alexis always wore, and a simple platinum chain that held a small diamond pendant. Elegance that she had been born with and had never had to learn, that's what he saw.

"Hello," she said, and for the first time he could remember, Sonny heard Kristina speak. It was always Alexis who said anything to him when they were out. The little girl, now a grown 19-year-old woman, had always smiled or shyly turned away or, as had been her habit the last few years, watched him intently, but always, she had remained silent.

"Hello," Sonny responded, then he felt himself rendered speechless. Her gaze was powerful, holding him locked to where he stood. He had no idea why she was here, what she wanted, but he knew that he would stand there and wait and listen to whatever she had to say.

Kristina stood tall, her long black curls hanging past her shoulders. She fought the urge to reach up and grab a tendril to spin in her fingers. That was her nervous tick. Her mother's was talking nonstop. But she didn't want him to see her nervous. Kristina was determined that he would see only the woman she wanted him to see, the one her mother had raised to be good and kind and decent and honest. The one Uncle Jax and Aunt Skye had taught to laugh. The one Zander had helped make tough in the gym. The one that Nikolas and Stefan had taught to read her adversaries and learn what she needed without asking questions. The one Luke and Lucky had taught to play a masterful game of poker.

This day had been coming for three years. It had started to brew the day she had turned 16 and her mother had taken her to her Aunt Kristina's memorial. There, with a strained voice and through a veil of tears, Alexis had revealed to Kristina why she had grown up with no father.

The absence of her father had never been questioned by Kristina in those first 16 years, not because she didn't want to know, but because she had once heard Luke make a casual reference to her father in front of her mother, and Kristina had seen the unfathomable well of pain just that mention had brought to her mother's beautiful eyes. Kristina had sworn then to not pursue the knowledge. She had a good life...a family that adored her...and she was prepared to be content. But then Alexis Davis Cassadine had driven them into town, to a beautiful garden full of hydrangeas, and revealed the truth.

Having a mother of such striking intelligence, Kristina prided herself on mirroring Alexis as much as possible. She had processed the details her mother gave her with that innate sense of justice Alexis had instilled in her. Suddenly hearing the facts, knowing who he was, that he was a launch ride and 20-minute drive away, Kristina had felt cheated and angry, but she had also known that no decision Alexis had ever made for her was based on anything but love. She had offered her mother her forgiveness that day, and she had meant it.

But she had questions, lots of them, and Kristina had begun digging. She asked subtle questions of Jax and Skye and found out quickly why it was that her mother had cut Ned and the rest of the Quartermaines out of her life. Kristina couldn't help but be grateful considering the hell she'd seen them put each other through over the years. Then Kristina had hit the Internet. It seemed her real father was quite the news icon. It was easy to find out who he was, what he was, to figure out how her aunt's life had been lost and why her mother had run in fear.

Kristina actually admired her mother even more when she was finished with her research. Alexis hadn't said one negative thing about Sonny except to say, "he just lived too dangerous of a life for me to let him into yours." But Kristina could read between the lines of what she'd heard and what she read. Her "father" had hurt her mother, hurt her very badly, and yet she said nothing to criticize him or try to turn Kristina against him.

Alexis had given her the choice of telling Sonny the truth or not doing so. Kristina remembered the fear on her mother's face as she'd weighed her decision during the next few days. Finally, though, Kristina had decided not to tell him, at least at that time. She wanted to know who he was before she acknowledged him, and so she had begun her study of one Michael "Sonny" Corinthos, and what was revealed to her had not made Kristina want to race to him with open arms.

Instead, it made her hate him.

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here," she said after a long silence. Sonny shrugged.

"Well, yeah. If you're here to see Morgan, he's still at school."

"Morgan's a nice boy," Kristina said. "So is Michael. They've always been very nice to me."

Sonny smiled. "They are, they're good boys."

Kristina could see that he was nervous now. He felt like he was under a microscope. Kristina knew the man had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder years earlier. He had been maintaining with therapy and medication, but she imagined it didn't feel very good to him to have a stranger staring at him, her agenda unknown.

"I just came to ask you a question," Kristina offered, and Sonny walked to the bar, pouring himself a glass of water in silent response. He turned to look at her.

"Can I get you something?"

"Just my answer."

Sonny poured the water, took a sip, and then turned back toward Kristina.

"Shoot."

"Why did you choose to look the other way?"

Sonny's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Excuse me?"

"You knew," Kristina said, her arms crossing in front of her, her voice remaining calm and even. "You knew, and you kept turning away."

"Knew what?"

"I see it every day," she continued, taking a step closer to him. "I see it when I comb my hair, when I look at my eyes in the mirror. I see it when I smile. I see it when your wife looks at me with that panicked expression she gets every time we all show up at the same restaurant or at the same school event. So tell me, Mr. Corinthos, do you really expect me to believe that you don't see it?"

Sonny's grip on the glass firmed. He felt his breathing beginning to grow shallow as tension flooded his body. 'No,' he commanded his mind, 'don't let her do this.'

"I think you need to leave, Miss Cassadine," Sonny said, his eyes tearing away from hers.
He looked back, though, when he heard her laugh.

"It's so easy for you, isn't it? You see and you look away and you pretend you never saw it. But the truth is, you know. You've always known. And you know the moment I knew that?"

Sonny stared at her mutely as Kristina walked closer, her brown eyes flaring with anger despite the continued calm of her voice.

"Remember when my mother was in that accident right after I finished high school? I saw you at the hospital. I saw you watching the examining room doors in the ER waiting to see if she'd be all right or not. And I was there outside with my Uncle Stefan crying, and you looked at me, and I saw it. You looked at me, and you thought, 'I should go to her. I should go to my daughter and tell her it'll all be okay,' but you didn't. You looked at me, and you saw me, and you walked away."

The glass shattered in his hand. Sonny felt his fingers snap it and he felt the cold water run down his hand as the shards fell to the ground.

"That's not true," he yelled defensively, stepping away from her. "You're not mine."

"Oh, yes, I am. I'm as much yours as I am my mother's."

Sonny turned, ignoring the wetness on his hand, the water mixed with blood, and glared at her with furious eyes.

"If that's true, then your mother's the one you should be angry with. She's the one who lied. I asked her. I asked her to her face two different times if you were mine, and she said no."

"I know," Kristina said, a small smile rising on her lips. "but it's so easy to lie to people when they want you to, and you wanted her to, didn't you? You wanted this," Kristina's hand swept the apartment, "your wife who makes you miserable and two sons that aren't even yours...you wanted that instead of me."

"That's not true," Sonny said, turning away. He moved to the mantle, his uncut hand running through his hair as he leaned against the granite.

"You cast my mother out of your life, threw her away, and you think she was supposed to come to you and give you me as a reward?" Kristina could hear the emotional edge that had crept into her voice. She took a deep breath, forcing herself not to let him see any weakness in her. "Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I grew up with the parent who chose me above all else, above her freedom, her career, her reputation...my mother sacrificed everything for me. And you...you just turned your back and walked away."

Sonny heard movement toward the door, and then he heard it open. He refused to turn around.

"I just wanted you to know that I knew...that I knew it was you who chose. You can deny it all you want, but I know."

The door slammed, and Sonny turned around to find her gone. His body dropped to the ground where he stood, his legs no longer able to support him.

'She has my eyes.'

'That skin didn't come from Ned.'

'Alexis' laugh, but it's my smile.'

How many thoughts...how many times had he seen and not spoken? How many times had he held to the lie he knew he had been told to protect the lie he had constructed in his own home?

Sonny was still sitting there on the floor, his bleeding hand resting in his lap as he rocked back and forth, tears streaming down his face, when Carly returned home.

*****

She no longer cared who saw her break now, who saw the wetness on her cheeks. Kristina sat on the seaside bench that was her favorite of all of Wyndemere's hideaways, and as the breeze moved her hair, she cried.

"Oh, Little One," Stefan said as he approached. He sat down beside her and wrapped a cashmere shawl around her shoulders, his hands staying there in a casual embrace. "Is he really worth your tears?"

"No," Kristina answered, far too quickly to be convincing. She swiped at her cheeks then looked toward her uncle.

"Mother isn't with you?"

He shook his head.

"She and Skye went into town to finish their errands for your birthday party. Alexis asked me to come and check on you since she knew you wouldn't cry in front of her."

Kristina smiled even as new drops fell from her eyes. "She knows me too well."

"Never in my life did I think I would see Alexis as happy as you have made her, Kristina. It's her joy to know you so well."

Stefan reached out and pulled his niece back against him, his arms wrapping around her. Though he didn't say it, he also knew he owed Kristina a great debt for his own happiness in life. Her existence and Alexis' need for his support had brought him back to Port Charles. Here he had met Skye and fallen in love. And here, finally, Stefan had figured out who he was as a man and not as a duty-bound servant to his family dynasty.

Kristina sighed and leaned into the warmth of her uncle's embrace. Stefan, despite his sometimes-surly nature, was the second great love of her life. After her mother, only Stefan knew her well enough to have known where she was or why. Not even Uncle Jax, whose friendship she couldn't live without, came close. She suspected that was why she had never truly wanted for a father. Stefan had always been there, along with the rest of her motley crew of pseudo fathers.

"I should have warned her," Kristina said, finally, thinking back to the stunned look on her mother's face when she had announced that she'd confronted Sonny.

"Perhaps," Stefan said in that tone that Kristina knew meant, 'yes, you should have.' "But your mother did leave the choice up to you, which meant in your own time."

Kristina nodded gently, her hair brushing against him. "She tries so hard not to think of him. I mean, I know she's been happy all these years, even if she keeps turning down Uncle Jax' proposals. I know he's made her happy, but she's...she still loves him, doesn't she?"

His niece was not one for easy questions. 'So much like her mother,' Stefan thought as he fought off a chuckle. He knew the answer, of course. Alexis had never been able to completely let go of Corinthos. Many times over the last 19 years, he had found her weeping after an encounter with the man, the wounds on her heart ripped open by just the sight of him. However, those were not his stories to tell, and so Stefan leaned his head forward, his cheek pressing against the top of her head. "He gave her you, Kristina. How could she not?"

Kristina turned quickly and nestled her head against her uncle's shoulder. He always knew how to make her heart feel lighter, even now, when it felt so heavy with grief and sadness.

He had denied her again. She had expected him to do it, but Kristina had never imagined it would hurt so much.

"He still doesn't want me," she whispered as her tears began to flow once again.

"Then, Little One, Sonny Corinthos is the biggest fool who has ever lived. Oh, to have such a child...it is the dream of far greater men than he."

Stefan tightened his hold on Kristina as his gentle words helped her to let go of the last bit of hurt she needed to cry free. As he did so, he cursed Sonny Corinthos to the heavens.

Awhile later, Kristina calmed, and she leaned back out of his embrace, her head dipped as if to hide the redness of her eyes, and Stefan put his finger underneath her chin and left her face to his.

"May I ask a question?"

Kristina nodded.

"Why today, Kristina? What was it that made you decide to see him today?"

A chill ran through Kristina's body, and she stood quickly. As she wrapped the thick shawl her uncle had brought around her body, she walked forward and stared out toward the choppy waters around Spoon Island.

"Kristina?" he asked again, his voice patient yet Kristina knew she would not escape his inquiry. Sighing, she turned to face him.

"You mustn't tell mother. She would be furious if she knew..."

Stefan stood and walked toward her.

"Kristina, what did you do?" he asked, his eyebrow arched to let her know he would not make any promises until he knew the truth. It reminded her very much of the day her uncle had come to rescue her after she had driven her mother's BMW into a pole at the local shopping mall because she'd been busy flirting rather than paying attention to her driving. The memory almost made her smile, but then Kristina remembered her uncle's question.

"I read that Scott Baldwin was about to be released from prison, and so...I went to see him."

Frown didn't begin to describe the grim look that overtook her uncle's face. He was angry...but not nearly as angry as her mother would be, and Kristina only hoped that was a sight she'd be spared.

"What on Earth would possess you to..."

"Because I needed and answer, and he was the only one who could give it to me," Kristina bit back, halting his tirade. "I left school a day early and stopped at Pentonville."

"And what, pray tell, did you need to ask Scott Baldwin?" Stefan asked impatiently.

"I needed to know why he did what he did to my mother," Kristina replied, and she saw her uncle's face instantly sink from fury to sadness. He didn't like to remember how difficult those months had been for them, mostly because he felt guilty that he hadn't been here to help. Kristina reached out and took his hand, holding it as much to help her tell her story as to reassure Stefan's bruised heart.

"When I read the article saying they were going to let him out and detailing all the corrupt things he'd done...Uncle Stefan, he tried to ruin my mother's life, and I needed to know why. That's never made any sense to me. I mean, I know that she had to face some consequences for killing Alcazar, but he tried to destroy her, or he helped Edward Quartermaine do it, and since Edward's dead, Baldwin was the only one who could tell me why."

Stefan clasped his other hand atop hers, enveloping it, and his voice reached out to her with the calm tone she knew meant her confidence would be kept.

"What was his answer?"

"He said that Edward called it 'divine justice.' Mother helped Sonny and Carly take Michael, and so Edward wanted to punish her by taking me."

"I could have told you that," Stefan said, and Kristina rolled her eyes at him.

"But you wouldn't have. You all try so hard to keep me safe from all of that, and I do know it's done out of love, but I needed to know."

Stefan nodded. "All right, but I still don't see why this spurred your sudden revelation to your father."

Kristina huffed and pulled her hand away, turning back toward the cliff's edge. She felt a surge of anger as she remembered driving away from Pentonville with one thought in her mind.

It was his fault.

"Don't you see, Uncle? It was him! It all goes back to him. That man is as responsible for as much of the hurt my mother suffered in her lifetime as Helena was. Edward came after me to punish Mother for helping Sonny! Aunt Kristina died because Alcazar wanted to hurt Sonny! Mother was all alone when that bastard left us to die because Sonny went back to that...that woman and..."

Kristina was raging, and Stefan walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her to still her body. Carefully, he walked her back from the edge of the cliff she had stood upon, both figuratively and literally. As much as he hated Sonny Corinthos, and as much as he did not want to violate his sister's confidences, Stefan knew he had to speak now before Kristina did or said something she could not take back.

"Kristina, you cast too much blame," he said as he turned her to face him. "I despise that man, I've made no secret of it. But Sonny Corinthos, and I truly believe this, did not ever mean for harm to come to your mother."

"How can you say that?" Kristina asked. "She almost died because of him, and then he broke her heart, and...I don't want him. I don't want him to be a part of me. I don't."

"Listen to me, Kristina, your mother was a grown woman who followed her heart and loved a man she probably never should have loved. Did it hurt her? Yes, deeply. She carries those wounds still. But I can tell you, Little One, that she doesn't regret it, not a moment." Kristina pulled her arms, trying to get free and turn away, but Stefan held her fast as he continued.

"Loving your father helped Alexis come to life. For years I watched her holding herself back from real love, protecting herself from anything that might put a small ripple into her world because she thought she needed peace to be happy. And then she met him, and she loved him, and yes, Kristina, he hurt her. But because of all that, she lost those lines and rules she had put around herself thinking they would keep her safe and she learned what she was and was not willing to do in this life and for whom. She found herself in the gift your father gave her, Kristina, and that was you."

"So I'm just supposed to not care what he did? I'm supposed to just ignore that he turned his back on her and that he looked right at me and knew I was his and said nothing?"

Stefan sighed and lifted his hand to sweep back a wild lock of his niece's dark mass of curls. She didn't know it, but she was proving right now just how much her father's child she was. No non-Cassadine had ever held a grudge like Sonny Corinthos could...and clearly, it was hereditary.

"Little One, were your mother's heart as unforgiving as yours, I would be alone in this world, no sister to love me or niece to make me smile. We are complicated beings, and sometimes we hurt most tragically those we cannot live without. If they never pardoned us, we would all end up with broken hearts."

Kristina took in her uncle's words, but she wasn't certain she was convinced. He sensed this and smiled, pulling her into his arms once more.

"For a very long time, I thought I was cursed...that I was never meant to know happiness or love as I do now. I think, perhaps, your father is not so different, Kristina. Think on that, hmm?"

She nodded against his chest, and Stefan kissed the top of her head.

"Now, I promise not to tell Alexis about your prison excursion if you promise to come in with me right now. It's getting cold, and we can't have the birthday girl getting sick on us, now can we?"

Kristina managed to laugh a little at her uncle's teasing and soon they were walking arm-in-arm back down the path to the house. As they passed the dock, she thought of her mother, in town buying last minute birthday presents, no doubt, because she never thought there were enough. That brought a real smile to her face. November 19th...it was her mother's favorite day, and Kristina had no doubt that tomorrow would be as much an event as it had been every year. But this year, Kristina knew that she would climb the stairs to her room and look out of the window that faced Port Charles proper, and wonder what "he" was thinking...because this year, he couldn't pretend.

This year, Sonny Corinthos would remember that his daughter lived, and that she was within reach, if only he wanted to extend his hand.

*****

He was sitting on "their bench," which Alexis still thought of it as even all these years later. Here they had plotted legal strategy, teased, laughed and fought. It was theirs, no matter who else had tried to lay claim to it. Alexis looked at Johnny, dismissing him to go and retrieve Skye, who had covered for her beautifully. She saw her guard's eyes flicker toward his former employer, then he nodded and headed off to his task.

The first thing she noticed was how much gray was threaded through his thick black hair. Then she saw the bandage on his hand. Finally, as he looked up at her, she saw the dark, haunted sadness she had so often found in his eyes. Then, she had had the power to chase it away. Now, Alexis knew, she was part of the reason it lived again.

She sat down next to him without speaking, glad that he had come even though she knew he must want to be anywhere but near her right now.

"You hurt your hand," she said for lack of anything better to say in the moment. Sonny shook his head but still did not look at her.

"It's nothing."

Silence.

"Johnny still works for you?" he asked, which surprised Alexis. She hadn't known he'd even seen Johnny standing there.

"He's been invaluable to us. You'd be proud of the job he's done, keeping Kristina safe all these years."

Silence again.

"Sonny, I..."

"No," he said, cutting her off, but not harshly or angrily. His voice was low and soft. "She was right, Alexis."

"I know."

That made Sonny look at her, finally.

"You knew?"

"For years I thought you'd show up, just knock on the door and say, 'I know she's mine, and I want her.' The more she grew to look like you, the more afraid I was. And then one day...she was about seven, I think, we were all in the park at the same time. You were with Morgan on the swings, and Kristina was on the monkey bars, and she reached for one and..."

"She slipped," Sonny finished.

"Yes," Alexis said, smiling slightly. "You remember."

"Yeah," he said, his voice full of regret. "I remember."

"She was crying so hard you'd have thought her arm was broken," Alexis went on, "and I went to run to her, and that's when I saw you. You had started toward her. You had taken maybe three or four steps, and then you froze. And later, after I knew Kristina was all right, I realized that you knew. And I realized when you didn't come to her then that you had decided not to."

Sonny closed his eyes at the memory. God, he'd been so close, so near to giving into his instincts and running over to scoop the dark-eyed little girl up into his arms and say, 'it's okay, sweetheart, it's all going to be okay.' But he hadn't. He'd seen that she had Alexis with her, seen the trust that existed there, and Sonny had felt like an intruder in a private moment.

She doesn't need you, he had thought. She's fine without you, Sonny. Let her go.

"She hates me, doesn't she?" he asked, his face dipping to hide the tears Alexis knew were running down his cheeks.

"Of course she doesn't."

Sonny sniffed and shook his head. "You didn't see her today. She hates me, Alexis, and she should."

Alexis sighed, and put her hand on his shoulder.

"You asked me to choose, and I chose you."

He jerked up, his moist eyes locking with hers as the familiar words echoed in Sonny's heart.

"She didn't come to you today to tell you she hates you," Alexis assured him. "She came to ask you to choose her. Kristina wants you to come for her, Sonny. She wants to know that you want her."

"I don't..." Sonny's heart filled with guilt and he shook his head. "I don't deserve her."

Alexis reached out and put both her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at her.

"That's what started all this, Sonny. We both made the same mistake, you and I. We condemned you for your life. I've lived with that guilt all these years, too, but I've done it with Kristina to ease the pain. I never let my regrets touch her. Give yourself permission to do the same, Sonny. Know the daughter you helped give life to."

Sonny saw the sincerity in Alexis' eyes, heard it in her voice. It reminded him of days long gone when he knew where to go to see the better within himself. The moment was broken, however, when Johnny's footsteps sounded on the dock, drawing Alexis' gaze his direction. Sonny saw her nod, and then she looked back to him once more.

"I gave Kristina the choice to come to you, Sonny, and she did. What you do with that chance is up to you."

She started to stand, but Sonny grabbed her hand, keeping her with him just one more moment.

"Alexis, if I..."

Her fingers touched upon his lips, silencing him.

"Sonny, if regrets were water, you and I would be swimming the Atlantic together. What happened between us happened. Worry about now. Make a better choice now."

He nodded as he let her reason and her kindness run over him. Sonny sat unmoving as he watched Johnny escort Alexis toward the launch where Skye was already waiting. He continued to sit there as he watched the small boat move away from the dock and head across the water to Wyndemere.

For hours after, Sonny sat there, staring at the house across the bay, thinking about the young woman who, he hoped, was thinking of him.

*****

Each year, as November 19th approached, the men in Alexis' life watched her transform from the businesswoman they admired so much into the world's most doting mother. Kristina knew her mother's love every day, of course, but on this day...on this day, Alexis shined brighter than on any other as both a woman and a mother. The anniversary of Kristina's appearance in her life was something too precious, she said, not to be celebrated to the hilt.

The theme of the year depended on Kristina's age and interests. Her first birthday had been simple...her family surrounding her watching her destroy a chocolate cake Mrs. Landsbury had made and decorated with lovely pink roses. Birthday number five had been spent at the circus. Birthday number 10 had been a garden party. Alexis had set up heaters so that it was hard to believe it was November outside in the warm cocoon that became the Cassadine rose garden. Last year, for Kristina's 18th, the birthday girl had wanted a very grown up affair, and so Alexis had thrown a black tie dance at Wyndemere. That night, Kristina's special gift had been her late aunt's half of her mother's beautiful heirloom necklace. On days when she was lonely for the comfort of her home, Kristina would finger the stunning piece of jewelry and remember the way its twin looked hanging around her mother's neck.

This year Kristina had been in the mood for something casual and fun. She had left the exact "what" up to her mother, and she had simply requested a day where everyone she loved was in attendance. No one ever refused Alexis' birthday invitations. Wherever they were, the eclectic group that made up Kristina's family could be counted on to keep this one day a year free for whatever plans were set in place for the day.

The grand ballroom had been off limits to Kristina for days, and though she had plotted with her cousin Daniel, and she had bribed Johnny and Lady McCurry, Mrs. Landsbury's Scottish and far less serious replacement, Kristina had yet to succeed in finding out what her mother had planned. But the wait was over today, and Kristina had dressed in a favorite pair of jeans and a comfortable old cotton button up shirt she had stolen from her Uncle Jax years earlier, and bounded down the stairs.

A white bow hung on the door of the ballroom, waiting for her.

Kristina made quick work of the satin trimming and threw open the doors. Her shocked face was just crumbling into laughter as her mother walked up behind her and put her hands on Kristina's shoulders.

"What do you think?" Alexis asked, her own giggles joining Kristina's.

"I think Uncle Stefan is going to have a stroke!" Kristina exclaimed, her voice filled with the childish delight that still surfaced in her despite her growing maturity. "Mom, it's perfect!"

Kristina threw her arms around Alexis and then together, they ventured further into the room. The ballroom was filled with sand and flowers and potted trees...and well-placed fans blew heated air across it making a tropical breeze. One side was dominated by an electric grill, and Kristina could already see Luke and Lucky squabbling over who was going to be doing the cooking. There were games of varying sorts set up all around the room, from a poker table to a chess board, and instead of a table and chairs, large blankets with cushions were strewn everywhere. It was her very own private beach cove brought indoors, and Kristina loved it.

The brightly decorated room was filled an hour later with sounds of Stefan's shocked protest, Skye's reassuring voice and the delighted, "yeah!" of their 12-year-old son Daniel. Nikolas and his wife George had arrived, and Luke ribbed the poor woman again about how a cute baby girl born on the floor of his club had somehow gone so wrong as to grow up married to a Cassadine. Kristina raced to her cousin's defense, as always, reminding Luke that George, who had given up Georgie in college, was the best lawyer in town and the D.A., and that if he weren't careful, he'd be "in the slammer" before sunrise.

Zander and Emily arrived next with their young son Peter and then Lucky's wife Elizabeth arrived with their little girl Laura. Lesley Spencer, who had dropped Lulu when she went turned 15, was the only "family" member not in attendance, her organic chemistry exam proving the one and only thing that could keep her away.

The party moved into high gear, and as expected, Luke and Lucky began to compete for just who could grill the most perfect hamburger, piece of chicken, slice of salmon...you name it, they competed over it. Kristina was being forced to sample their opposing burger creations when she saw her Uncle Jax arrive and walk over to where her mother stood. The two embraced warmly and kissed, and then Jax raced over and rescued Kristina from the Spencer clan by throwing her over his still strong shoulders and hauling her to the chess table.

After Kristina finished waxing her uncle and her cousin Nikolas at chess, the day's poker game got under way. Kristina settled in, taking on all comers, and the tensions of her encounter yesterday were held at by the simple joy of being surrounded by the people who had given her a life filled with love. Her contentment lasted until Kristina noticed Johnny walk in and quietly attract her mother's attention. She knew why he had come. Her stomach dropped to her feet and she lost the next three hands as her mind reeled.

Her father was here.

*****

Alexis felt her heart skip a beat as she rounded the corner of the courtyard and saw him standing there. He looked far better than he had the night before, his trademark "smoothness" back in place. His eyes, though, remained haunted, and Alexis could only imagine the will it had taken to bring him here today.

"Sonny."

He heard her voice and turned. Instantly, a bright smile burned itself onto his face. She looked...light, happy...and young. For a moment, Sonny saw the woman he remembered, the one from before it had all gone to hell. That feeling of déjà vu only increased when Alexis' own dimples deepened in response to his silent greeting.

"I don't...I didn't know if she'd see me. I thought I should try, though."

Alexis nodded. Her eyes took in the small, unwrapped white box Sonny held in his hand.

"Her party's already started. Why don't you come in?"

Sonny shook his head. "No, ask her first. I don't...you know, it's her day. If she doesn't want me here, I don't want to ruin things."

Alexis walked forward, her hand suddenly rising to graze against his cheek.

"Okay, I'll speak with her. Wait here, okay?"

Sonny closed his eyes as the featherlike touch of her fingers against his skin passed over him. That was the gentleness his daughter had known all her life. Gratitude for that suddenly filled Sonny's heart, and he reflexively grabbed Alexis' hand before she could tear it completely away. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words disappeared. What was there to say? It was had been easy to use Alexis' deception yesterday to shield his own, but the truth was Sonny had chosen to stand on the sidelines while Alexis raised their child. He couldn't change it. He could only be thankful that it was this woman standing before him who had mothered his daughter. Perhaps he stood some small chance at forgiveness if Alexis could still look at him with so much care after all the bad times passed between them.

The moment ended and Alexis withdrew her hand from his. She turned and headed back to the house, and Sonny began to pace in the leaf-strewn courtyard as he waited for his daughter to pass sentence upon him.

*****

The door to the ballroom opened, and Kristina, now down five hands and taking an endless amount of ribbing from her assembled "uncles," looked up, her eyes immediately locking with her mother's.

"Ex-excuse me," she said, not thinking at first, then Kristina remembered where she was and what she was doing. "I mean, deal me out. I'll be back in a minute."

"Yep, there she goes...withering under the blistering heat of Spencer poker dominance," Luke teased as Kristina rose and crossed the room to Alexis.

"Your father is outside," Alexis said in a hushed tone.

"He...he really came?" Kristina asked, disbelieving. She had been so certain yesterday when he denied her again that he would lock himself away and pretend she didn't exist. But despite the gut instinct that told her, yes, he was here, she needed to hear her mother say it again.

"Yes, my love, he's here."

Kristina glanced back over shoulder at the group behind her. They were busy playing and laughing, and seemed not to notice her incredible dilemma. Turning back to her mother, Kristina looked to her as she had for 19 years for the answer she needed.

"What do I do?"

Alexis smiled as Kristina morphed from a confident 19-year-old woman into a small child right before her eyes. She pulled her daughter into her arms, holding her tight.

"What is your heart telling you to do?"

"Mom," Kristina said with that eye-rolling tone, "do you think listening to my heart where he's concerned is a good idea? It didn't work too well for you."

Alexis pulled back and looked at her daughter seriously.

"Listening to your heart is the only way to deal with Sonny Corinthos. Your mind will scare you and your better instincts will tell you to run the opposite direction. But your heart will tell you what's true where he's concerned. The day I stopped listening to my heart is the day...well, it was when the connection between us disappeared."

Kristina nodded, taking in not only the meaning of her mother's words but the essence of what they conveyed to her, and that was Alexis' love for this man. That it hadn't been killed by the terrible things that had happened between them...well, Kristina knew that meant something. After taking a deep breath, she kissed her mother's cheek and headed out of the room. Johnny stood by the front door and pointed toward where Sonny Corinthos waited. Kristina thanked him, and then walked toward the other half of herself.

"Hello," she said, stopping Sonny's pacing. He looked at her and smiled. Instinctively, he reached out and shook the tail of her shirt, letting a cascade of trapped sand loose.

"We're having a beach party," Kristina quipped, a slightly embarrassed tone coming into her voice. Sonny nodded.

"I, uh, thanks for seeing me."

Nerves began to overtake Kristina and she walked to the kissing bench that sat in the courtyard. She sat down, crossing her legs, and waited as her father made the same journey, sitting on the opposite side. He set something down beside his feet on the ground, and then turned to her.

"Kristina," he began, "I owe you so much more than an apology."

Her eyes lifted toward him, and today, tears threatened, and Kristina wondered if she would be able to fight them back. Her uncle's admonishment to consider why her father had done what he had, her mother's clear affection toward him, it was all jumbled up inside of her with the anger she felt for having been passed over.

"Can you just tell me why?"

Sonny shook his head. He had asked that same question once himself. His own father's answer had never seemed to be enough for him. Now he held his breath and wondered if his would be enough for his daughter.

"Anything I'd say would be an excuse. Believe me, I tried to justify one of them last night, but they're not reasons. I just...Kristina, I had spent my life making bad choices when it came to my life. You give me a business, I could triple the profits, but my life...I just couldn't seem to get a handle on it.

"The only time I knew how to look for what was best for me was when...was when your mother was there to help me look for it. And then, you know, stuff pulled us apart and when I was trying to make the life I had left work, I just...I made the wrong choice. It's really that simple."

Kristina nodded. It was as honest an answer as she thought he could give her. It didn't erase the pain of his denial, but it at least helped her understand a little bit more.

"I thought," she said, her voice shaky, "I thought you just didn't want me."

Sonny closed his eyes as he felt hot liquid begin to run from them. "No, sweetheart, that was never it. I wanted you so much. I just...I just thought I...I didn't deserve you."

Kristina lost her struggle for control, and tears streamed down her face as she heard her father's pained admission.

"I...I know that it's too late for me to be your father, Kristina. But it would be my honor...my absolute honor...if you would let me know you."

Alexis watched from the window as Kristina unwrapped her arms from around her own body and tentatively extended them toward Sonny. The uneasy, nervous first embrace soon grew comfortable, and father and daughter held each other for a very long time. When they parted, Sonny reached down and retrieved the small white box. He handed it to Kristina, and she opened it, pulling free one perfect gardenia blossom. Alexis sighed as her daughter, who loved the flowers as much as she did, inhaled its fragrance, and rewarded Sonny for his gift with her beautiful smile.

She was watching so intently that she hadn't heard Jax approach. He wrapped his arms around her, his eyes fixing to the same scene Alexis was watching.

"I never really got you back from him, did I?"

Alexis turned and looked up into his blue eyes. "I'm sorry."

Jax kissed her cheek. "Don't be sorry. It was my choice to stay, and I can't imagine having been happier." Jax paused, knowing goodbye when it was happening. "But be sure he knows that if he hurts you again, I'll kill him."

Alexis shook her head and turned her eyes back to the scene outside. "He's here for his daughter, Jax, not for me."

He knew she was wrong, but Jax didn't argue the point. Why should he help Corinthos steal back what he didn't deserve? But Jax knew that Sonny had stayed away from Kristina partly because he couldn't face his past with Alexis. Now that the process had begun, it was only a matter of time...and Jax knew his heart wouldn't be the only casualty. He hoped Carly was ready for what was coming.

*****

Three days later, Alexis sat at her desk in her bedroom suite, Kristina's baby book opened in front of her. Several pages had remained blank for years now, mostly because Alexis had always harbored some belief that in time, the moments would come. The left-hand side of where the book rested open now read "first gift from mother." A piece of lamby-pie's fur was pasted down there beside a photo of baby Kristina and the prized stuffed animal. Lamby-pie was probably currently propping up Kristina's finance book as she prepared for her midterm exam. The visual made Alexis chuckle.

The right-hand page read "first gift from father." Alexis picked up the small plastic bag that held the pressed gardenia Sonny had given Kristina for her birthday, and carefully placed it down on the page. Finally, she thought, the page was complete.

Things were far from settled between them all. Kristina had needed to return to school the day after her birthday, and so any real time together for her and her father would have to wait till the holidays. But Alexis knew that now that the two had taken that first step toward each other, they would find their way.

She would always regret what they would never have, but Alexis couldn't dwell on it too much. Her goal had been to keep their child safe and raise her surrounded by love. That goal had been met. The price had been paid not only by Sonny in lost years but by Alexis as well. The cost of her choice had been Sonny.

She missed him still. She imagined she always would. But at least now, Kristina need not, and for Alexis, that was enough.

Alexis was just closing the book when a knock sounded at her door. She rose and made her way over to open it.

"I have your mail for the day," Johnny said, and Alexis smiled at him as she took the stack.

"Thank you, Johnny."

Johnny nodded and turned to leave. Alexis closed the door and returned to her desk. On top of the stack was a letter written on Harvard stationary. Alexis smiled and opened it first.

"Dear Mom, I just wanted you to know that I love you. I can't imagine any other mother being brave enough to put the choices you've given to me in their child's hands. I will never forget that you believed in me and trusted me enough to do so. I only hope my own daughter is half as lucky as I have been. Love, Kristina."

Mist covered her eyes as she read her daughter's note again and again. Alexis often felt overwhelmed by her love for and pride in Kristina, but she had never felt it as much as she did right now.

Shaking off the emotional overload of the moment, Alexis reached for the next letter on the stack. She recognized the handwriting the moment she saw it. Steeling herself, she lifted the flap and pulled the contents free.

"Alexis, I just wanted you to know that...well, I know that if Kristina hadn't come to me I probably never would have had the courage to seek her out. You telling her the truth, giving her your blessing to include me in her life...that is the reason I have a chance to know her. Thank you. Maybe one day, if you have the time, we could get together and talk? I would like to know what her life has been like...what your life has been like. Sonny."

Alexis lifted the fine piece of paper up toward her face and the scent of Sonny's cologne drifted into her senses. She knew what she had told Jax, she knew that this chapter of her life should be long ago over.

But as she inhaled the scent that was only Sonny, her heart skipped a beat.

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